Did typing today.. as in literally TYPE on a typewriter.. I've nt touched a typewriter for a LONG time.. this is a digitalized one.. quite cool.. :P

Being overseas is gd.. in a way.. cos u can get away frm all the hustle n bustle of stressful Singapore.. to take some time off.. sit back.. relax.. rejuvenate urself.. and it muz be coupled with lotsa fun n loads of laughter..
Then there muz be some special person/ppl there tt makes everything joyful.. tt make u learn smtg abt urself tt u otherwise would nt have found out..
U make a great bunch of frenz who hang out.. stick together.. although u've only knew each other for such a short period of time..
The ppl create an impact in ur life..
An impact tt will stay..
For life..

I miss u guys.. although we're frm different polys.. we clicked well.. we talked.. helped each other with our probs.. tried giving each other advice.. stuck together.. bonded excellently..

I'll cherish the times we had.. the crazy things we did.. the lame jokes we shared..

My newly made buddies.. Ashton, Edmond, Joan, Jonathan, Kat, Marcus, Nicole, Roy, Stanley, Wen Ling, Zen..
My flea mkt team.. Tabby, Gaurov, Sis, Alex, Mya, XB, Annur..
Kendrick..
Vishal, Sahfari, Isabelle, Hui Wen..
Thanks ppl.. u all have made a great impact in my life.. thank u all for it.. :)

Dear.. they are really v nice ppl.. they kept encouraging me when we had probs.. telling me nt to give up.. reminding me tt u're a rare catch..

Dar.. ur rlsp with ak may nt always be sunny skies.. bt hang on.. pray abt it.. dun give up so easily.. n u all will be able to see the rainbow at the end..

Thank God for all of u.. Love u ppl..

Someone's going to sue daddy for bankcrupcy.. n he's putting the stress on me..

What's so hard to understand? I'm NT a person who prints money.. I've nv been.. y keep stressing me?!?

Dear's so paranoid over everything.. a simple qns can stir up his negative thots..

Dear.. pls.. dun be so paranoid.. cos u'll freak out.. n in turn freak me out..
I'm nt going anywhere.. pls.. dun make me..

I know tt we're struggling to keep the rlsp going.. cos there're many obstacles.. it's nt ez.. no body said it was ez.. bt no one said it'd be so hard..

Dear.. pray abt it.. trust in God..

IF anything were to happen to this rlsp.. it's all in God's hands.. maybe it's juz nt the right time.. or maybe u've yet to find the right one..

I dun wanna carry on this rlsp built on emotions n feelings.. tt's y I need to assess our rlsp.. I need to know tt thru these past mths I haven't been juz relying on feelings.. bt when I look at it.. it seems to me tt I really have been juz feeling.. cos the love of God is nt with us..

I know it's hard to get u to go to church.. I cannot force u to.. although I hope u'll go with me.. bt it's easier said than done..

Dear Father..
Lead us.. guide us.. help us along the way.. help us to see which road U've planned.. and if the road turns out tt we're going to move in different directions.. pls help us to accept it with humbleness of heart.. and to implore Ur grace.. help us to trust U.. to see tt everything will work out for gd to them who love U..
Keep us from evil..
Forgive our sins..
In Jesus' Name.
Amen.

I've shifted back to the admin office cos there's a new attachee coming in..

I'm tired.. quite.. talked to dear on the phone till 2++ yest b4 I could slp.. at least we aren't quarreling alr..

Today's the 5th mth.. It seems so long.. bt yet so short.. I hear other telling me abt their rlsps n how it lasts bt when I look at mine.. somehow it seems like we're short of topics.. and it's worrying cos it seems like our rlsp is only made up of tt few words..

We've gotta work at it..

Dear Father Lord.. thank you for the times tt U've given us.. help us to cherish each other.. Father help us to be able to prioritise.. to know what comes first.. lead us away from temptations and deliver us frm evil.. Forgive us our many sins.. In Jesus' name. Amen

I.. am pissed..

