Hey.. managed to catch Spiderman 2.. it's a COOL show.. I encourage u ppl to watch it.. it's def value for money.. :)

Had tutorial this morning.. aft tt, benny, dar n I went down to PS to book the tix.. gt 6.. then we had kimchi omelette for dinner n benny a noodle omelette b4 heading back to sch for lecture.. today's lecture's on microeconomics.. it's LOTSA stuff.. lotsa info given in 1 day.. the tutorial is quite a handful as well..

Went to watch the 6.35 movie.. Benny, Leng Yeow, Sheng Da, Dar, Zhi Wei n me.. we sat in the 3rd row.. haha.. yeah.. it was THAT popular.. aft tt, Sheng Da ate at BK.. then we went home.. nt much done today.. I think I muz start reading my econs.. sigh.. dun really understand what in the world's happening..

Went to sch today.. had 2 lectures.. Business Statistics n Organisation Behaviour.. BSTATS has lotsa defination.. like a population is the collection of items or data of study n the characteristic of a population is know as the parameter.. a sample is a portion of the population n its characteristic is called the statistic.. There r 2 type of statistic.. descriptive n inferential.. descriptive is the one where u describe how the situation is like n inferential is well.. inferential.. then there are 2 types of variables.. Qualitative n quantitative.. qualitative in nonnumerical n quantitative is numerical.. quantitative can be further split into discrete n continuous variable where discrete is countable n continous is uncountable.. there're 4 lvls.. Norminal n ordinal belonging to qualitative, interval n ratio with quantitative.. n so on n so forth.. sigh.. lotsa defn.. OB is more of common sense I guess.. it's the study of ppl's behaviour n how it'll affect the organisation..

Sigh.. Went back with Sheng Da, Leng Yeow, Benny n dar today.. :) ooo.. the food there is gd.. n most imptly.. CHEAP!!! :) A plate of bee hoon with a fish fillet costs only $1.10, a plate of chicken chop, chicken cutlet costs $2.80, a plate of fruits.. watermelon, papaya n honey dew costs $1.20.. cheap rite? Haha..

When I reached sch today, I went to collect my tertiary pass.. quite ok.. then collected matriculation package which consists of a FOC T-shirt, a bag, planner, CCA introduction bklet, a pen n a set of screw-drivers (to screw loose screws! :P) I saw Kah How aft collecting the package.. he saw me n hid his face behind his bag.. HMPH! Serves him right for scolding me for no apparent reason.. yest, he scolded me for saying tt he think tt Shi Shi likes him when he doesn't.. pt is.. I DIDN'T DO IT!!! When I told him tt I didn't do it, then he said tt sm gal said tt to him.. like.. what in the world made him think tt I'm the one who did it?!? IDIOT.. so.. he kinda had a guilty conscience today.. hmph!

Alan called me when I was abt to go home n told me tt I had to work on thurs, fri, sat n sun nite.. sigh.. fine.. smone muz have bailed out on him again.. whatever.. at least I can earn money..

N oh.. btw.. I was supposed to be able to go to sch @ 3 tmr.. bt.. sigh.. the lecturer pulled forward the tuitorial to tmr.. so I'll be having OB tutorial tmr.. reach sch @ 10.. tutorial till 12.. then lecture frm 3 to 5.. Imagine having to rush thru tutorials in 1 day when it's supposed to be a 1 wk thing! haha.. well.. bt I've done them.. so.. no diff..

Back frm CP.. went with nat n bida.. bought 2 cap sleeved tees for bida cos she liked them.. so.. gt them for her b'day.. early b'day gift.. then bought a V-necked tee for Kai Siong's christmas gift.. going to get a pair of jeans for him too.. prob giodano blues.. nt sure.. else might consider 77th st's.. will see..

Saw quite a few xinminians there.. had KFC for dinner..

Dar.. dunno what's wrong with her.. I was asked to pass the msg to her.. we (the class) will be mtg tmr @ 11 @ canteen 1.. then she replied tt she dunno n asked if I'm confirmed to go.. then I told her tt I might nt be having brunch with them bt I'd reach sch by 11.. she then said tt since I've alr decided, y bother to ask her.. tt she'd be bringing her lap top n added tt it's up to me to decided whether I'd bring it or nt or if I wanna gang up with the rest of my class nt to bring.. like.. what's her prob? Have I done anything wrong??? If I've nt done my part as a fren, I'm sorry.. bt is it my fault? Is it wrong to have new frenz? EH n YH dun like me.. have I said anything abt it? Did I tell her to choose me over them? I DIDN'T!!! I told her tt she's free to choose them.. tt it's better to choose 2 instead of 1.. n she was the one who told me tt they were the ones who dun like me.. nt her.. well.. thx for tt bt what's this all abt?

Ok.. I've found out tt there're more ppl who dun like me.. like Jinglin.. prob Vennie.. ok.. I know.. there're many.. fine.. I know.. they dun like me for who I am.. for what I present myself to be.. u want me to keep to myself? Fine.. I can do it.. n I can do it better than anyone..

Yes.. I'm bossy.. unreasonable.. irritating.. full of myself.. proud, arrogant, strong-willed n whatever nt.. I can understand y u can't accept me.. I'll know y u find me detestable.. cos.. I'm like this.. well.. whether u like it or nt.. I'm like this.. I'm trying to change.. bt I'm like this.. u want me to shut-up? FINE!

Gaius is SOOOOOO SWEET! :) He msged me during his break n asked me how's sch n all.. :) nice.. I might be mtg up with him tmr.. he ends sch @ 11 n I start @ 12.. so.. there might be this possibility.. IF I meet my class @ canteen 1 @ 11 tt is.. hmm.. might go..

