Ok.. came back nt so long ago..

Today, I skipped my lectures to go back to XMS to see the tchrs.. ok.. nt only me.. frm NP.. lotsa ppl skipped.. Dar, Benny, Leng Yeow, Sheng Da, Matthew, Wei An, Wee Kian, Rena, Cheng Cheng, Xiu Ling n 2 of her frenz, Lang Yuan, Zi Qing... quite a bunch huh.. Guang De oso skipped his lessons at SP.. I'm nt sure abt apple n Raymond though.. prob they skipped too.. Chin Pei, Jing Lin, Edmund came down aft lessons.. sigh.. I miss them SOOOO much.. I miss life in XMS.. Miss my class.. a lot.. XMS is still the best..

The tchrs' day celebration was quite ok.. there was this Xinmin idol.. where there was a panel of judges n other tchrs acting as idol-wannabes.. I only saw frm Chee onwards.. Chee rapped Lemon Tree.. haha.. n Joseph Lim commented tt he danced as though his pants is too tight.. :P then it was Low Ai Na.. she was wearing XMS sch uniform.. n sang the sch song.. then she sang "she bangs".. (-_-"

There was a song dedication.. Top of the world.. frm all the tchrs.. then the sec 4 tchrs dedicated a song to the graduating classes.. Xiao Wei.. haha.. it's quite cool.. Choo was playing the guitar (as usual) ;)

Aft tt, dar n I went to the staff rm n talked to many tchrs.. I took pics with my class.. many ppl came.. only.. Nurul, Nana n Kun Jian weren't there.. left sch at ard 3.. then went ard S'pore.. ended at Toa Payoh eating Sakae.. then went down to Barbara's.. Dar made her hair.. yeah.. highlighted a portion of her hair another colour.. quite cool.. I did treatment.. had to.. my hair's like grass..

Ooo.. b4 we ended up at Toa Payoh.. we were actually at PS.. then.. we saw Pat Pat n another gal walk in.. apparently they were going to watch a movie.. I was commenting.. n pat pat said tt I was quite retard.. like I was only reading the poster.. "Catch life by the balls - dodgeball"

Then I came home.. on the bus ride back frm Bishan I saw a bunch of guys.. who kept commenting.. sigh.. I dunno what's wrong.. they kept staring n staring n staring.. I thot their eyeballs were abt to drop out.. then one of the guys shift to the back in hope tt I'll sit at tt empty seat.. FAT HOPE.. I didn't..

It's 12am now.. I dunno y in the world I've gotta go sch tmr.. sigh..

Anyway...

Happy Teachers Day.. my dear tchrs.. u're the best!

Love u! Rock On!

Ok.. juz came back nt so long ago frm my drinking session at hp.. haha.. this time.. it's my parents.. dun worry.. I didn't drink much.. juz 1 bottle of tiger tt's all..

Sch today.. sigh.. so hard to keep awake.. zzzz

Gt back econs test paper.. tt Lloyd.. keep saying tt he'll fail was actually the top scorer for the class!!! Irritating.. I gt an A.. 82.. muz work hard.. sigh..

Skipped HI club today.. went for BS.. then went to mambo.. came hm.. tt's abt it.. sigh.. so tired..

Ok.. I'm getting more apprehensive of ZW.. he seems to be getting closer.. he.. um.. grabbed my leg today.. I know he was juz playing.. bt he did.. yah.. at mambo.. n he.. argh.. dun remind me.. it's a nightmare.. muz keep him AWAY..

Someone say tt I am proud n confident.. tt when things fail, I wun leave it as tt bt solve it.. tt I like to act cool.. tt I try to put on masks bt it's unprofitable..

Dino Koh Wen Zhu.. who in the world do u think u are.. commenting on me the way u did.. thx for ur comments.. bt I did nt ask u to comment on me..

U asked me to be humble.. said tt I'm proud.. said tt I'll piss someone off eventually n he'll mentally strip me.. leaving me to feel weak..

My friend.. I was juz trying to be nice n help u..

U said tt I like challenges, tt my life is full of competitions, tt I'm quite strong, tt my perseverance lvl is quite high..

Oh PLEASE! If u do nt know me.. dun try to act as though u do..

U know what I think? Beside u saying in a round abt manner tt u're an egoistic freak who does nt listen to comments or advice frm what u define as 'weaker' than u, u oso claim tt u're weak.. u ask me qns tt u expect me nt to know.. like.. do i know y u're doing what u're doing.. do u think I freaking care? I only care cos u're a fren.. thx so much for the appreciation u ungrateful brat.. n.. I can tell u.. u're doing what u're doing cos u hope tt she'll know.. tt she'll see cos u do not have the courage to face her urself.. if u wanna call her.. juz call.. if u wanna sms her.. juz sms.. n if u think tt she'll feel stressed if u do so.. then dun think.. n.. I oso know tt u want a serious, stable rlsp of ur own.. if u want.. go find.. I'm nt stopping u.. as u've said.. the 1st qns u should ask is whether she minds being a substitute.. GO ahead.. it's nt my prob ANYWAY..

If I pissed u off.. I'm glad.. cos in a way, u piss me off too.. bt if cos of tt, u're mentally stripping me.. I can only say tt u're a maniac. N if u think tt u can succeed in making me feel weak... think harder..

Ok.. I received a SMS for tmr's campus BS.. then.. I received another SMS to go for HI! Club.. wonderful.. the 1st is at 5.. the nxt at 5.30.. like so how?

Went to church.. there wasn't any lessons today.. KSS went to Lower Pierce Reservoir for our picnic.. was quite cool.. aft tt, I went down to Compasspt with nat to make my necklace.. it costs $10 to solder the gold back... argh.. bt who cares.. what's $10 as compared to the necklace or to the value of it...

He's fine.. bt he's falling ill.. getting a flu.. n u know what? He said tt no one could take care of him except himself... said tt even she couldn't take care of him.. much less me.. well.. y in the world muz he take her to compare with me.. sigh...

I wanna thank... zhaoz, hun, sayang n dar for staying up with me last nite.. when I was worrying.. thx a lot.. love u ppl..

Aft the trip to compass, I went to J8 to meet dar.. we had pastamania.. I had a rich n creamy chicken sausage pasta.. n she had a country style baked pasta.. it was SOOO filling..

Met Xian Xiang aft tt.. I was like abusing him.. sigh.. then I went to dar's plc..

Tt's abt it..

Freak! Whatever I posted is gone.. Grrrrr...

As I was saying.. or blogging.. I was out the whole day..

Went to HP to do as much econs tutorial as possible.. it was on production n costs.. I was at KFC.. my family was at Mac.. I didn't even meet them at all.. haha..

Then I went to HM.. saw Wen Zhu there.. talked a while.. then I left to meet dar..

Went to eat.. then went to mac to sit n talk b4 proceeding to her plc to watch the movie "Honey".. she's So HOT!!!