Dar's in the hospital.. cos her wound opened up and she fainted.. prob is tt I dunno where's she..

Dar.. I'm sorry.. I dunno lotsa stuff abt what has happened.. I haven't been paying attention.. I'm so sorry..

Bt tt doesn't mean tt I dun care abt u anymore.. I still do.. I still love u..

What if.. u're alr in a rlsp.. and u like another guy.. n tt person reciprocate the feelings.. what would u do..

I dunno.. I nv thot it was possible..

Bt when I really think of it.. it might be possible..

If there's a crack in ur present rlsp.. if u've purely been running on feeling.. many other reasons..

If I'm involved in it.. I'll let the guy go.. cos I've gotta be responsible for dear.. he's my bf aft all.. if I really like the other guy.. I'd let him go knowing tt he has to although he doesn't want to..

Dar.. dun worry.. I'll always be here for u.. really.. dun give up.. I love u..
Dear.. even if anything were to happen.. or go wrong.. I'll still be here... really.. I always will be.. *hugz*

We quarrelled again yest..

He almost wanted to kill himself.. He started smoking AGAIN.. He smoked like 5 to 6 sticks.. held a pen knife in his hand.. msged scary msges like.. Darkness is engulfing.. dun let the darkness take over u.. Shine for me.. asked me for my account no..

Death.. doesn't solve anything.. and what would I do it he really died?

His parents would hate me.. I would hate myself.. n him.. and is tt the kind of ending tt we would have wanted?

Today's sermon was on "The pilgrim's confidence of unseparable love".. Ptr Kortering preached on this.. said tt we usually base on our feelings and emotions.. n nt true love.. tt nth is true love except it be with God's love..

Then I bring it down to a micro level.. and put it into mine.. then I wonder.. if we've been running on juz feeling.. cos it'll explain y when the feeling dwindles.. then the rlsp seems as though it's collapsing..

Dear.. I really hope u'll come to church.. then u can share the same faith.. n we wun have this prob....

If love is the ocean.. and u're afraid of the water.. would u stand by the side and wait for the water to ripple over.. or would u run to the water n dive right in?

I chose the 1st choice.. what abt u?

I'm back!!! Haha..

Poly forum has been FUN! Met lotsa ppl.. did lotsa stuff.. there was a discussion tt caused 2 sides of the grp to quarrel.. it's like we almost fought.. cos ppl were too head strong..

I can't rmb what else is there to write.. juz tt it really was an eventful time..

I ended up quarreling with him cos I reached home late.. nvm... quarrels juz seem so common nowadays..

Yest I went down to find him aft work.. met up with nat.. had dinner over at the restaurant..

We were both dead beat.. I actually took a cab back frm amk cos I didn't wanna wait..

Am in the office now.. still tired.. my eyes are actually still closing.. How to keep myself awake?!?

Sweets aren't working.. I've gotta go out to get lunch for lily later.. when I dun feel like eating cos I wanna slp... I'm SOOOO tired!

Okok.. relax.. RELAX.. today's FRI! Bt tmr gotta get up early in the morning to meet my grp ppl.. then sell stuff.. then go out.. then it's sunday alr..

Sun morning church.. aftnn work.. nite home..

Monday sch.. meet him.. HIS day..

Tue to Thurs.. in Msia.. dun miss me too much k? :P I'll be back on Thurs nite..

Fri.. sch..

Sat training.. Sun church.. FREE!!!!

Mon.. back to work.. wk 5 of attachment.. 17/10... OUR day..

I've gt so much to do.. so little time..

Dear Father,

Pls help me..
Grant me strength to go thru the day..
Keep me from temptations and the evils of this world..
Cleanse my thoughts..
Keep me pure..
Help me nt to be rebellious..
Help me to rely on U n U only..
Father.. help me to trust in U..
to put myself, dear n our rlsp in Ur hands..
Help us nt to be too stubborn to block out what U're trying to tell us..
Help us listen to u..
To pray fervently..
To control ourselves..
To help each other..