Did a quiz.. The Royalty quiz.. guess what I gt???

You are a Princess!
Lovely, Innocent, Charming!


As a Princess you recognize there is so much about the world you need to learn. You may sometimes be naive but other times you are wise beyond your years! You are sharp, observant, joyous, and interested in your own personal growth. You have a very caring heart, and are a sweet and beautiful woman.





Which Royalty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.


true? There're others like queen, lady, maiden.. bt I gt this.. hmmm..

Hey ppl.. didn't blog yest cos no 1. my bro was hogging on to the com.. no 2. I was dead tired..

Went to work yest.. 1st went with nat to do sm shopping.. I bought 3 stretch tanks frm U2, 2 V-back shorts for dar's b'day prezzie (shhhhh....), my earrings (I've lost 1.. :'() Spent abt.. hmm..
$51.50.. sigh.. no $$ alr.. :( Where's my $$$???

Yest was quite bz.. by 6.30 we're alr almost full.. @ the end of the day, we earned.. $6000+ so.. nt tt bad..

Today no sch! :P dunno.. ppl still say have.. sm say dun have..I dun really care.. I'm nt going today.. cos they say dun have.. hmph! N I might be going to Barbara's to cut hair.. MIGHT..

Juz back nt long ago.. went to Kai Siong's house frm 9-12.. had breakfast there.. bee hoon with fish cake n cabbage.. n played monopoly.. I won! Haha.. :P Ended the game with... 36000++ didn't really count the money cos they kinda confirmed tt I won..

Went to nat's plc aft tt.. was supposed to go to marina bay with dar n EH bt they didn't call me so I didn't go.. stayed at nat's plc the whole day.. slept for abt 3 hrs.. haha.. then had dinner.. went to s'goon garden to try to buy cheese fries bt found out tt the kfc there has closed down!!! So we went back empty handed.. aft tt, we had a 'girls nite in' session where we did gal stuff.. shhh.. ;)

Today's the last day of bAoc.. my item was cancelled cos the guy couldn't rmb his part.. so.. they thought it weird to have me there if there isn't a guy.. well I dun mind.. I gt to be the narrator of the '60 sec of fame' event..

My class is like so SUPER CRAZY!!! We're def the most enthusiastic class in the grp n prob the most siao class in the whole of the sch of BA.. :P

Oooo.. Zhong Qiang won!!!! YAHOO!!! Mr bAoc 2004! Kim gt runner up.. :) Samantha, Chalsea (dunno if I spelt her name correctly..) n I went totally mad.. we were like screaming n shouting like mad.. n jumping n hugging.. like literally.. we went down to look for them n everybody else were staring at us like as though we were a few mad ppl cos we were screaming.. n there, is where I'll attribute my sore throat.. yes.. I'm having a sore throat.. alr had one b4 I started cheering.. aft tt, it's MUCH worst.. sigh.. bt.. it's worth it.. really is.. I dun have to go to sch on mon anyway.. haha..

The planning committee for bAoc 2004 preesnted a skit cum dance for us.. man.. imagine 3 guys in a white mini skirt, long sleeve shirt, dark blue tie n long socks.. yes.. white MINI SKIRT.. n they danced to the song Ai Ni by Cyndi.. haha.. man.. saw Zi Kai n dar n I were like.. sigh.. this is our sch's bb officer.. haha.. bt it was quite cool.. the guys were quite sporting.. n.. they changed (guys n gals alike) behind a cloth.. white cloth.. so the ppl sitting at the sides could see what was happening.. n kah how was staring like nobody's business.. sigh.. guys..

My class is considering on going to watch spiderman 2 on wed morning.. haha.. our lessons only start at 3.. so.. who cares??? :P Atiqa's lecture starts at 1.. Lionel cannot make it bt says he'll confirm again.. he says tt my class is super united n he's proud of us.. Hui Juan says tt she cannot confirm yet bt will try cos we're v fun to be with.. :) cool.. everyone replied me bt kah how.. (-_-"

Kah How won the best SB(senior buddy) award in the ring.. yeah.. each grp has 1.. so for our grp is him.. haha.. cool.. :)

Oh.. there was one casualty today.. frm harry potter.. this time.. I think it's the SB.. or smone like tt.. they were playing 'thow pok'.. u know.. when ppl go on top of each other to squash the person rite below.. well.. this guy was def squashed.. he was writhing in pain n gasping for air.. the ambulance was called for (the 2nd time in the wk..) I think tt he gt fractured ribs n according to Chun Xiang, he might have a fractured shoulder as well..

The 2 guys yest.. the teeth went 2cm deep.. no fracture.. prob juz bleeding cos of impact.. the other guy.. broke his jaw.. 3 of his teeth touched the nerve of his neck causing a strain, thus making him unable to move.. sigh.. ppl all so rough..

Went out with dar for dinner @ clementi.. had stingray, kangkong n dumplings.. mmm.. VERY filling.. :)

Went for orientation.. for the first time in 7 mths I had to wake up at 5 am to go to sch at 6 plus to reach sch by 745.. haha..

Today was sports day.. had quite a few games.. one of the more "memorable" ones is the water one.. man.. we had to pass water frm one end to the other using cups.. n we can only hold the cups with our hands.. n I gt wet.. sigh.. thankfully I was wearing red.. nt white.. :P

The relay was quite a.. what word should I use.. disaster.. yeah.. there were 2 accidents.. one guy's head gt knocked by someone's teeth n it bleed.. besides tt, his knee was bleeding as well.. I suspect tt he's having slight concussion n an open fracture on his right femur.. another guy seemed to have injured his neck cos he was unable to move n the paramedics who arrived within 10 mins had to put him on a makeshift stretcher to transport him..

