Baby's on the coach to KL now...

He'll be there for dance com and will only be back sun evening..

Already missing him..
Already feeling lonely..

Oh wells...
At least my sickness is getting a teeny bit better..

Blocked nose..
Difficulty breathing..
Possible allergy to the cough mixture given..
Coughing out chunks of phlegm some with blood..

I'm sick......
Baby's sick too..
Cause of me..

Sigh..
Hate this feeling of being so sick..
Think a fever might come soon....

God..
Help me get well soon..
And for baby to get well too..

Baby..

I thank you for not giving up on me..
For giving me another chance..

Thank You..

And thank you God..

~"Find a man who is perfect enough to understand why you're not."-Kathy Lette~
~Baby.. You're that man..~

You called me a disappointment and immature..

I didn't expect words like this to come out from your mouth..
I had hoped that you'd understand..
Guess not..

Of course I'd choose him over you..
He's my guy..
While you are only a friend..

This kind of reaction is uncalled for..
You've got your girl..
I've got my guy..

It never occurred to me that you'd insult me that way..
Guess I was wrong..

Hope you're happy with your girl..

Sometimes, words are inadequate to express how you feel...

Now's a time..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I will never be able to put down in words how I feel towards you..
You're special..
A gift from God..

The things I've done to make you feel this way must have been intolerable to you..

Perhaps your heart has already died out trying..

No..
You never were a substitute for anyone..

I might not have treated you in a way that you hoped for me to..
But at the very least, I'm sure I didn't treat you badly..

No..
I don't want to give up..

You say that your love for me is dying by the day..
Am I not worth your love?

You say that you won't put in 100% in the relationship..
You think I don't put in more than that?

Maybe..
Just maybe..
You don't feel the pain..

But I do..

I know you hurt..
Probably in a different way than mine..

I'm not pushing you away..
I never did..
Maybe in the way I did things..
I showed to you a view that you weren't important to me..
But you really are..

No other words can express my sorrow..
My pain..
or my guilt..

I'm sorry for not being the girl you wished for..
I'm sorry for stressing you in anyway that I did..
Sorry for everything..

Hope I did give you happy memories..

And if this still means anything to you..

I still love you..

Watched 200 pound beauty yesterday at The Cathay with baby, my brother and his girlfriend..

The show's real nice..
A little humour..
A lot of reality..

Do watch it if you can..

I'm bored...

I've finished my pile of work (for the moment)..
and I'm sick..

Runny nose..
Sore throat..
Slight headache..

And I miss my medicine..

My hunk of a guy,
sweet and good-looking medicine..

Baby..
I need you to make me feel better..

Baby..

Today commemorates our 8th month anniversary..

Although it might not be a very long time,
it is by far my longest relationship and I wish to say that I really appreciate whatever you've done for me..

I might not have been very good, causing you to feel distressed, jealous and angry..

I'm sorry..

However, I would want to tell you this........

The Virginia Tech Massacre..

Funny how something happening so far away can actually trigger so much feelings..

All because one guy has pent-up anger,
was probably abused (physically, sexually, verbally) when he was younger
decided to purchase guns and gun down 32 students and teachers in Virginia Tech,
many people had to suffer pain and sorrow..

I was reading through the many articles on how that guy could actually have been prevented from committing this hedious crime of homicide,
of how the crime took placed,
of how friends and family of the victims feel about them
and have seen many pictures of how America and South Korea mourn for the lost of these people.

Out of the 32 people killed, many were bright students with promising futures..
each important to their friends and family in many ways..
all had their lives "cut short" just because of one mad schoolmate.

I got this quote from one of the victims' parents..
"Choose to focus on life and the love and the light that our children brought into the world and not on the darkness and the madness and the death."

Maybe we really should start thinking of what God has done for us.. and not only focus on all the disasters, calamities and killings that have been happening..

~When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another. - Helen Keller~

I'm easily affected by whatever people say..
That..
I have to admit..

But I don't see the need to be affected by you..
You're no longer a part of my life..
I don't even know if I'd consider you a friend because friends don't put each other down the way you do me..
Acquaintance.. maybe..

You think that you're so good..
Prove it..

Mistakes aren't made by one party only..
It takes two hands to clap..

If we weren't good together..
It's not only my fault..
You have fault too..

Hope you have progressed as much as you claimed you did..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have to thank Desmond, Janani and baby for this..
Without you all,
I'd probably not be able to do this..

Especially baby..
Thank you so much..

Love you..

Met Vivien on the bus today..

She's my primary 6, secondary 3 & 4 classmate..
She's currently in NUS, majoring in Mathematics..
As expected of her..
Her mathematics has always been good...

The bulk of guys' MSN nicks have changed to something that reflects their enlistment dates..
Haha..

Some people have already received their university notification letters..
I've not gotten mine yet..

Guess it's that time of the year again.........

~Waiting....~

I was bored..

So I did this..

And my results........