Father..
forgive us of all our sins,
for we do us
N I ask n pray all these
in Jesus name.

AMEN.

Results are out alr.. This morning when I was on the bus on the way to the mrt station, I received the msg.. I did ok I guess.. it was bad as expected bt better than what I thot I'd get..


ACCOUNTING APPLICATIONS & ANALYSIS B
BUSINESS ETIQUETTE & IMAGE AD
ELECTRONIC COMMERCE C+
INTERNATIONAL ECONOMICS & FINANCE C+
INTRODUCTION TO SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY B+
OPERATIONS MANAGEMENT B
PRINCIPLES OF MARKETING B

My GPA dropped tremendously.. I've gotta buck up nxt sem.. else... sigh.. u all should know..

Dear didn't do as well as he hoped he'd do.. so he was quite upset..

He's gt 2B+, 4Bs, 2C+..

Dar didn't do tt bad too.. she oso passed all her modules..

Thank God for giving us these results.. it might nt be up to our expectations bt at least we passed.. Thank U!!! :)

Had lunch with Shack n his new secretary.. Shack gave us a treat at Sarracino, an italian restaurant over at Ocean Towers.. had seafood spaghetti, beef lasagne, mushroom pizza, sausage, potato.. it was VERY nice.. v filling.. v ex too.. pasta cost up to $9.50 per plate.. so.. yah.. this meal would prob have caused abt $30.. or more..

Aft lunch, I helped Lily wrap the present tt she wanted to give Sylvia.. Sylvia's a lawyer.. new mother of 3.. YES! Triplets!!!! Wow.. I've nt know anyone with triplets.. now I know! Haha.. cool..

Gotta go back to work.. see when I'm free... :P

Dear.. dun be too upset over ur PPV.. it's ok.. really.. we'll study harder nxt sem.. n pray tt God will help us understand what we're studying ok?

Love u..

Woohoo!!! I've gt a lunch appt tmr!

Ok.. now I know y I had to help Shack.. cos he didn't have a secretary.. his is coming in tmr.. n he invited me for lunch with them.. cool! In this way.. I can save up on lunch money.. muahahaha.. :P

I'm slacking now.. finally.. aft a whole day's work.. I can relax.. a little.. *phew*

This morning did binding for Emma cos Zila took 1/2 day leave.. cos of tt I couldn't go to court.. bt.. my dressing wasn't appropriate anyway.. muz be white n black.. with coat..

Pearl helped me do up the reimbursement form.. actually.. sm ppl here are v nice.. like.. Lily.. Lymond.. Chee Kian.. Gillian.. Pearl.. Agnes.. Masayu.. Zila.. Emma.. Joye.. Annie.. Jun Hong.. Yao Fu.. the accts gals.. n so many more..

BT..

In this realistic world.. many ppl do nt wanna be so nice.. cos they might be taken advantage of.. n tt's what everybody's afraid of.. or trying to avoid..

It's VERY hard to work with lawyers cos of their stringent wants.. the way they want things done THEIR WAY only.. so.. it really needs A LOT of skill to handle HR.. the rate ppl are coming in n going out kinda shows tt welfare isn't really taken care of...

Maybe I can post suggestions...
Juz maybe...

Hey! I juz came back frm my "excursion" to ACRA..

Went there to look at microfilms which are actually like negative films.. juz tt they have abt 70 pieces of doc on a single film.. n I had to go thru 4 to look for info.. it's so giddy to look at it.. cos it's negative.. I'm having a terrible headache now.. VERY pain.. my head feels as though it's going to split apart..

In another few min.. I'll be free! Then I can go out! With DEAR!!! Provided I dun hafta attend tt mtg.. sigh..

Whatever it is.. I'm counting the mins tt I can see u again..