Had lunch with few of my classmates.. we actually planned to go to kap mac bt cos I couldn't make it.. n the senior buddies would nt be able to join us, we decided to stay in sch..

Stayed in sch till abt 5+ for singing practice.. yah.. I'll be singing tmr.. ohh.. Zhong Qiang is chosen to represent The Ring (my orientation grp) for tmr's beauty pagent.. haha.. cool.. :P

Had dinner with dar today.. chicken rice at S11.. jubilee there..

I dunno what's her prob.. all I said was tt I couldn't accompany her to sch tmr n she was like.. anything.. u go ahead.. I've gotta get used to being alone.. n all this kinda crap.. what's the prob?!? I only said tmr!!! Sigh.. SIGH...

Hi! :) went for bAoc today.. quite ok.. met my classmates.. guess what? Diana, Benny n I r in the same class.. like SO COOL! It's 1 in a million tt 3 ppl frm the same sec sch can end up in the same class.. haha.. okok so far.. frm those I know today.. there're 6 guys.. n 8 gals including diana n me.. sm didn't turn up so I dunno the full strength of the class.. my senior buddy, kah how.. is cute.. haha.. dunno how to define tt.. juz.. cute.. :P saw Chun Xiang.. who's in Harry potter.. n David who's in star wars.. sigh.. all nt taking me..

Collected my lap top which, is charging now.. haha.. :) Will be able to use it.. tmr! Bt I've gotta reach sch by 745 tmr! sigh.. so early.. can't rmb when was the last time tt I had to wake up by 5+ to take a bus by 630 to reach sch by 745.. actually.. come to think of it.. I've NV done it b4!!! Sigh.. muz get used to it.. anyway.. I wun be having tutorials on the 1st wk of sch.. which actually means.. tt I'll only be having 2 hrs of lessons on mon, 4 hrs on tue, 2 hrs on wed, 3 hrs on thurs, 2 hrs on fri.. like v little rite.. haha.. nxt wk only.. (if u want my timetable.. msg me or tag my tagboard.. I'll try to send it to u ASAP..)

I'm selected for sm presentation grp thingy.. supposed to sing/dance.. sigh.. the song's Crazy in Love by Beyonce.. sigh.. would seriously rather dance to tt than sing tt.. cos.. ezier.. it's nt exactly the kinda song tt I'll sing..

Dar left.. when I was having the briefing.. she juz.. left.. I felt stressed.. she told me tt if I dun go to meet her than I can forget abt mtg her alr.. so.. I decided to skip everything.. skip practice.. n rush down.. in a cab.. I had to draw $$ first.. n was quite fortunate tt the taxi driver was oso going to amk.. else I'd have to wait for another one.. spent $8.80 to go down to amk mrt station to look for her.. aft tt, we wanted to go to orchard.. bt cos we were too tired, we.. overslept n ended up in somerset.. haha.. so went to hereen for sakae.. oh n.. there's wallet shop there!!! YES! bt ARGH! EH has alr gotten her a wallet.. die.. so what m I supposed to get her now??? Aft tt, we went to cine's Kbox.. left @ ard 8+ n I headed hm..

I'm sorry bt I think I'd rather remain single.. at least for now.. cos I still haven't gt over it.. I dun wanna be unfair to u.. or to anyone else for the matter.. u're a nice person.. really.. I dun wanna be an obstruction to ur future happiness.. u deserve someone better.. nt someone like me..

1 yr's approaching.. He loves her.. dunno how she feels the same abt him.. bt.. it's sweet.. nice.. sigh.. dunno how I'm supposed to feel abt it bt.. I feel happy for them.. really do.. bt.. I cannot deny.. I do think abt the times tt we WERE together.. n they'll always remain in my heart.. thx for the wonderful memories.. :)

Check this out.. v nice poems.. in a way.. I can relate to them... Esp to "Losing Grip" n the last one..

Beautiful Lie

You are running away in the garden of memories, The thorns below your feet hurting with every step you take. Stubborness is what keeps you alive. When you fall and bleed, the fresh blood is like a rose blooming in the desert.

Looking for the exit, yet yearning to be lost within this beautiful lie, You are running but sinking, your shadow screaming in vain. "Life is beautiful", you say. What a lie. The most beautiful lies in the past, not the future.

Even if the moonlight lights up this eden of pain, You'll never know..

That the brighter it is, the darker it really is That the more degenerated one is, the more beautiful it is That..the more love he gives..the less he will receive..

You choose to close your eyes, finding blessing in ignorance. But at this point, the story has just begun.

--------------------------------------

Losing Grip

Slowly but surely I am losing your image, your smile in my mind.. All the sweet memories, I can't seem to find.

Swallowed by sorrow's embrace I patiently wait for my turn to sink Wondering why our hearts did not link.

Hoping for a better tomorrow I loosen my grip and fall straight down Down to the deep valleys of despair, where I drown.

Will my scarred heart ever see the light of day?

'Cause right now the sun is rising, but my heart remains frozen.

--------------------------------------

You came into my life Quietly, simply, placidly And my words stood still...
I couldn't express in words Just in simple gestures The feelings I kept in my heart.

So I loved in silence, Admired you for who you are Dreamt of you every night.

I wanted to say I love you... I wanted to say I care. But cowardly, maybe, you'll only leave me.

In silence then I will love you... In silence then I will care...

Perhaps I can only love in silence...

Home! :) Didn't go to work today.. haha..

I woke up quite late today.. then I went to Nat's plc for dinner b4 proceeding to the nite mkt there.. saw Teck Wee n Ker Wei.. then Dennis n Gidman.. haha.. while nat n I were walking the lights there suddenly went off.. everyone had a sychronised sigh.. aft a while the lights came on again.. didn't see anything tt I like there though..