Aft tt... my necklace broke.. I.. Prob I tugged at it too hard.. prob my hair tangled with it.. I still refuse to believe tt it broke on its own..

I called the hp.. no ans.. msged.. no reply.. called the home.. nt hm.. I dunno.. pls... God.. pls dun let anything happen.. pls..

I penned a little smtg at KFC aft I heard the song My Immortal.. here goes..

What hurts more?
Tears that flow?
Or tears that do not?

Which aches more?
Your pain?
Or the pain of a loved one?

Looking at reality,
Some running from it,
Others facing it.

It's hard to let go...
It's hard to forget...

I'll never leave...
I'll be there to support you in
everything that you do...
I promise...

I seal this promise
With my heart...
I'll always be here for you...

Oh... I did this who in final fantasy are u quiz.. guess who am I...


Which Final Fantasy Girl are you?

Haha..

God.. pls help me nt to worry.. grant me a peace of heart and mind.. let nth bad befall.. pls..

Btw.. for tt poem.. I was referring to no one in particular.. juz.. you.. whoever you may be..

Hi! Yes I'm early.. dun start..

I was watching "Flame Of Recca" b4 this.. it's an anime..

N b4 tt, I was at the minimart with him.. heard sm stuff tt I didn't really wanna hear.. he said tt he was playing the field.. tt he would nt be serious n all those.. I know tt he's been hurt v badly.. I can see tt.. can feel the pain too.. bt when he said those words.. I didn't know who hurt more.. him, or me.. sigh.. guess I'm still weak.. v weak.. I told dar tt besides her.. he was the only one who could make me cry.. prob it's true.. I could feel tears glistening.. at least they managed to pass the eye..

Ooo.. Ken sent me hm.. on his bike.. COOL! :P I dunno how old he is.. 20+ I guess.. he's one of the fellow workers with him at the minimart.. He smokes A LOT! For gdness!!! I was there for abt.. 2 hrs.. he seemed to smoke a stick every 10 - 15 mins! When asked.. he said "I only smoke 2 pkts a day" Like.. it's alr a lot... his gf gt influenced by him to smoke as well.. sigh..

Even b4 tt, I was at orchard with AK, ZW n dar.. AK wanted to get a prezzie for his fren.. Ron Tan I think.. so we went frm Pacific plaza, to far east for dinner then gt the prezzie at paragon..

Ok.. nth much b4 tt.. juz the "wonderful" CIP test in which I guessed all the ans.. for gdness.. it was an essay paper.. nth much I could choose frm.. I think I'm going to fail.. :S

N the main topic of the day?!? The BREAKUP.. yes.. the breakup..

Nat called me.. she told me how she felt abt him.. n all.. asked me for advice.. n so they broke up.. rather.. she broke up with him..

He called me.. n asked me if I knew.. told me how he felt.. I could feel how he feels.. bt I still think he should be more.. in touch with other ppl's feelings..

Sayang.. dun jump into another rlsp again k.. it's v stressful for me.. if u're ready.. go into one.. n jump into one.. when the hole is SOOO obvious.. n SOOO big..

Yes yes.. I didn't blog yest.. n I shall nt bother to explain y I wasn't online as well..

Yest was quite a bad day.. 1st dar n I went to mac.. then we saw this bunch of ACS(B) guys who seemed as though they've nv seen gals their whole life.. cos they were taking out a camera phone n taking pics.. (-_-"
Then, we went to Mambo for pool.. when we were abt to leave.. a bunch of guys came in.. they were blocking the way.. so we juz stood there.. they did give way.. I was standing outside the toilet waiting for dar to come out.. then the guys kept commenting on I dunno what.. aft tt when they were supposed to choose a table.. they pointed str in the direction tt I was in.. when we left.. they were like.. "Bao bei.. qu na li?" (Where r u going)
Went to sch aft tt.. went to the library.. 5th floor.. when we walked ard, so many ppl were staring.. whatever.. then when we were leaving, there was this rm of guys who saw us then they were like, "Hey sexy.. walk in, walk in"

What in the world's wrong with the guys yest?!?

Aft tt was test.. MIEC.. it was ok.. considering the fact tt I went for Ms V's review lesson which had a test paper tt was SIMILAR to the one tt we took.. :D

Went to play pool once more aft tt..

I'm still at home.. I've nt finish studying my CIP (I'm gonna die).. my test is in.. 3 hrs time.. haha.. I've gtg..

Searching..
for smtg I've lost.

Longing..
for smtg I dunno of.

Hoping..
to find what I need.

Thinking..
of what I should..
n should nt.

Hurting..
myself..
n others as well.

What am I doing..?

ps. I'm sorry if I've hurt u in any way.. I'm so sorry.. (u should know who u are)

Back.. been back for a while now.. was listening to PM Lee's extremely long speech.. ok.. the extract of it.. the speech is.. long-winded.. bt.. funny.. :)

Had test today.. BSTATS test.. supposed to be an ez test.. 25 mcqs.. 1 hr.. bt I took an extremely LOONNNGGGG time to complete it.. I was only near the last 5 qns when I had only 5 mins left!!!

Aft tt, went hm.. took my stuff.. went to pass soup to kor.. oh yah.. passed the soup to dar aft the test.. anyway.. passed soup to kor.. then saw Wen Zhu when I was boarding the bus headed to HM.. so I msged nat to call me..

Apparently.. she had a fun-filled day.. he's seen Gu ma.. she's been to his plc.. they've.. I shall nt say.. they've been ice-skating.. Ok.. I know tt I've said this SO many times.. bt I really think they're moving V fast.. I know I'm in no rite to comment.. I know..

Aft tt, met dar at hans.. had dinner.. did a bit of studying.. the rain was pouring.. this gal came up to us to ask us for our nos.. ok.. there was a bunch of butches sitting outside mac.. then dar n I went in to mac to use the toilet.. one of them was in the toilet.. aft using the toilet.. we stepped outside n were discussing how to get to the interchange as dry as possible.. we were like standing in front of them.. I could hear them commenting.. bt I didn't bother.. so we crossed over to the coffee shop.. then one of the gal came over n asked for our nos.. man.. I'm starting to think if I look like a les to them..

Nat looks happy.. ok.. she sounds happy.. gd for u sayang.. gd..

Dar.. if.. as n when whatever u know happens.. I'll be here.. dun worry..

Do u know tt I really envy u.. u can give up on him n yet when u need help.. like to sponser sm drinks for sm proj of urs.. sm restaurant thingy.. n u look for him, he's so willing to use his dad's company to help u.. n u didn't know how to cherish him?!? What's the pt of saying tt u're sad? what's the use of saying tt u dun dare look at the sky cos it reminds u of him???

Y can't sm ppl cherish what they have? Y r sm ppl so selfish?? Y r those who can cherish the ppl who suffer the most???