Oh.. mushroom pot staff having a buffet dinner at I dunno where.. bt I wanna acc dear.. if I acc him.. then I cannot go find them.. if I go with them.. then dear will feel left out.. HOW?!?

Who's going? Dar, Long Quan, Wendy, Dennis, Avan n Chua..

I've been bz the WHOLE morning.. frm the time I stepped into the office till now.. I didn't even have the time to "login"..

I'm getting a little tired n restless now.. I've gotta go down to the Accounting & Corporate Regulatory Authority (ACRA) to look at microfilm.. I've no idea what is microfilm.. nt v sure what I've gotta look for.. and where's the plc? International Plaza.. which is at Anson Rd.. which is at Tanjong Pagar.. which is.. one mrt station towards Boon Lay frm here..

Dear's off at 7pm today.. maybe we can go catch a movie.. IF I am off by then.. yes.. LOGICALLY.. I'm supposed to be off at 6pm.. bt.. I can only reach ACRA by 15.24 cos they have this "rule" tt ppl can only go retrieve the stuff 24 hrs aft application.. so I can only reach there by 3.30.. n I've gotta search thru files n all.. I hope I can finish within 2 hrs.. cos I still hafta print.. n bring back.. hope I'll be earlier than dear.. dun want him to wait for me.. he worked the whole day.. then still hafta wait for me..

Shack invited me to go for hearing!!! SO COOL!!! Apparently all attachees who are taking the Law dip in TP HAS to attend at least a hearing.. ok.. so I really gotta buy white top.. n now I've gotta find a black jacket.. hmmm.. dunno if I have one.. think it might be somewhere.. somewhere.. I dunno where..

Dear.. if I decide to do anything.. pls dun be overly upset or whatever..

I'm nt giving up on u.. or us.. I really do love u..

Bt at times like this.. we should really concentrate on our studies.. I know tt I should check up on myself as well.. my religion.. my closeness with God..

At times I juz feel so helpless.. cos everything seems to be crashing down on me.. I'm nt who I was or who I used to be anymore..

I'm nt going to force u to choose over religion or me.. cos tt's unfair to u.. juz like it is for me.. so IF I have to make a choice.. I wun know what to do..

I wun give u up.. this isn't a test of our love for each other.. it's an exam.. if we pass.. we'll pass..

I know what daddy wanted to ask u.. he will ask u questions in biblical context.. tt's y he said tt u wun be able to ans..

I dun want u to feel stressed cos of our rlsp.. cos if it's stressful.. and straining.. I would rather nt go thru it.. no pt going thru a strenuous rlsp..

Sm ppl say tt I look stressed cos of this.. I beg to differ.. I'm nt stressed cos of US.. bt cos of my parents.. with u.. I dun feel stressed.. I feel relaxed.. really.. and I know u feel tt way too..

I'll hope for the day tt I can hold ur hands and go to church together.. when my parents will accept u for who u r & nt who they want u to be.. tt one day I might be able to walk down the aisle with u..

My dad says we're nt ready.. my mum says tt if we're nt going to end up in marriage, better nt start.. God says "Be ye not unequally yoked.."

I say.. we're serious abt this.. God.. help us.. teach us where to go.. what to do.. whether or nt we'll work out.. help us accept..

Bt till whatever happens.. I'll be loving u.. Love me..

The whole day of looking for hotels.. calling.. talking..

I've found 10.. shortlisted 6..

Now gotta wait for some to send me the proposal.. then I can tabulate.. then it's done!

Today i did photocopying of BOOKS.. law books.. cases tt are found inside.. then Shack (lawyer) is intending on getting me to go down to ACRA to look for info.. cool.. bt those are secretarial jobs.. n I'm NT a secretary.. n I'm alr underpaid.. n overworked.. n sad to say.. there's nth I can do abt it..

Well.. nvm.. it's a learning opportunity anyway.. so it's cool.. :)
bt if I had to do the work.. when it's nt in my scope.. then it'll get quite bad..

No wonder ppl r leaving...