Aft tt, we went to Serangoon park.. n today's the 22nd.. smwhere last yr ard this time I was at the same plc with him.. sigh.. dunno.. dunno.. sigh.. bt I did think of him n the times we had..

Sorry.. I'm nt as strong as u think I am.. esp with regards to rlsps.. I dun trust in myself.. I've gt nth to give.. guang de.. I know tt u'll nv get to read this.. bt.. I admire u for being devoted n all bt.. I'm sorry.. u said tt u dun care if I can't give u anything.. tt all u want is my love.. bt.. can't u see tt I can't even give tt to u? I'm trying my best nt to hurt u too much.. pls dun do this to me..

I really have nth to give.. will u still like me?

Juz gt to access the com.. hmm.. work last nite.. was V bz.. talking on the phone to zhaoz.. been smtime since he talked to me.. he's at frankie's plc now.. with Yue Ming n Han Ting.. they were SUPPOSED to be studying.. n waiting for Euro2004 to start.. bt they're nt studying.. haha.. nth to say..

Guang de asks me out for a movie.. sigh.. dunno.. he wants to watch best bet.. n I.. sigh.. I dunno.. dun think I'll be going..

u know.. I suck.. haha.. okok.. I think tt I'm arrogant, proud, snobbish, unreasonable n whatever nt.. so.. I dunno y ppl will like me.. if u think tt I'm like this as well.. tag my tagborad.. :) thx..

Went to collect my 'o' lvl cert with nat n dar.. then aft tt, dar n I went to PS.. manz.. where in the world r all the Wallet Shops?!? sigh.. we went to xzone.. there was this bunch of guys there.. then they wanted to race with us.. so we obliged.. n.. haha.. ok.. wasn't tt bad.. I lost horribly the 1st round.. bt the 2nd round I gt 2nd.. :P

Ppl.. if u know where to get pierre cardin wallets.. Pls tell me.. I need them.. URGENTLY.. preferably b4 the end of the mth..

I've finally gained access to the com.. sigh.. my siblings were hogging on to the com.. irritating..

Went to church.. then went to work.. I cut my finger.. or pricked it.. whatever.. I hurt my right thumb.. sigh.. quite careless.. haha.. pain..

Almost fell.. actually.. I did fall.. when I was working.. cos the kitchen floor was oily.. smone accidentally spilt oil on the floor so it became slippery.. n I "fell" in front of the customers.. quite embarrassing.. thankfully no one saw.. n I didn't fall flat on the ground.. my hands were supporting me..

Sigh.. Guang De.. sigh.. I've no idea what to do with him.. he's gt this software tt allows him to use a pen to write what he wants to say.. n he drew a pic of what he wishes most.. n wrote.. drew.. whatever.. he sent the symbols I love u.. sigh.. I told him tt I dun understand y then he shot me the qns.. "y u like _________ last time?" Wow.. caught me.. I dunno.. haha.. bt I told him tt it's cos of the way he treats me.. cos of the feeling tt he gives me whenever I'm with him.. smhow.. when I was with him, I get the sense of security.. tt nth will go wrong.. tt he will be beside me.. with me all the time.. I dunno if it's cos of what he said.. bt.. it remains.. Last yr.. last yr.. sigh.. soon.. v soon.. in another 16 days will be their 1 yr.. in 17 days will be.. need I mention? 17 days.. sigh.. has it been tt long?

*zhaoz.. anticipating tt I write his name izzit.. haha.. dream on.. :P

I rmb asking u tt if I can't love u wholeheartedly, will u still like me.. u asked me y nt.. do u know now? I said tt I dun mind if u'd leave now.. n I really dun.. u can feel free to leave anytime.. juz.. tell me..

Oh.. Dar.. dunno when u'll get to read this.. bt.. I know tt u'll have to make a choice one of these days.. maybe sooner.. maybe later.. n.. I juz wanna say.. tt even if u choose them over me, I wun blame u.. better to choose 2 than 1.. :) Juz wanna say tt u mean a lot to me.. Love u..

Maybe I say tt too often.. maybe I juz say it.. bt.. u think so? If I can say those 3 words so ezily.. do u think I'll be like this now? haha.. it's up to u to decide.. all up to personal perspective.. what do u think?

Juz came back frm mtg my kor.. sigh.. u know what's the prob? They quarrelled over a cam.. juz cos she dropped the cam n it spoilt.. then they became like this.. sigh.. I dunno.. he drank 2 bottles of Heineken.. talked a little.. n.. yeah.. I found out tt both he n Yang Hong don't like me.. well.. quite obvious.. haha.. I suck anyway.. it doesn't really matter.. I juz dunno how ppl can put up with me..

Sigh.. Dar n EH quarrelled.. so she isn't working.. n I'm nt working.. sigh..

Dar called me to tell him tt she'll be at toa payoh till 9.30.. tt if he wants to see her, he's to reach there b4 9.30.. else he can forget abt mtg her today.. sigh.. I dunno what's wrong.. 2 days ago they were happy.. they were blissful.. n.. they were celebrating their 1/3 yr together.. 2 days later.. they're quarrelling.. sigh.. I dunno.. what's it with quarrelling?

I'm back! Went to work yest.. then went to my fren's plc to stay.. quite tired now.. haha.. zzz..

Yest morning when I went to work, I was thinking of him.. then.. tt lady tt was standing nxt to me had the song 'huang hun' playing frm her discman.. aft tt, when I had the 3 hrs break, nat came down with dar n my uniform.. then she, Kai Lin n me went to far east.. on the way back with Kai Lin, at the underpass, I heard tt song again.. argh.. sigh.. cannot get away frm tt song n him.. n the link.. sigh.. sigh..