Your soul is bound to the White Rose: The
Pure.
"I've been waiting in the dark for a long
time, shining my beacon of hope through the
shadow. If you see me, don't you hide your
eyes from me."
The White Rose is associated with purity, honor,
and chastity. It is governed by the goddess
Artemis and its sign is The Cross, or Agape.
As a White Rose, you are a person of your word.
You may have a strong moral code, but
regardless of your virtue, you always stay true
to yourself. To you, love is the most pure of
emotional forms and it's just a matter of
waiting for it to bless you. Some people may
say you are too idealistic, but it's only
because you don't want to mess things up.

What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla

---------------------------------------------------


You have White Wings! Pure and innocent, your
kindness attracts other people toward you. You
can be shy and quite, but when others know you
better, they realize you are fun and bubbly.
You hate it when other around you are sad, and
always see the good in everyone and everything.
Chances are you either help in the shelter, or
are a tutor in school. You are very kind and
friendly, but also quite nave. Dont be fooled
by looks. Some things do go bump in the night.


What Color are your wings?(Mainly for Girls)Beautiful Pix!
brought to you by Quizilla

---------------------------------------------------

True???

I woke up quite late.. yah.. then I went down to Taka to look for Dar n andrew who juz finished their "Secret Window" nt so long b4 I arrived..

We went to Wisma cos Andrew wanted to check out sm stuff at Flash n Splash.. I saw Zhi Jian at the coffee club tt's in front of it.. he seemed quite surprised to see me there.. I was relatively shocked too.. haha.. bt a pleasant surprise n shock.. :)

Aft tt we went to meet Ms V.. did sm revision.. haha.. she said "the BK at Liat Towers".. do u know where it is? It's actually the BK tt's near BORDERS.. haha.. okok..

I'll be having BSTATS test later in the day.. n I still have 2-3 chapts tt I'm nt sure abt! Sigh.. God help me trust in U.. Help me to see tt whatever happens it for my benefit..

wow.. the last time I've touched the devotion bk was the 3rd July.. tt's.. more than a mth ago.. oh wait.. maybe I wasn't the one who moved the bookmark..

Has it been tt long?

I've really been out of touch with God..

Here I am
sitting..
staring aimlessly at the screen
eyes..
red, tired
mind..
exhausted
body..
worn out

God..
I know tt I shouldn't ask
where u r..
cos u've always been here..

I thought I could..
I failed..
horribly..
terribly..
incorrigibly..

Mind clouded..
Heart pain once again..
Y?

All cos...
I didn't trust..

I'm sorry..

I'm talking to NWK.. dunno.. he suddenly msged me.. said smtg abt him feeling lost.. wanting to get out of this dark abyss.. sounds so familiar... so so familiar...

I'll cover tt later..

Went to Bugis to meet Clement.. then waited for dar to come.. we went to return our uniform.. went PS to catch catwoman, which is a great show..

I burnt my hand today.. against the hot pan.. apple crumble pan at Swensens.. ouch.. think there might be a scar.. trademark of Swensens.. haha..

Went to the arcade aft tt.. then went back.. first stopped at Bishan.. wanted to walk-in to pastamania for an interview bt decided against it.. we'll see abt tt again..

Ok.. back to tt topic.. tt all so familiar topic..

I kinda wish tt I need nt hafta touch on the topic again..

This time.. I think I'm the.. no.. I'm sure I'm the one who caused it.. I'm so sorry.. I didn't mean it... I know how it feels.. n u juz dun wanna tell me.. I know tt u think tt even if u said it, it'll be of no use cos u alr know the ans.. my dear.. u juz hafta.. let go.. I'll always be here as a fren..

I watched Pretear (jap anime) b4 this.. I saw... Mawata.. I so feel like becoming like her.. tt's like an optimum state of being.. the closeness.. the feeling.. everything..

Suddenly I feel the way I was tt time.. 1 over yr ago.. yes.. I've stopped counting.. I dun bother to..

When I was coming back today.. I walked up the stairs.. suddenly felt v.. different.. almost lonely.. on the bus.. I suddenly wish there was someone with me.. I dunno.. prob the effects r taking toll..

Nat's attached.. u might think.. like tt's supposed to have any effect on me rite? WRONG.. he went down to fetch her today.. nice.. sweet.. they're advancing v fast.. I dunno if it's for the gd.. or nt.. juz hope she dun get hurt.. hope..

What in the world..

I shouldn't be losing my focus.. I should be focused on God.. n to fulfil my role as a student.. to study hard.. do well for Him..

I.. dunno what's happening!!!

I muz pray.. I muz.. oh God.. y didn't I trust U... :'(

I miss U.. I miss U in my life.. I miss the sense of security tt U gave me.. I wish I didn't go tt far.. I want U by my side again.. I want to return to U.. I want u in my life.. I.. I need U..

Ok... I've juz been thru Amy's webbie.. man.. she's CHIO! Sigh.. u should see.. there's this portfolio in which she's wearing this gorgeous looking wedding gown (if I'm nt wrong), n taking pics in different angles.. wow.. the wonders of pics, make-up n confidence.. tt's smtg I wun have.. or do for tt case..

Went out... watched a movie.. it's gd.. thrilling.. a little scary.. gd storyline.. great twist.. def value for money.. n now I sound like a movie critic.. or smone promoting a movie.. whatever.. u guys should catch the Secret Window..

Went to meet up with a fren..talked a little.. n tt's abt it..

Learnt abt Fighting the Good Fight of Faith in sunday lessons.. abt y the fight's gd.. how it's gd n all.. guess the main pt abt y I've been SOOOO stressed is cos I didn't trust.. I've been worrying too much.. taking things into my own hands.. which.. is nt gd.. tt.. I know..

God.. help me to trust.. help me to cast my wants n cares upon U.. help me to lean on Ur promises.. help me to walk abt U..

Yest I met up with everyone except Dennis.. ok.. so..

Met Lloyd @ Compass.. then nat came along.. aft a while Yi Zhao came n left for bball.. dar came..

Went down to AMK library to study aft tt.. at ard 6, we left..

All throughout the way.. the nat n lloyd were treating me like a cat.. I AM NT A CAT!!!

Met up with Wen Zhu.. brought Yi Zhao n Nat.. went to Coffee Bean.. had light stuff.. then nat n I had an apple strudle.. n tt's all..

Then the both of them had to go back.. so it's only Wen Zhu n me..

Went to the 2nd lvl of HP.. he seemed to have lotsa underlying meaning in the words he spoke to me.. like.. "Don't u think u should get a bf?", "Oh.. get one tt won't make u stressed.. one tt will make u happy..""My nxt gf will be smone frm XMS.. cos I seem to be hanging out alot with them recently..", "I like my gf to be smarter than me.. nt only academic..", "The prob with me is tt I didn't know how to cherish ppl.. now I know.."... n the list goes on... For me... I think tt he's trying to hint smtg to me.. juz tt I didn't give him the chance to ask..

