Decisions..

I know..
it's hard..
but sometimes..
I really hope that you'll have a decision..
have a stand..
and not let me make all the choices..

I know..
in letting me make the choice,
it'll save you a lot of trouble..
because in that way,
you need not worry that I won't like it..

At times,
I hope that you'd tell me what you want..
and not keep me guessing..

It'd be nice if sometimes,
things are already planned out..
At other times,
it'd be great to be spontaneous..

I guess we just have to find the balance...

~Don't push me away.. please..~

Yesterday...

My family had steamboat yesterday..
Almost the whole paternal side came over..

I went to the supermarket to buy food with my dad..
Came home..
And became the maid..
Wash and cut all the ingredients..
After dinner,
I had to wash everything up too..

My family has sore eye germs spreading from one to another..
That's one reason why I had to do everything -
We're short of eyes at home.. :P

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In everything that you do,
You have to put effort in..

Not only in the things that you're interested in..
or the things that you've passion in..
but also in the things that you don't really like..

For example..
Waking up -
I know.. lazing and sleeping in really is a nice thing
Getting to school on time -
Poly life might be slack but still.....
Studying -
Common test are round the corner!

Be determined to do it..
Set your mind on it..
Pray..

You'll be able to do it..

Today hasn't been a good day..

Went to hand in my overdued timesheet..

Went down to school..
Tried to do my income and expenditure in union..
And the printer couldn't print..

The tuition agency I signed up with.....
They acutally offered me 2 assignments..
Another lady called and confirmed the details of the assignments with me..
Asked me about my commitment and all..
So I told her truthfully that I would look for a full-time job later..
In less than 5 minutes after this lady put down the phone,
The one that offered me the assignment called me and ranted at me..
Said that I shouldn't have told anyone that I was looking for a full-time job..
And asked if I could commit to the other one..

First of all..
She asked me to lie about my age.. (I was supposed to say that I'm 21 this year)

Then..
I was supposed to say that I'm a full-time tutor..

Now..
She scolded me and asked me not to go for that tuition assignment already..

Like...
What in the world?!?

She's taking 50% of my first month's pay..
Mind you...
It's 50%........

And IF I don't complete the first month..
I'll have to pay 50% of the pay for breaking the contract..

And I did call her on that day to explain why I cannot commit on the afternoon one..
She told me to work for 1 or 2 months, get the pay..
Then call her after that..
So that she can explain to the family and get another tutor for them..

After that..
Had dinner with baby..
And he got a tummy ache..

And because I didn't respond to him when he told me he had a tummy ache..
He's angry with me..

I'm sorry..
It's my fault..
I didn't respond to you..

There're times you don't respond to me too..
Guess it's ok..
You're busy..
You've got other poeple to care about..
Other things to do..

When we're at the studio..
It's not that I don't interact with people..
When I help them..
Talk to them and stuff..
People talk behind my back..
I know I'm not good enough..
Bad at basics,
techniques etc.
I'm trying..

It seems..
No matter how hard I try..
Or how much I do..
People will still not be happy..

Either you'll not be happy..
Or.........
Sigh...

~Would you die for me, would you run with me?
Would you go with me and never look back?
Would you be there to love, to be with me?~

~If there's true love, there'll be tolerance and forgiveness..~

I admire Clar and Brian's relationship..
They're so rooted..

Spiritually especially..
They pray for each other..
and they really believe in God..
that He'll do everything for their best.

I hope that baby and I can be like them too..
Although we've been together longer than they have..
I feel...
that we aren't as rooted spiritually..

I pray that we'll be able to walk towards that direction..

My new favourite song..

Baby..
This is for you..

CRY ON MY SHOULDER
(Deutsch. Sucht Den Super.)

If the hero never comes to you
If you need someone you're feeling blue
If you're away from love and you're alone
If you call your friends and nobody's home
You can run away but you can't hide
Through a storm and through a lonely night
Then I show you there's a destiny
The best things in life
They're free

Chorus:

But if you wanna cry
Cry on my shoulder
If you need someone who cares for you
If you're feeling sad your heart gets colder
Yes I show you what real love can do

If your sky is grey oh let me know
There's a place in heaven where we'll go
If heaven is a million years away
Oh just call me and I make your day
When the nights are getting cold and blue
When the days are getting hard for you
I will always stay here by your side
I promise you I'll never hide

Repeat chorus

What real love can do
What love can do
What real love can do
What love can do
What real love can do
What love can do

Baby..

I was munching on pineapple tarts (yeah.. I still haven't finished my chinese new year goodies yet..) and thought of you..
You might think it's weird but I'll let you in on why ok?

It seems that I've been giving you weird cravings..
Pineapple tarts..
Now durian..

Maybe it's my influence on you..