Yest wasn't exactly a v nice day.. I gt "scolded" by Yang Hong.. sigh.. cos I was a little.. ok.. I think I was bossy.. n I've gt no rite to be so.. so.. my mood wasn't all tt gd.. I didn't feel like talking.. sorry..

Sorry if I caused u to worry.. it's nt on purpose.. it's juz me.. sorry for nt talking.. for switching off my hp so tt ppl cannot find me.. sorry.. guess u've juz gotta get used to it.. haha..

Hello peeps! Miss me??? Haha.. okok.. was supposed to be with Dar, EH n Song Xi now bt.. I'm now at Nat's plc.. whatever.. haha..

Yest, I was there.. abt a total of 30 ppl turned up.. quite a bunch.. then only 6 ppl stayed.. PATHATIC.. Dar, EH, Song Xi, Wei Cai, Yang Hong n me.. haha.. ok.. Wei Cai is another pig.. sigh.. his hp was ringing cos Ah Miu wanted to ask him to give him a morning call.. I tried to shake him up bt he continued slping.. I guess he's too tired.. I ended up "slping" btwn Yang Hong n Wei Cai.. I was sharing a bed with Yang Hong cos Song Xi snatched the bed frm her when she went to get a cup of water.. haha.. or should I say a bowl of water.. hmmm.. we ran outta cups so we had to improvise with bowls.. haha.. Whatever.. in the end I didn't really slp.. cos on one hand, I was awoken by every single movement tt Yang Hong n Wei Cai made.. n on the other.. I was afraid tt Wei Cai would hug me or smtg cos I took away his pillow.. :P

Aft tt, we went to have brunch.. Bak Kut Teh with pig trotters, chicken, roast duck n meat n veg.. sounds like a sumptuous meal yah? haha.. then, we went back to the chalet to rot for a while.. aft tt, Song Xi, EH n Dar went cycling.. Wei Cai went hm.. Yang Hong left much earlier cos she had to work in the morning today.. n I was left in the chalet rm ALONE.. sigh..

Kai Lin asked me if I could work today n I was like.. whatever.. so I went to work.. The 2 "new" part-timers BAILED out cos of sm $$ issues.. crap.. so.. I had to work.. n later today as well.. FULL DAY.. I shouldn't have told alan 'whatever' when he asked if I wanted to work in the morning.. cos I was only "scheduled" at nite.. actually.. I wasn't even scheduled for the week cos of those 2 ppl!!!! Ok.. due to my extreme intelligence.. I told alan 'whatever' n he put me to work in the morning.. at 11 am.. ARGH!!! Sigh.. n I thot I could relax.. :(

Alan gt cheated of $160 yest.. sm lady claiming to be Ms Soh frm our main office called n told alan tt she was coming down with her cousin or smtg.. to celebrate a b'day.. then she asked him to help her pack a $160 ang bao for her cousin cos she might nt be able to make it down on time for the mtg.. the venue was then changed frm Renn Thai to Angus House.. n aft a while, tt lady left.. so Alan was conned of his money.. sigh.. he only found out when he called the real Ms Soh.. sigh..

Ooo.. haha.. Nat came down to meet me at taka to carry all my stuff back to her house for me.. :) thx a lot! else I had to carry a bag pack n a guitar.. n do u have ANY IDEA how HEAVY tt'll be?!? Chris dropped by as well n I was.. hmm.. surprised.. cos he's working n all.. so I didn't expect.. bt.. yah.. n he's sick.. AGAIN.. tt's sm lousy guy.. :P

I injured myself quite a bit at the chalet.. sigh.. I.. literally peeled off the skin frm my forefinger with my thumb.. n gt an incision wound on my thumb cos of washing the tongs.. sigh.. n all of these wounds r on my left hand.. I had a hard time working today.. cos I couldn't even hold a pen properly.. much less carry plates.. sigh.. cannot use chopsticks properly as well.. bt it's still better than someone whose chi is.. hmm.. bad? no.. tt's an understatement.. it's.. worst than atrocious.. :P

The guys in the restaurant today r quite.. strange.. there're these few tables of guys who kept teasing me.. sigh.. one table consists of 2 china guys n 1 american chi guy.. kept me there for a long time to take their order then asked if I could take a photo with tt american chi guy.. then this other table with 3 locals.. dunno what's wrong with them.. oso kept teasing me.. n another table with yet another 3 guys who asked if I spoke thai.. n then teased me.. ARGH.. oh.. n this table of 4.. refused me serving.. n.. well juz acted weird.. n teased me AGAIN.. then this interesting table.. 4 ppl.. 3 guys.. 1 gal.. Ah.. at least this is one guy who managed to guess my age correctly.. :) bt.. when he left.. he said.. "Nxt time I bring my sons here to see u.." (-_-" Dunno what in the world's happening.. prob I gt up on the wrong side of the bed.. wait a min.. I didn't SLP!!! What's happening?!? Sigh.. madness...

I think tt's abt all.. will update again.. IF I rmb anything.. ooo.. I rmb.. haha.. I saw a bunch of Xinminians at downtown east.. Dunno if it's a class event.. hmm.. nt my prob exactly.. haha.. When am I going back to take my 'O' lvl cert?!? Sigh...

Since I won't be on the com for the next 2 days, I've decided to blog now.. haha..

Yest's entry was v short.. yeah.. cos I left out quite a few details..

The reason y we couldn't go to Steven's plc is cos he didn't give us his add.. he only told us lvl 8.. bt didn't give us a blk or a door no.. so we were restricted frm entering..

Dar, Yang hong n I went back to Bishan frm Steven's plc to collect the puzzle.. it's quite nice.. the puzzle is made frm a neoprint tt EH n dar took together..