The shock came to me this morning when I received nat's call.. she was like.. "Someone likes me.. it's smone frm our sch.. u know him.. I know him.. unexpected person.." n I guessed him.. BINGO! Then I was shocked.. she was like, "He spent a long time persuading me... yes, I like him... feelings can grow over time.." ok..

Sayang.. I'm telling u based on experience.. IF u're nt sure tt u really like him n can commit... PLS.. dun juz jump into it cos "I NEED smone there".. it doesn't work tt way.. I dun wan u to follow in my footsteps.. I dun want u to get hurt.. cos u oso hafta make sure tt he's committed to u.. n... well.. I've no rite to comment.. it's ur choice.. u're old enough to make ur own decisions.. juz dun get burnt k.. if u do.. come to me.. I'll help u.. promise.. shoulder's always here for u..

I've been home the whole day... yah.. v guai.. nv go out..

Later today, I'll be doing completing my BSTATS.. then I'll be going to study econs.. yes.. econs.. I've nt started on econs YET.. I've only finished 4 chpts of BSTATS in.. 3 days? Sigh...

Ok.. I'll be mtg Lloyd, nat, dar, Yi Zhao, maybe Dennis.. prob Wen Zhu.. yah.. wen zhu.. he dropped a msg into my frenster n asked me out for dinner later today.. I dunno.. maybe I wun be going.. he didn't even give me a time.. so.. how would I know rite?

Yes.. later.. the time now is 1:14am.. gd morning..

Ohaiyo gozaimasu!

My dad juz woke up nt so long ago n saw me sitting here.. n so I gt a scolding.. I dun get it.. he scolded me for lying to myself.. for caring too much for others.. for nt caring for myself.. n for nt having focus on my studies.. like I'm studying now.. n.. whatever.. I didn't ans him.. I know it's wrong in a way.. bt.. it's so early in the morning.. it'd be madness to quarrel with someone n wake the whole neighbourhood up..

My bro's alr outta the house.. I've gotta wake nat up in abt 1/2 hr's time.. I'm going to meet dar to study later.. hmm..

Ok.. u know what? I didn't go for kickboxing.. nope I didn't.. I was out.. I met up with him... Ill-treated him... sorry... I was stressed... I dunno what was happening.. I guess all I needed was someone there.. n he was there for me to.. um.. well.. sorry if I left holes.. it was really painful.. I saw it.. ouch.. sorry...

Today felt totally different.. he was different... I was different... we all were different.. the wonders of change.. smhow... I did nt feel the way I used to feel... is tt gd? or bad? What does it stand to show?

GD went to NP today.. to look for me.. or so he claims.. I think I believe him.. bt.. well.. he reached there only to find out tt we're having term break.. tt's.. sad.. bt.. it's nt my fault..

Can u juz tell me what's wrong? I... u feel weird this past 2 days... pls... if I've done anything wrong, juz tell me... if I haven't given u what u wanted.. juz say... dun treat me like this.. dun block me out.. don't think tt I can't feel it.. my feelings are still v acute.. dun treat me like this... pls... u say tt it's still the same.. tt u didn't change in the way u're treating me.. so is it the way I feel tt has changed? What's happening? Can't u juz say it?

Don't leave me like this...

I thought u were a fren.. ok.. u r.. bt u "bother" abt me only cos u see tt I'm a poor soul tt needs help? And u leave... until I'm willing to change..

My dear.. u've been thru this b4.. what makes u think tt I didn't.. cos I still am holding on to the feelings? If I do nt hold on to this.. if I dun hold on to the feelings.. I can say tt there'll be nth left in me.. I'm tired.. drained by everything tt's happening.. everything tt's ard.. this is the only most pure n precious thing tt I can hold on to...

I do NT wanna close myself up AGAIN.. cos tt was what happened when I let go of the feelings.. I was SOOOO Empty.. Void.. no one could reach me.. nt even them.. until I slowly, gradually start to open gaps.. it's nt ez for me to get to where n how I am now.. it took me lotsa time.. courage.. effort by me n dar.. n lotsa strength.. God's help.. Constant prayer.. tons of encouragement.. all this u do nt know.. n much more...

Everybody's past is different.. thus, we'll have varying perspective on what's happening.. on how to handle things..

If u dun wanna bother abt me anymore.. I wun blame u.. juz.. tc of urself.. dun isolate urself so..

He's hiding lotsa things.. I know.. I can feel.. I can see it frm.. I dunno.. frm the way he replies my SMSes.. frm.. the way he replies my MSN messages.. there're lotsa stuff on his mind.. stuff tt he'll only tell me when he's ready to..

What can I do???

I guess I can only...

Wait...

I've been looking for this song for a LOOONNNGGG time.. it's a v nice song frm Anna & the King.. I gt the lyrics by hearing.. so they might nt be accurate.. I think they're quite accurate though.. :P

How can I not love you - Joy Enriquez

Cannot touch, cannot hold
Cannot be together
Cannot love, cannot kiss
Cannot have each other

Must be strong
and we must let go
Cannot say what our hearts must know

Chorus
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you
Here in my heart
How does 1 walk away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you
When you are gone

Cannot dream, cannot share
Sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel, how we feel
Must pretend it's over

Must be brave
and we must go on
Must not say what we've known all along

Chorus

How can I not love you...

Must be brave
and we must be strong
Cannot say what we've know all along

Chorus

How can I not love you...
When you are gone...

I went down to look for dar n lloyd at woodlands library with nat n clement.. then we did our stuff.. nat had to leave early.. then dar met andrew.. we(clement, lloyd n I) coincidentally met the both of them at Yoshinoya.. had dinner there.. I went to MOS to buy strawberries.. then we went to play arcade.. dar spent a fortune there.. went hm aft tt..

Ok... so it's me.. I'm the one.. I dunno what's happening bt this is so NOT like me.. it's nt me.. I dunno.. I do nt wanna lose u.. I dun wanna lose anyone of u..

If u think tt I'm nt serious.. u can dig out my heart n check.. it's true.. the both of u.. besides my family tt is..

I've lost u b4.. I do nt wanna try it again.. I've lost the both of u b4.. pls.. do nt let me try it again.. it's torturous.. v painful..

Sorry if I was an a** today.. I really am sorry.. I dunno what I was thinking of.. really sorry..

Sigh.. the world's changing.. ppl's changing.. he's changing.. she's changing.. I dunno.. prob I'm changing so I think tt they're changing.. I dunno.. Difference in perspective.. different in EVERYTHING.. I dunno.. I so do NT wanna think abt it..

Juz leave me this way..

Hi.. I'm at cp's mac now.. yah.. I'm SUPPOSED to be studying.. bt with my lap top here.. I dun seem to be doing anything!!! Die... MUZ study.. I MUZ STUDY!!! :'( I cannot afford to fail...