At this time you are feeling 'uptight' and you are urgently in need of rest and relaxation; but perhaps even more than that you need to overcome that feeling that you have been 'hard done by' and treated with a complete lack of consideration. Maybe you have, but whatever may have been the cause of your inherent anxiety, you regard the situation as intolerable. Your are, however, sufficiently competent to turn that situation around - you have overcome similar problems in the past, and really this one isn't too different.

You enjoy taking part in anything that may constitute fun and excitement. You need to be stimulated and need to feel that 'Life is worth living' and you are awaiting that stimulation and you don't particularly care where it comes from!

At times one is burdened with more than one's fair share of problems and this would appear to be your situation at present. But you are adamant - you know what you wish to achieve - and by giving a little and taking a little you may well find that the realization of your dreams could become a reality.

As of late, you have been experiencing untold stress and this is a result of continuous frustration. You haven't been taking care of all your physical needs and it's beginning to show. It would seem that you have a need to find someone to whom you can really relate - someone perhaps whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to be individualistic - to stand out from the common herd. Your inherent control of your sensual instincts is restricting your ability to give yourself to open up freely but this being on your own, being lonely, often makes you feel the need to give up some of your strict standards to surrender to the general flow - to be like everyone else; a part of the herd. Deep down you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You would like to be loved or admired for yourself alone. You demand recognition and tender loving care.

You have so many ideas that you would like to revitalise but you need to realise a stable and peaceful condition to do so. Once you can free yourself from all the aggravation and tension around you, you will make strides that may amaze you. You will not be prevented from achieving all the things you so desire.

Partially true.. Partially not..
Whatever...

Just finished lunch..

I had Yong Tao Fu..
and baby had the same too!
and we're like ends apart..
Me being in ubi (east) and him in school (west)

Talk about telepathy..... :P

Read in my online devotion about pornography..
(no.. I'm not watching it.. it was WRITTEN in my devotion..)
About resisting temptation..
About the holiness of sex that's supposed to be kept within marriage vows only..

The devotion talked about this hit "show", Girls Gone Wild..
a proud creation of Joseph Francis..

Went to the net and found out a little more about it..
(you can read if you want)
I'm amazed and disgusted at what people will do just for a hat or t-shirt!

Just because it's a "brand"..
girls are willing to bare all for those items..

The things people will do just to get something they want.......

~What is this world becoming...~

Sigh..

Baby lost his wallet..
Again..

This time on bus 156 that was heading in the direction of clementi..

His wallet apparently dropped out of his pocket..

Sigh..

Second wallet..

~Is it because of me? I wonder...~

Just reached home not so long ago..

Came home from Mediacorp taking 156..
It's the first time I took this kind of bus..
and I'm glad I got to take it with baby..

This 156 is super cool..
it's known as a nokia music mobile..

The concept of the pub mirrors that of a pub..
The seats are very comfortable (although the seating capacity is generally lesser)..
There's a "bar counter" with 2 seats..

I would have taken pictures if the lighting permits but it was too dark..
Sadly, I can't find any pictures on the web as well..

If you have a chance..
Go take the bus..

I guarantee that it'll be an interesting experience..

Daddy fetched me to work today..

Baby couldn't wake up for school because he's too tired..

Both dar and I didn't want to go to work..
but here we are..

Will be going for the dance floor later..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Office politics..
It's common in every office..

PwC probably is one of the best cultured working places..
without the back-stabbings that are usually present in other working places be it in offices or restaurants..

The current place I'm working in has common "aunties"..
those who gossip..
and complain about everything under the sun..

I do try as much as possible to avoid any association with their topics unless it has regards to me..

I really miss working in PwC..
Couldn't be happier there..

Baby came down to fetch me from work yesterday..
So happy.. :)

Then we had dinner before he sent me home..

Baby..
Ron..
I'm sorry..
Something was wrong with my handphone or the connection..
Because I really did sms you to tell you I'm home..
and ron..
I did reply..

The wonders of technology..
and the problems with not having them..
A simple "connection" problem (I think it is.. because I received some sms sent yesterday early this morning at about 7+)
might cause misunderstandings..

Whatever it is..
I'm really sorry..
If it happens again..
I'll complain to starhub..

It has never crossed your mind before that I'd feel lonely when you ignore me..
Because to you..
You think that I've got many people to talk to..

Well..
I don't..

I don't know nor do I care what your friends think of me..
but it matters to me what you think..

When you don't talk to me..
I've got no one to talk to..

I don't sms other people..
I don't call others..
because I don't want to rely on them..

I don't even tell dar..
because I know she's got her own set of problems..
her own worries..
and I don't want to add an extra to her list..

I don't know if you're getting tired of me..
Maybe you are..
Maybe you're tired of the relationship..
that's why it seems that you're blowing hot and cold..
I don't know..

I really don't..

~If your heart's not in it... will I know?~

I don't need a boyfriend who's got tons of money..
I don't need one who lives in a mansion..
Or who has a few containers of cars..
I don't need a boyfriend who can bring me around the world..
Or one who can splurge on my material needs..
Or can bring me to posh restaurants every other day..

Though it might be every girl's dream..
That I don't need..

All I need is you..

Your love,
care,
concern..
Is all I need..

~Sometimes I wonder if I'm trying too hard.... ~