Jessie (Qing Nan's gf) was at his plc when we reached there.. sigh.. seemed like we were intruding upon ppl bt.. they were nice.. Jessie actually willingly "lended" Qing Nan to us.. n Qing Nan opened his house for us.. nice.. :)

This b'day of his is really well planned.. I dunno how long I'm going to stay cos.. well.. the only person tt I can really communicate with is dar.. n this is her bf's b'day "party".. so.. I suppose she wun be paying me much attn.. so I'd prob be there in a corner.. whatever.. I'm used to it anyway...

Bye ppl.. see u all in 2 days time.. I suppose.. haha.. Muz miss me! Like anyone will really do.. :P

I'm v tired.. n blogger's changed again! Wow.. haha..

Today, I went out with dar.. went to Bishan to meet yang hong.. then went to yishun to meet up with Kai Lin.. aft tt, we headed to Steven's plc.. tt was literally a wild goose chase cos he wasn't in.. n.. the 3 of us gals had to head to Qing Nan's plc.. where we managed to bake our cake n cookies.. haha.. nice.. it was a sponge cake.. n chocolate chip cookies..

Dar went hm.. well.. I'll be seeing her tmr.. when I go for the chalet.. EH's b'day chalet.. sigh.. dunno how long I'd be staying bt I suppose I'd stay for the 2 nitez.. I dun have to hang out with them.. yah.. I dun suppose I have to.. I'll juz mind my own business..

Dar's staying over.. :) okok.. I went out.. then met up with nat, bida n jon.. went to cine(with Kai Lin as well).. saw a whole bunch of last yr's 4T2 ppl.. including Patrick.. anyway.. we took neoprint.. VERY nice.. :)

Ok.. then we went to Marina Bay n the 3 of them had to leave.. so dar n I went to Toa Payoh for dinner.. had KFC.. haha.. ok.. I saw smtg.. tt had great impact.. no.. actually.. I was STUNNED.. I saw.. Ng Wee Kiat together with Yolanda!!! Like.. hello.. they were holding hands.. n broke apart IMMEDIATELY aft they saw me.. sigh.. dunno how they gt to know each other.. it's nt really my prob anyway.. We went outside aft tt.. n heard a crude song.. sm "b'day" song.. smtg like.. Oh y r u born on this day.. y r u born at all? U're no *****y gd to anyone.. u're no *****y gd at all.. SOOOO crude.. sigh..

Came hm aft tt.. celebrated my sis, crystal's b'day early.. my dad bought pizza.. quite nice.. :)

My sisters.. sigh.. bugging us to go to slp.. when we're nt exactly tired.. n it's nt v possible for us to slp cos.. it's juz nt v possible.. :P

Tt guang de is getting on my nerves.. he's gt a GD way of making goose pimples blossom.. ewwww..

Juz back.. went to my maternal grandparents plc today aft work..

Today's sermon was gd.. on "abstaining frm fornication".. Fornication.. is an illicit sexual intercourse.. to abstain is to hold one's self off or to refrain.. n.. tt it's impt to preserve both our bodies n souls pure n holy cos they're temples of the Holy Ghost.. so we're forbidden frm all unchaste actions, gestures, words, thots, desires, and whatever can entice men thereto.. so.. we should all ABSTAIN.. we muz appreciate our body.. cos.. we're all responsible for what we do..

Wow.. the stuff these 2 days seem to have a direct impact on me.. yah.. 1st was the bs yest.. struggling within urself.. today is this.. wow.. now I see.. tt nt everytime things r "like tt".. messages n BS do cater to u.. at different pts of ur life.. u should listen..

I feel tt I'm.. confused.. I juz did smtg w/o asking God.. n.. like what Pastor said.. if we wanna do smtg.. if we think tt it's ok.. y can't we pray abt it? I wasn't thinking.. wasn't asking.. juz jumped into it.. so I'm in a dilemma.. I feel so afraid.. n I can come up with a hundred n one reasons.. haha.. tt's like SOOOO ME.. :P

Dear.. I dunno what I'm doing.. I dunno y I said what I did.. n I think I'm really causing u to worry.. I'm sorry.. really am.. maybe I shouldn't have done anything.. maybe it'd be better if u'd continue on ur own.. maybe I'm juz nt suitable to be there for u.. maybe u should juz leave me the way I am..

Check this out.. it's really nice.. bt sad.. it oso happens..
Link

Hi.. Went to work today.. gt lots to write.. lotsa stuff tt I've been thinking abt today..

Dear.. if u're reading this.. juz read on..

Should I accept another person into my life? I dunno.. maybe it's cos I'm used to singlehood.. maybe 11 over mths is long.. I.. dunno y I feel insecure.. even when there's smone there.. I still feel this way.. cos I prob dun wanna be hurt.. cos I still cannot get over it.. I've still nt healed.. n I guess I nv will.. bt if tt's going to hinder me to trust others.. I guess I'll prob remain like this for the rest of my life..

I'm sorry for appearing inconfident.. sorry for being this way.. sorry for being me..

Think I'm weak yet? Haha.. prob I'm juz gd at portraying it.. cos I'm nt.. if I am.. I guess I wun be able to last till now.. I would have found someone else soon aft he broke with me.. bt.. I won't deny tt at times I do appear weak.. I will nt..

This time.. I've gotta admit tt I'm afraid.. scared.. I dun want things to repeat.. dun want history to happen again.. nt now.. nt ever.. cos I know how it works.. I know how painful it can get.. I know.. who'd hurt.. n the extent of it..