Lloyd.. thx a lot.. :)

Lloyd helped me to make my webpage.. well.. it's still nt finished yet.. bt at least smtg's done.. I used the remote assistance thingy n gt him to help me.. wow.. cool.. :P

yoz.. at the mac oppo dar's plc now.. yah.. went to sch today.. went to settle my sch fees payment.. dun ask.. I'm nt in the mood to talk abt it..

I spent abt $20 juz to get to sch.. dun ask y..

Played pool aft tt.. was quite moody.. didn't really talk to anyone..

I dunno.. I feel like I'm getting more and more frustrated nowadays.. It's like I cannot control my emotions.. I need help.. I need to balance out..

GREAT! I haven't started studying yet.. ok.. I'll start tmr.. I HAVE TO START TMR!!!

I agree tt some.. ok.. maybe most of my worries with regards to rlsps r non-existant.. bt u wun know.. smtimes it's nt cos I dun want to.. it's cos they're aren't really all tt gd.. n.. well.. prob I'm juz still attached to him.. I guess tt's the main reason..

Nt attached as in attached.. bt attached as in the feelings r more or less still there.. I mean.. who can forget their first love? If u say tt u can, I admire u.. cos I can't.. esp when tt has left gd memories with u.. ok.. it'll def be harder to forget if tt has left bad memories..

To forget is to face it, accept it, then let go.. the more u try.. the harder it is to forget.. u think I dun know tt? I know.. I know v well..

I dunno abt u.. bt I'm getting tired of it.. I do nt want to be sm THING tt u can order ard.. if u think tt I'm like other gals.. u're DEAD WRONG.. cos I'm nt like other gals.. I've been pampered b4 n I know how it's like.. I will NOT compromise much.. dun think tt I'm ez to push ard cos I'm younger.. If u dun like me.. bug off.. if u like me bt u can't commit.. go away.. if u say tt u can do both, u're def nt doing it.. u said tt u dun like to drag.. sorry.. I think tt all I'm trying to do is to make sure what in the world I'm doing.. where in the world we're heading b4 doing anything abt it.. so.. can u do me a favour n DEFINE what's happening?!?

When I say "fine".. do u think I expect u to reply "fine"? Pls.. so WHAT if u're in a bad mood? Does tt give u the right to vent ur frustrations on me?!? I was being nice in talking to u.. do u have to do tt to me???

I hope tt this doesn't spoil our frenship or anything.. bt if it does.. it shows how weak our rlsp is.. n then I really dun see any pt in continuing in this kinda fragile rlsp..

Home.. actually have been home for a while alr..

I didn't do much today.. doing smtg bad now.. bt.. shhhh..

Mike's nice.. really nice.. he is even thinking of footing the 25% of the extra tt the loan doesn't cover.. so nice.. he doesn't have much bt he's trying.. well.. tt's how sm ppl are.. considerate.. caring for others..

Sm.. I dunno.. sm can pick up a quarrel with me cos he isn't feeling gd.. well.. there're differences in everyone.. u can't expect everyone to be the same can u..

I'm at Andrew's plc now.. went to do my loan thing today.. then came here.. I dun know what in the world I'm doing here cos he's going to leave at 5.. sigh.. I've gotta do my CIP.. hafta complete it by today..

I talked a lot to Lloyd this early morning.. gt to see his new wallpaper creation.. v nice.. :)

I've gotta study.. will be going down to sch to meet Ms V for econs tmr @ 10.. then will hafta do LMS proj @ 12.. in sch.. well.. I guess I better concentrate on doing my CIP.. gt a stupid webpage tt I've gotta complete..

I've gotta pay my sch fees by TMR! Well done.. well done..

NWK.. what in the world do u think u're doing? No.. u've no chance.. No.. so what if u say tt u're nt going to hurt me again? So what? What do u think? All u need to do is to stretch ur hand out and wait for me to take it? What makes u think tt I'll take it? When u say.. u keep referring to "last time".. what makes u think tt "last time" was a gd time??? It's nt the 1st time.. everytime aft u break up with ur gf, this crap will happen.. What do u think I am? A spare tyre? A rubbish collector? For ur kind information.. I'm NT!

Do u know tt all u've said juz works against u? Do u have any idea tt all u've said juz let me rmb him? Do u know tt I'm stressed.. nt cos u posted tt qns.. cos I know v well what the ans will be.. bt cos u reminded me of him? If u think tt u're impt to me.. I'm sorry for bursting tt bubble of urs.. bt u're nt.. he is..

The wall.. yah.. I know.. the wall is no longer there.. I cannot lean on it any longer cos tt wall has shifted.. for u WK.. I, myself demolised tt wall.. n I've no intention of building it up again..

I know.. I know.. I'm still.. in one way or another, emotionally attached to him.. sorry.. he's still a gd, close fren.. maybe it'll only remain this way.. I dunno.. it's nt up to me.. I'll leave it to God..

I'm back.. yah.. went out.. I went to pass dar her stuff.. then I went to meet LY n benny.. there was this other gal with them.. LY's fren.. Yi Hui.. frm PLMGS.. she's nt bad.. quite cute.. relatively close to LY...

Went to PS with them.. Ly n Benny bought prezzie for their fren.. then we went to Starbucks to sit for a while.. then LY left with Yi Hui.. he had to go to Marina Bay for his classmate's b'day celebration..

Dar went to watch Catwoman with Andrew.. yes.. only the both of them.. so I was left alone with Benny.. well.. at least there's someone to accompany me..

Tired.. feel like slping.. bt cannot.. gt CIP.. crap..

She went to his plc to stay.. well done.. asked her to come hm with me bt she said tt she had to go down.. fine..

Whatever.. I dunno what's happening to me.. dunno what's wrong with me.. no.. I think I should say.. I dunno what's right with me.. cos everything's wrong..

I haven't been contented with my life.. I keep wanting more.. keep worrying.. keep thinking abt stuff tt I shouldn't be thinking abt.. tt's nt gd.. NT GD at all..

Drunk.. dead drunk.. shouldn't drink when sick.. shouldn't drink when tired.. juz DUN DRINK!!!

She's in the taxi now.. coming here.. I dunno how's she.. she sounds dead drunk.. bt she says she's nt.. I dunno.. argh.. will be going down to fetch her..

Juz reached hm.. tired.. v tired..

Went for the band concert.. it's a combined sch band concert.. Commonwealth sec, ACJC, St Andrews, St Patrick, Siglap Sec, Temasek Sec.. there were 4 conductors.. 1 frm overseas, Mr Meryl Wamhoff.. the other 3 were, Mr David Glosz, Brando Tan n Ms Tan Yiang Hoon.. Brando n Ms Tan! Wow.. was shocked.. like I didn't expect to see them there.. the songs they played were nice.. although there were lotsa screeches by the clarinets n oboes.. I guess it's quite common.. The song, Fairest of the Fair was v nice.. The Saint and the City, Legends and Heroes.. everything's nice! Haha.. Saw Aaron n Zhi jian there (yumin pri).. haha.. Aaron like actually didn't recognise me at 1st.. like kenneth who didn't recognise me tt day at monstercue..