For the whole morning, I've been searching for hotels cos the company has decided to cancel the firm trip to Bali.. the budget they gave me is really LOW.. it's kinda hard to get a 5* hotel at tt kinda rate.. N IF I manage to get a gd one.. I wanna go.. *hint hint* haha.. crazy.. it's so nt for me.. cant imagine what it'll be.. me n a bunch of ppl.. sm are even twice my age! :P

Nat's gt a job! Congrats! The Cocoa Trees one.. she went for the interview today and she gt the job.. she has to go for training 1st.. n her pay's $5/hr.. I think they'll take CPF frm there.. unlike mine.. no CPF to take.. Haha..

Going for lunch soon..

Dear.. dun cry alr k? I know tt the feeling of missing someone really is hard to bear.. bt whatever it is.. wherever I am.. juz close ur eyes.. I'm there with u.. always..

Love u..

Found a few pics.. VERY nice.. I'll post it up..

Back frm lunch.. had it with nat n charles.. NICE! :)

Charles slimmed down A LOT.. sigh.. then he's going for sm minor surgery..

I'm so tired.. I know dear muz be tired too..

Nat's going to cut her hair now.. I juz helped her to pay her hp bills too.. so I'm VERY BROKE.. sigh.. anyone wanna contribute to me? Oh.. come to think of it.. she doesn't have enough to cut her hair too.. haha.. think our dear fren charles has to pay for her.. nt tt it really matters.. it's only $28.. to him tt is.. :P

Went to dear's work plc to eat yest.. brought nat to look for jobs oso..

The food is quite gd.. and we've gt special treatment cos he's staff.. haha.. :P

I gt to carry a baby.. as in another customer's child.. she's SOOOO CUTE! If I can.. I'll try to post the pic up.. tt'll be aft I get the cable.. and the software.. which is I dunno when..

I bought quite a few stuff yest.. I wun reveal a single thing until appropriate timing.. :P I'm alr thinking of what to do n how to do it..

Oh.. Wei Er's wedding is 7 Dec.. meaning.. whatever I wanna get for them muz be done soon..

Dear n I are so tired.. cos we slept at abt 1 plus.. yah.. n we have to work today.. like I literally had to DRAG myself out of bed to come to work cos I'm v tired.. sigh..

Dear God..
grant us grace n strength to go thru this day..
help us to trust in U only..
forgive us of our sins..
In Jesus' Name
Amen.

Ok... I know what my parents are driving at.. both of them are telling me tt dear's nt gd or smtg in tt line..

How much do they know? They dun know a single thing abt him except prob his name.. They'll nv see him the way I do.. they will nv get to know IF they dun give him a chance.. and they'll nv be able to see anything coming out of this rlsp if they dun give US a chance..

I've been bombarded A LOT esp in the past wk.. I'm getting so sick n tired of listening to this.. My dad can't juz go snooping thru my hp n blog.. it's juz so nt right..

I know this might be considered rebellious bt I'm nt going to give up..

Like what Dar n Sayang have been saying.. they've NV seen me so deeply in love b4.. and it's true..

Dear.. it's nt tt I dun trust u.. I know tt we've been thru lots during this past 4 over mths.. we've been thru things tt many couples do nt face in their lifetimes.. and young as we are, we've alr made this decision.. I know tt it gets tiring to keep encouranging a person.. bt keep on at it k?

Dar said tt God wun put someone so impt into ur life, make him mean so much.. and then take him away.. Only God knows.. We wun.. bt till whatever happens.. we'll hold on..

Oh.. n.. I wun force u to come to church with me.. cos there's no pt in forcing if u dun wanna come.. and the thing is.. ur parents dun allow.. and u're working.. so tt juz makes it harder.. bt u should know what I hope for..

I hope to see the 4 of us in church together.. Dear, dar, sayang n me.. and tt we'll continue tt way.. until maybe dar gets married to ak or sayang finds someone.. bt I hope tt it'll happen..

Love u.. all of u..