Seems like I'm nt trusting u again God.. sigh.. brings me back to the BS we had today.. yest I mean.. on the topic "struggling within me" this particular verse frm Romans 7.. vs 19.. "For that good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do" Seems the same here.. it's so hard to juz trust.. I would want to.. bt tt I don't do.. it's human to worry although I dun want to.. I still do it.. God.. help me..

Juz finished BS work.. haha.. I didn't slp the whole of yest.. so I'm tired now.. sigh..

Went out.. frm morning till nite.. went out for breakfast.. then went to Marine Parade.. East Coast there.. rotted there for almost the whole day.. found out tt the whole world's looking for me.. cos when I went to check my hp.. there were 12 missed calls.. sigh.. nt my fault.. my hp wasn't on me.. Renn Thai, Dar, Nat, Zhaoz, hm... all called.. freaky.. haha..

Rushed down to work.. took a taxi.. sigh.. it was SOOO EX.. sigh.. n worked.. tired.. my legs literally turned to jelly cos they were trembling.. today was a bz day.. lotsa ppl.. sales almost hit 6k today.. high huh.. ooo.. I gt a job offer as well.. this guy offered me a job at Crown Prince hotel.. he told me tt I could call him if I wanted the job.. cool.. :P

Yawnz.. eyes closing.. it's a wonder I didn't slp.. many things going thru my mind.. really.. lots..

Hello.. juz gt on the com.. :P

Worked whole day today.. then went to Far East in the aftnn.. bought a pair of jeans.. quite cool.. bt quite ex.. cos I had to get it amended as well.. it was TOOOO LONG.. haha..

EH came to fetch Dar today.. so I left with Kai Lin..

The last table for today was this interesting couple.. this 2 guys.. one eng.. the other one is prob chi.. then the eng guy told me tt the chi guy wanted to date me out to a Disco.. Velvet.. then I was like.. I couldn't go.. didn't want to.. he asked y I couldn't.. then I told him tt I was underage.. n he asked me how old.. so.. I asked him how old he think I am.. he said tt I look 21.. I was like.. um.. I'm 17 this yr.. he STARED at me.. n said.. I think it's ur uniform.. u look mature.. haha.. rite.. I look old.. juz tell it straight to me.. I know.. haha..

Robin posted this email to me.. I'll attach sm pics.. :)



This will be a nice picture for a road huh.. beside the fact tt the leaves look nice.. haha..



Cool rite? Looks like rapids on an iceberg..



Eiffel Tower!!! Where? Paris??? sigh... so nice...



I suppose these are the swiss alps.. with their reflection in the lake beneath.. calming..



Shooting star in the sky on top of a lake.. Beautiful..


I wish I were able to travel n to see a these picturesque sights.. so wonderful...

I felt the sense of loneliness again.. this time.. it's a total new sense of it.. smhow.. it's a different type of it.. sigh.. dunno what's my feelings r telling me.. they seem to be getting worst.. God.. help me.. control my emotions..

I feel SOOOO hypocritical.. on one hand.. I'm here feeling the way I am.. n on the other I'm trying to help my fren with her prob.. the same feeling.. I.. sigh.. I dunno..

At times.. I really do feel tt I'm nt a gd person.. yeah.. I know tt u juz told me today tt I'm a nice person.. bt.. I dun believe it.. sorry.. sorry for nt having the confidence.. sorry for being the way I am.. prob this is the only way I can carry on.. prob tt's y I felt the way I was feeling.. the way I'm feeling.. cos maybe.. this is the way I'll carry on for the rest of my life..

If u ppl think tt I'm starting to sound despondent.. maybe I am.. maybe it's cos too many things have been happening in my life.. maybe it's cos I've finally "gained enlightenment".. maybe it's cos I'm still stuck to him.. maybe it's cos I've let him go.. maybe it's cos he's still a part of my life.. maybe it's cos he has been a part of my life.. maybe..

If we were still together.. yest would have been a memorable day.. it would have been 1 yr.. time passes so fast.. now.. in 1 more mth.. it'll be 1 yr.. for me.. 1 day b4 tt will be 1 yr.. for them.. n I didn't even realise.. until nurul reminded me.. hmm.. dunno what tt's supposed to mean.. probably.. juz maybe.. I'm walking out.. bt I dunno.. it's juz.. MAYBE...

I went out today.. went to PS to watch Harry Potter again.. then went to eat Roti Prata smwhere near Paradiz Centre.. then.. hmmm.. cannot rmb.. haha.. oh.. went to Sim Lim Sq for a while.. then went to sm block to rest b4 heading back to douby ghaut to take an mrt down to Marina Bay..

Met Dar.. went to eat there again.. then.. tt's abt it.. haha..

Juz reached hm nt so long ago.. oh.. on my way back, Guang De called.. then he said sm stuff.. n.. he's smoking.. sigh.. asked him nt to.. n he told me tt he'll only listen to me if.. I be his gf.. sigh.. up to him.. tt I wun be able to help him..

Hi! Didn't gt to blog yest cos my bros were HOGGING onto the com.. sigh.. hmm.. what did I do yest? I went to sch.. yah.. NP.. was there for sm convention.. which I could say was BORING.. the only things I really appreciated was the 2 guitar pieces, the sign language song No One Even Comes Close by the Hearing Impaired Club n the guy frm Song Composing Club who sang a chi song Ai Qing You Xi (Game Of Love).. His voice is wonderful.. it's VERY GD!!! :P Aft tt, Dar n I went to PS to look for Barbara.. well.. u can guess.. haha.. so.. guess.. ;P

Went to work today.. juz reached hm nt so long ago.. ooo.. He's back! Shhh.. haha.. n.. Chris' out.. um.. I'll be going out tmr.. my fever's subsided.. n.. tt's abt it.. haha..