Aft tt, we went to Orchard Plaza.. Dar n I drank Sydney Cider.. nt much.. juz 1 bottle each..

Sorry.. sorry for being so cold to u.. I know tt u might feel hurt this way.. bt in doing so, I'll be able to prevent u frm getting more hurt in future than if I treat u well now bt suddenly withdraw in future.. u're nice.. I dun see the need.. n the pt of u liking me.. juz.. dun.. change ur liking.. then u'll dun hafta experience the pain.. in this way, u wun have tt bad a memory, n will be able to move on easier.. I hope..

Daddy juz came back nt so long ago.. n the 1st thing tt I gt frm him is nt a hug.. bt a whole series of ranting.. he blamed me for nt taking the financial aid forms before hand.. he asked me why I didn't do so.. He asked me to think for myself... tt's so nt possible.. he said tt if I succeeded in passing my exams, it would be a burden on him.. n if nt, it will also be a burden.. what in the world does he want me to do? I'm tired enough the way I am.. I've alr gt lotsa things to handle.. I dun think I needa handle what he thinks as well..

Sigh.. bt I guess I cannot juz ignore it.. I dunno.. I really dunno..

I'm sick n tired of thinking.. bt the bigger prob is when u find out tt ur probs aren't those tt u can choose whether or nt to think abt bt when u understand tt u cannot nt think abt them..

Have u felt tt smtimes ppl seem to know what u're going thru n send sms or msges of encouragement to u?

I have...

"Even the youths shall faint and be weary and the young men shall utterly fall: but they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." Isaiah 40:30,31 (KJV)

Thx a lot mike.. needed it a lot.. u msged me when I needed it the most.. when I'm faint.. when I'm weary.. to remind me of God's wondrous love... and inexhaustible strength.. thx..

I'm at hm.. using my lap top.. sitting on the chair.. legs crossed.. lap top on my legs.. legs numb.. bt I can't shift cos the wires aren't exactly long enough.. n my bro's on the com.. wonderful...

Dar n I wanted to go for kick-boxing today.. thing's tt we couldn't get thru the security.. so.. we didn't go.. ended up going to Hougang Plaza's K Pool.. man.. the pool table n balls suck.. so in total.. it sux.. haha..

I feel like slping! No.. I'm serious.. I really do feel like slping.. so tired.. eyes closing.. zZzZzZzZ

Having sm ACJC concert tmr.. the tix costs $13.. n they're in horrible quality.. seriously.. they're even worst than XMS' tix! Man.. cmi...

Ok.. I guess I better get concentrating on LMS.. gt lots to cover..

I'm in sch.. juz finished OCOM tutorial.. TTS.. wow.. I think I didn't do v well in it.. sigh..

I'm so freaking tired.. I almost fell aslp while waiting for my turn to speak..

Stuff's settling in now.. We've a personal topic to speak on.. OCOM grp presentation.. which is supposed to last for 20mins.. no more no less.. for the personal topic, I've chosen "family crisis".. guess I've got lots to talk about..

I've gt kick-boxing later.. sigh.. so tired..

LMS.. the script isn't totally completed.. it has to be handed in tmr.. I've only done Part 2's version 1.. there're still many others.. great.. I dun hafta think of slping tonight.. again..

School Updates...

Tests.. tests.. n more tests.. all start at 4pm.. time range varies frm subj to subj..
I've upcoming CIP 2 proj to do.. will be given aft common test wk
I've gt OB proj on stress.. real stress.. presentation: wk 14
OCOM.. personal n grp presentation.. have 3 wks to complete
LMS.. Script, report, role play.. presentation: wk 14

If u think it's nt enough.. there'll be more..

This is life here.. this is life in Ngee Ann Poly.. This... is my life.. like it or nt.. I've gotta cope with it...

Hi.. it's coming to 1 am in the morning n yes.. I'm still online.. I've no idea what in the world I'm doing..

I didn't work yest n today.. juz cos Cat was there.. whatever.. I'm going to quit ANYWAY..

I'm v tired.. yes.. I know tt I've been saying this many times.. I'm v clear tt I've repeated this fact umpteen times in my blog.. bt I really am VERY tired.. I'm exhausted.. I'm stressed.. the 3 stages of stressed.. Alarm, Resistance, Exhaustion.. I'm EXTREMELY exhausted.. I know v well tt I might be heading for burnout.. bt.. I'll do smtg b4 it reaches tt state..

Nxt wk's study break.. the wk aft's common test wk.. so fast.. in 7.. no.. 6 days, I've gotta settle my sch fees.. I dunno where in the world I'm going to DIG out the cash.. I still haven't found it yet..

I'm now on my lap top.. I've gt the modem attached.. the printer.. the mouse.. sigh.. I feel like the lap top.. having so many things attached to me..

I think I'm having a serious case of stress.. so much tt I would rather attribute it to PMS than to think abt it being as stress.. tt's bad.. v bad..

In a way.. I feel as though I'm reverting back to the lifestyle b4 this.. the time when he broke with me.. tt period of abt.. 4+ mths when I was unable to slp.. well.. for me now.. I'm unable to slp well.. unable to slp.. unable to get myself to slp..

I'm getting rather short-tempered.. today.. yest rather.. dar, andrew n I went to the mac tt's opposite dar's plc.. she used the power socket there.. aft a LONG time, an auntie saw it.. she complained to one of the other customers.. during the whole time.. she was staring at me.. I dunno what in the world she's looking at.. bt she was staring.. I.. gt v agitated.. I almost blew my top.. sigh.. this is NOT gd.. well.. prob it's cos of my shirt.. it has the words "We're the 1% who don't fit & don't care".. bt I doubt she can read it..

Gd morning.. it's 1.33 on my lap top.. I'm still awake.. I still have OCOM tutorial to complete.. I've gotta wake up at ard 530 later.. cos I gt someone to give me morning call.. Nvm.. I managed to slp for.. 10 mins b4 I came online.. so it's ok.. at least I wun feel so tired.. oh.. freak.. I'll be having kick-boxing later.. die..

Haha.. welcome to my life..

Probs, probs n more probs... sigh...

I admit.. I'm cold.. I'm v cold to u.. I'm sorry.. tt's how I do things..