You say that I don't like the things you like..
but then again..
you don't like things I do too..
(with regards to food)

I suppose I cause you lots of worry..
Sorrow at times..
Things you don't like about me..
but I'm thankful for you..

Really am..

I might have said this many times..
but I really mean it..
I thank God for you in my life..

Saw lightning at my block with baby last week..

It really is very nice..

The wonders of God's creation..

I was watching some documentary on arts central just now..
It showed the plants growing..
Dying..

The beauty of it all..

Everything's so beautiful..

All things bright and beautiful
All creatures great and small
All things nice and wonderful
The Lord God made them all

Each little flower that opens
Each little bird that sings
God made their lovely colours
He made their tiny wings

Today..
Baby brought me to a place that we've not been to before..
We went to Crystal Jade for dinner..
The food's great..
Thank you baby.. :)

Today's 9 months from the first day that we started..

I'm glad that we've managed to carry on till today..

Baby..
Although I haven't been perfect..
Although I have been giving you problems..
Been letting you feel insecure..
I'm happy that you've been standing by me all this while..

I'm glad that you've not let go of me all this while..

Thank you..

I love you..

My lap top is up and running again!!! (Finally!)

The various events that have happened..

I was rejected by NTU..
So I've got to look for a job soon..
like REAL SOON..
Gotta pay loans and all..

My student stopped tuition already..

So.......

Sigh...

Dear all...

Please bear with me..

My lap top's been down.. (still is.. am currently on my brother's lap top..)

I've wanted to blog about many things..
Wanted to change some stuff in my template..

Wait a while yeah?

I know I haven't been blogging..
Sorry!

Went out with baby today...
He bought me a mouse!

My mouse was spoilt and I was trying to improvise by using the touchpad..
and he bought me a nice mouse!
It's expensive.. but nice..

I'll take good care of my mouse..

Thank you baby..
:)

Baby..

I'm sorry..

I really do love you..
and I do not want this love to be a burden to you..

I'm leaving your side..

Till you decide that I'm not a burden..
Till you feel that I'm not pressurizing you..

I'm sorry..

This would probably hurt me more than it hurts you..

But it's for your happiness..

I'm willing to do it..

I'm sorry........

Please take care of yourself..
Especially when I'm not around..
Drink more water..
Keep yourself warm..

-Day 1 of disappearance...
No more blogging..

~Baby.. I hope that you'll be happy.. I love you still.. ~

Am I asking for too much?
Am I pressing?
Overbearing?

Am I too much to handle?
Possessive?

If that's your wish..
I'll disappear..

~I'm a genie in a bottle, baby....~

I'm afraid of what I'd hear from you when you cool down..

Yet,
I do want to hear from you...

~This hurts more than you know..~

If You're Not the One - Daniel Bedingfield

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

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Can't you see that I love you?

Sorry for not being the perfect one you want..
I'm trying my best....

~Is the love I gave in the past gonna be enough to last.... If tomorrow never comes.....~

I don't know what's wrong..

You seem to be angry with me..

Agitated by the things I did..

Pent-up anger?
Frustration?

You don't seem to care..

I'm sorry....

~I'm useless.. it's my fault..~

Oh..

Anyway..

Baby's back..
:)

I got him a wallet for his welcome back and 8th month present..

He bought me a decoration..

1 bottle..
half-filled with love grass seeds..
with a smaller bottle inside..
containing a slip of paper that says "Qing Ding Jin Sheng"..

So sweet..

Thank you baby..

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Went to catch Spiderman 3 yesterday..

Nothing much to comment except that you should really watch it..

It's GOOD... :)

I'm bored.......

Tired..

Lazy..

Don't feel like working......

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The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was arrogant, acting like the dictator of your life. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

True true!!!

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You Are a White Rose

You represent youthfulness and purity. Your vibe: Sweet and heavenly Falling in love with you: is like falling in love for the first time

What Color Rose Are You?

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He is a Man

You have yourself a perfect gentleman and a total keeper Your guy almost always acts appropriately He's probably even very upstanding when you're not around There's no boy left in your boyfriend - he's all man!

Is He A Boy or a Man?

Whatever it is..

He's mine!!!

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Your Inner Color is Blue

Your Personality: Your natural warmth and intuition nurtures those around you. You are accepting and always follow your heart. You in Love: Relationships are your top priority, and this includes love. You are most happy when you are serious with someone. Your Career: You need to help others in your job to feel satistifed. You would be a great nurse, psychologist, or counselor.

What's" Your Inner Color?

Cool career paths..

I might just consider...... :P

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Never Date a Libra

Indecisive, flirtatious, and downright deceptive - your Libra will tell you what you want to hear.Problem is they'll be telling *everyone* what they want to hear. Instead try dating: Pisces, Taurus, Virgo, or Scorpio

What Sign Shouldn't You Date?

And I've dated a libra before.........

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Told you I was bored..........