I'm sick! v sick in fact.. my temp ranges frm 38.3 when I woke up this morning to the present temp of 39.8, 40.2.. sigh.. didn't go to church today cos I really couldn't get up.. then zhaoz came @ ard 10 to bring me breakfast.. pork congee.. nt bad.. haha.. aft tt.. I continued impersonating a pig.. till 2+ when my parents came back.. aft tt.. I ate med.. slpt.. juz woke up.. waiting for my food although I'm nt exactly hungry bt.. I'm sick.. I've no say in this matter.. haha..

Back frm KS.. went to Justus', Reb & Matt's plc.. had bbq dinner there n BS.. the BS was gd.. learnt a lot.. dinner was quite little.. bt.. I'm sick so I didn't really bother..

Yes.. I'm sick.. as in really ill.. my nose's flowing like a broken tap.. I've got a sore throat.. n.. I'm having a slight fever.. yah.. was 37.3 when I took it.. so.. I guess it isn't tt bad.. I will be going for camp tmr.. then .. I'm ill.. :P.. dunno how I'm supposed to go.. sigh.. bt.. I guess I'll go..

Nat'll be going to Genting tmr morning.. coming back on tue.. so.. hope u enjoy urself dearie..

I juz gt home.. haha.. it's abt 4.10am now.. :P..

Yest, I worked.. yeah.. n I gt my pay.. $400++.. bt I'm nt v rich..
I went out to K Box with Agus. Raymond n Dav.. then we left at abt 3.. so.. I reached hm now.. haha.. I'm nt exactly v tired.. bt I suppose I should slp too yah?

Yest, I went to meet dar b4 I went to work.. meet her at J8's newly opened Yoshinoya.. man.. the service there is VERY slow!!! We waited a LOONNNGGGG time for our gyoza which came aft we finished our meal.. sigh..

Told Alan tt we might quit by the end of the mth.. well.. actually we dunno yet.. bt. I guess we might quit v soon.. what's the pt of waiting.. n working for a company which doesn't appreciate us??? what's the pt of working in a restaurant with ppl who back-stab when I treat them well? I didn't talk to Poh Wan the whole day.. even when I was in the toilet with her.. wow.. tt's kinda.. hmmm.. I dunno..

Oh.. I forgot.. I saw NWK @ Toa Payoh tt day when I went there with Dar n kor.. he was there with his fren.. saw them at the arcade.. n.. he claims tt tt fren of his is ZYH! Hmm.. wasn't really paying attn.. haha.. whatever.. it doesn't really concern me..

Hello.. juz came back frm work.. I went out with dar to watch Harry Potter today.. at first we were supposed to meet at J8 at 145.. bt she was late.. there were shows at 230, 315 n 330.. when I wanted to purchase the tickets, the ones for 230 only have single seats n those for 315 r left with the front rows.. so.. we didn't watch at J8.. instead, we went down to Toa Payoh to catch the 230 show.. we sat in the 3rd row frm the front.. cos the rest r packed.. what can u say? It's a popular show.. it's the hols now.. n it opens today..

Aft tt, we had our dinner at the pao pao cha guan tt's downstairs.. had taiwan dumplings (guo tie), steamed dumplings n peach shake.. yeah.. shared.. so tt was all we had..

Went down to work frm there.. today's the 1st day I gt to work with yang hong aka Jeslyn.. so.. yah.. today's Poh Wan's off day so Jason didn't say much against me.. I wasn't tt cold to them today.. bt.. there's always tmr.. haha..

It's 4 am.. n we're still at it.. God.. help me.. help him..

I'm soooo sorry.. I didn't know tt I make such a big impact.. I didn't know tt u'd hoped so much.. I'm sorry.. I know tt u'd nv be able to read this.. bt.. I'm really sorry for nt trying.. bt I dun dare.. I'm sorry.. pls forgive me..

I'm having sm kinda "religious talk" with guang de.. man.. this is really a test of my faith n my knowledge.. it's the test of.. endurance n.. it in a way tests everything tt I know.. everything tt I've learnt frm my infancy.. it touches the raw nerve of everything tt I believe in.. he keeps asking qns tt I find hard to ans.. I'm so sure tt it's God's way of testing me to see what I believe in.. bt I hope tt I'll nt give wrong ans.. tt God'll use me as an instrument to help ppl see the light.. tt I'll be a gd testimony.. God.. help me..

Yoz! Juz back.. haha.. ok..

Today @ work, I didn't talk to Poh Wan or Jason AT ALL.. I know tt it shows tt I've gt smtg against them bt.. u think I care?!? I dun.. n I think I might be quitting.. real soon.. I'll see abt tt..

Went to meet Zhaoz aft tt.. talked for a while.. ok.. is quite a while.. had apple n aloe vera juice.. n.. fresh cream in strawberry.. mmmm... :)

Will update more when I've gt time..

Hey! I went out the whole day.. 1st I went out with my kor.. had breakfast.. then went to meet dar at toa payoh.. we had Sakae over @ Toa Payoh entertainment centre.. then kor went back.. dar n I talked.. found out smtg.. ppl in Renn Thai r back-stabbing me.. this is CRAP.. they actually think tt I'm nt giving my best.. tt I'm showing attitude.. tt I'm acting big.. man.. this is getting real stressed.. I'm giving my best yet ppl r doing this to me.. CRAP!

Aft tt, we went down to amk.. met up with sian meng, kelvin n Qing Nan.. went to pao pao cha guan.. then sat there for a long time.. talked.. n.. yah.. tt's abt it.. juz reached hm nt long ago.. Davinline juz asked me to go out.. sigh.. dunno how.. I dun think I can though.. sigh.. dunno lah.. stress..