When ur heart is dead, u'll have no will to live.. is tt how u think? So do u mean tt u're going to give up? To give up on everything? U said tt I'm heartless.. tt u want so much to leave.. do u think tt I'm willing to? I'm sure tt I'm nt the only one who doesn't want u to go.. n I'm def nt the only one who is holding on.. y can't u juz hold on? Y? I know u're tired.. I know tt u've been fighting for a long time.. I know tt u juz wanna let go.. bt y can't u juz.. I know tt I've no right.. I know tt I cannot comment.. I agree.. I dunno what u've been going thru.. I dunno how it feels to have a 10 cm long needle piercing thru ur neck.. I dunno how it feels to have 10 over needles poking u.. I dunno how it feels to have ppl pinning u down to inject med down ur spine.. I dunno how it feels to go into a dark rm n emerge being unable to talk, move or even breathe.. I dunno how it feels to have to breathe with 2 tubes stuck down ur nose.. Yes.. I really dunno.. bt I know it hurts..

u said tt u 2 r nt communicating enough.. bt the other party says tt he's trying.. he says tt u're nt free.. he says tt u juz cannot find time for him.. u say otherwise.. u're bz.. I know.. I can see.. I cant be a mediator.. I cannot.. things are juz btwn u n him.. there're smtgs tt has to be settled btwn the both of u.. no one should.. n could..

I'm oso tired.. I've gt lotsa stuff to handle.. myself.. my parents.. siblings.. sch.. financial issues.. work.. spiritual life.. friendships.. rlsps.. lots.. n lots.. n lots more..

God.. I know tt I haven't been relying on U.. I know tt I've been trying to do things my way.. I know tt I'm the one who WANTS.. n it's nt necessary UR will.. Father.. show me ur will.. show me what U've planned.. what U've done.. the reason for y it has to be done.. Pls.. grant me strength..

I'm in class now.. yah..

Yest was a relatively gd day.. Went to do proj @ Wisma in the morning.. then went down to Cine to catch the village with dar, andrew n zhiwei.. aft tt, we went to Marina Bay.. Oh man.. I LOVE the guy! He's so gd! He chose a gd spot for us so tt we can catch a gd view of the fireworks.. n he even gave us 6 ILT on the house! Wow! haha.. nat n edward (nat's fren) came.. they were supposed to eat bt they didn't.. so.. haha..

The fireworks was beautiful.. I love it.. last yr's was better.. longer.. on my b'day.. now I know y..

Smtg happened aft tt.. cos of tt, I reached hm quite late.. n I ended up quarrelling with my dad.. I suddenly found out how unfeeling he is.. He can tell me abt his past n all.. Y CAN'T HE PUT HIMSELF IN MY SHOES?!?

I was being too pessimistic to rmb.. Happy National Day..

This day might juz be any other public holiday for many of u.. bt it signifies much.. it symbolises 39 yrs of freedom.. of independence.. God has been faithful.. has sustained the country for 39 whole yrs.. it's nt a lot.. bt it's neither little.. Imagine what could have happened within this span of 39 yrs..

Although many ppl will attribute the peace n prosperity to our wonderful senior minister, it would have been impossible if nt for God..

N I might juz be an external.. or an internal with external views.. whichever..

Hi.. aft a long break frm writing.. cos I was tired.. well.. the past few days were abt the same.. work..

Today.. met him for lunch with nat.. went to the coffee shop under his blk.. went to the plc where he works.. went to the playgrd where di, me n him went a yr back.. sigh.. memories..

YH came with her family to have dinner @ Renn Thai.. she took her orders on her own.. n she forgot to circle which soup she wanted.. so I told her.. n aft tt.. I accidentally overheard her back-stabbing me in front of Poh Wan who joined in.. wow.. thx a lot.. serves me right for informing u tt u didn't circle ur order correctly..

Sorry.. everything's my fault.. sorry for being unable to get the scholarship n bursary.. sorry for nt getting study loans.. sorry for adding to ur burden.. it's all MY fault..

Sorry.. sorry for being so weak when I should be strong.. sorry for liking u the way I do.. sorry for still needing u to be here.. so sorry..

Sorry.. sorry for making u worry.. sorry for.. for everthing wrong tt I've done.. it's me.. I shouldn't have done it.

Sorry.. sorry for being the idiot n let my sister read this entry.. my irritating sister.. yes.. she has no idea what it means by a "sense of privacy".. well done..

Sorry for nt praying.. for backsliding more n more each day.. sorry for crying.. didn't mean to..

Sorry.. for everything.. I'm sorry..

Hello.. yah.. I'm nt aslp yet.. nt v surprising..

For the last sentence of the previous post.. I wish to further elaborate since greg asked for it..

What I meant by tt was.. IF I really had to open up to someone.. IF it's a must.. then I would rather let Greg be tt person.. frm my class tt is.. I dunno abt ppl frm other classes.. dun think I'll find anyone frm other classes..

Lionel asked me to join him for prata.. thx a lot.. bt I'm fat.. n growing fatter..

For dinner, dar n I had kfc.. 2 piece chicken.. then, we went to swensens for a regular earthquake.. I can say tt we were amazed cos we were actually able to finish the whole earthquake.. tt's.. incredible.. haha..

I'm tired.. zzzZZZzzzZZ.. I know nuts abt doing the html up.. I'm going bonkers at the rate I'm pushing myself.. I dunno where in the world am I going to find $975 to pay for my sch fees b4 the 16th of Aug.. I.. sigh.. God.. help me.. help me to trust in YOU.. tt U'll provide.. so tt I'll nt contemplate Begging, stealing or borrowing.. ok.. maybe borrowing.. sigh.. I dunno.. dun like to worry over money issues.. esp when it touches studies.. whoever's studies alike.. n.. argh.. I'm only left with $40++ in POSB.. the OCBC cannot be touched cos it's for me to pay sch fees.. bt I only have $500++ inside.. cos the amt in OCBC cannot be lesser than 500 else there'll be a "storage surcharge".. sigh..

I'm at mac now.. yes.. nt at hm.. today was.. hmm.. quite a day..

Both dar n I woke up late.. n both of us took individual taxis down to sch cos when I gt a cab, I called her bt she didn't pick up the hp.. then she gt a cab.. so.. we met in sch..

OCOM tutorial for today was juz the Table Topic Session.. I think tt both dar n I are the 'best' critics in class cos everyone told us to be more lenient.. well.. 1 pg was for 3, at most 4 ppl.. what do u think? the both of us used ard 2 1/2, 3 pgs.. aft tt, we were dismissed cos Ms Thea wasn't feeling all tt well so she didn't go thru the tutorial assignment with us..

Went to mac for breakfast.. then went for pool.. andrew went to cut his hair.. today's pool 'gang'.. Greg, andrew, zhi wei, lloyd, wanni, dar n I.. we saw iskandar there.. aft pool, andrew, dar n I went to PS to catch I.Robot.. it's quite a cool show.. esp the wonderful phrase of, *ah choo* "Excuse me, I'm allergic to bullshit." V funny..

Sitting here is a BIG stress.. the smoke's coming frm the right.. dying frm breathing difficulties.. ARGH..

I'm sorry for being how I was.. dar said tt it was my fault.. for tt particular 5 mins, it was.. bt only for tt particular 5 mins.. I dunno which 5 mins it was.. bt.. sorry.. it's juz me.. I know tt u want me to open up.. open up to u.. I'm sorry.. bt I can't do tt as well.. u juz dun know me.. u dun know me at all.. I've tried.. bt u still can't see.. smtimes.. smtgs r nt as ez as they seem.. smtimes it's consequences n circumstances.. the surrounding and underlying factors tt push me towards this direction.. n it's nt my fault.. it's nt me.. it's nt tt I dun wanna open up.. it's juz tt I wun open up to u.. maybe to him.. maybe to smone like greg.. yes.. greg.. dun ask y.. I wun say.. bt nt u.. sorry..

Hi.. gt back @ ard 11+.. almost missed every bus stop today.. when I went to sch, I woke up @ the NP bus stop cos I felt smtg tugging at my hair..n it's a gd thing tt I did.. else I would have been unable to wake up.. attended tutorial.. then lecture.. was VERY cold to everyone today.. Zhi Wei msged me n asked me y I was running away frm him.. well.. I'm nt.. n even if I am.. I can't help it.. sorry..

Took a bus to rush down to work.. almost missed the stop(again).. woke up @ Far East Plaza.. n the nxt stop's the stop which I was supposed to alight.. haha.. tonight, Poh Leng was there.. then Amir, Poh Wan, Poh Leng n Kai Lin were conversing in Malay in front of Jason n me.. Jason can understand.. cos, he's aft all a msian.. bt I couldn't.. was quite left out today..

Went hm.. n woke up @ ard grace haven.. tt's like half a stop b4 my stop.. haha.. 3rd time tt I almost missed my stop..

I'm so tired.. I'm v sure tt my dark eye ring r very obvious.. my eye bags r bulging.. n tt I'm fat! sigh..

Abt tt matter.. I'm sorry.. I guess I'm still nt ready to walk out of tt.. I like this.. yah.. I'm comfortable.. n I feel safe like this.. I might consider closing again.. today felt great.. nice.. yes.. dar didn't go to sch for almost the whole day.. I was cold to everyone cos of tt.. n I felt ok.. it didn't feel like there's a big diff.. no diff whatsoever.. n it was wonderful..

I'm a horrible masochist.. I gt my pay today.. a pathetic sum of $252.50.. dar gt $37.50.. irritating small sum of money.. I've gt at most 67++ in my POSB.. cos of sm wonderful person.. idiot.. n.. I'll die if I quit.. sigh.. bt working's stress.. v stress..

Yes.. I've nt done my OCOM tutorial.. n I'll have no time to do it tmr.. yes.. I've nt started my research for my 72hr OB assignment.. which.. has less than 48 hrs left.. sigh..

Hey.. juz back.. skipped OB lecture (again).. went to orchard.. Borders' Sakae.. dar, zhi wei n I.. andrew met up with us aft tt then we went down to Meridien to play pool at monstercue.. man.. it was SOOOO ex.. total of 32.80.. like.. what in the world.. bt we were there for abt 3 hrs.. so.. cannot comment much.. oh.. I wonderfully injured myself.. yah.. my left hand.. haha.. my pinkie was injured cos my hand was on the table n I accidentally dropped the ball on my hand while I was taking them out.. my forefinger was injured cos I banged my hand against the table while attempting to shoot the ball.. pro.. haha.. n I actually said tt it's nt pain when smone rubbed it.. wow.. have sm gd tolerating skills..

Didn't really do much.. dar signed up a new plan.. so she's going to change her no.. yah.. if u wanna know then call or msg me.. I'll tell u.. :) (nat.. rmb hor)

I dunno what else to write.. juz found out tt I've gt a proj tt's due in 72 hrs.. n I dun have the paper.. WELL DONE! Serves me rite for nt attending lecture.. die.. I'm going to make it a pt to attend my lectures! Sigh.. how?!? I think I've to slp early tonight.. cos I cant slp tmr.. gd thing lessons end @ 11 on thurs.. bt I've gt a freaking dreamweaver CIP lecture in the morning.. then TTS.. no OCOM lecture..

This wk, I'll be working a lot.. was supposed to work today bt I didn't know so.. I didn't go down.. I'm supposed to work tmr, fri, sat n sun.. tt's a lot.. Wei Xiang wun be working.. so I understand y.. haha.. okok.. I've gotta do my OB.. else I can't hand it in tmr.. sigh.. jia you..

Had our CIP ppt presentation today.. wow.. at LONG last, we've FINALLY managed to finish PBL1... 1 down, 2 more to go.. At least our effort paid off.. the tchr was relatively impressed with us..

I had BS today.. it was gd.. it was on Christian worldview.. what's ur view of the world? what's the def of worldview? lotsa stuff..

I was quite moody today.. n I dunno y.. I juz suddenly felt moody.. suddenly felt upset.. felt a sense of foreboding.. I called him, my dad, my mum.. n all said tt nth's wrong.. I dunno.. it couldn't be me.. then I called LY.. well.. for sm reason, he wasn't in a gd mood either..

Man.. I'm dead tired.. so DEAD TIRED.. our proj's done.. we can rest a while. *I hope*.. @ least I can have a more peaceful slp tonight.. :P

I'm at hm using the internet on my laptop.. at last I can get connection on my lap top.. aft such a LONG time.. smtg's wrong with blogger.. or so I think.. cos I cannot blog my last entry which I tried to yest.. or was it the day b4.. sat..

Sat, went to sch in the morning for badminton.. reached sch early.. had breakfast then it started pouring so dar n I had to make a big loop outta the sch gate, in the other gate, to the atrium, thru np orchard b4 we reached the sports hall.. aft badminton attachment, we went to KAP to wait for andrew.. we did v little there cos the noise lvl was intolerable n on the constant increase.. hence we went back to sch.. I went to work aft tt..

Sun.. went to church.. learnt abt sm issues on abortion.. informative.. then met up with the grp.. we "finished" the proj.. then I cut my hair.. looks much better now.. feels much lighter.. :P.. went down to Marina Bay aft tt.. we managed to catch the fireworks frm the NDP rehearsal.. sooo nice.. the last time I saw fireworks was last yr.. on my b'day.. met Lionel downstairs my plc to collect my BSTATS tb.. then.. my grp found out tt there's much tt we've nt done.. lotsa stuff tt's nt exactly rite.. so.. tt's y we're online now.. sigh.. stress..

I fell down.. gt sm scratches on my right leg.. tore a skin on my left toe.. no big deal.. juz sm minor abrasions.. they'll heal.. sigh.. my application for scholarship isn't approved.. I dunno what to do now.. God.. help me..

Jia You ppl.. we can do it..