I FINALLY gt my lap top back.. sorry for nt blogging guys..

Things have been on the rocks for the both of us recently.. he keeps saying tt I dun have time for him.. tt I dun care.. dun bother..

Maybe it really is me.. my fault for nt having time for him.. bt still he shouldn't have said somethings he said..

We quarrelled on the hp 2 early mornings before.. it lasted for 2 over hrs.. n ended with me saying tt I wanted to go to slp.. bt the truth is far frm tt.. I couldn't slp till 6+, 7..

I was supposed to go out with Xian Xiang yest.. in the end.. I went to catch a movie with him instead.. nt tt I mind.. bt I had to let Xian Xiang find his own entertainment.. So sorry.. I was juz trying to do smtg to hopefully salvage the situation..
He's sick.. wanted to find med to bring for him.. bt couldn't find it.. so didn't go down.. Besides.. I was sick.. n I took med 1 hr before I decided to go to slp.. n he msged me to say tt I didn't care..

In all this.. I was at fault.. for nt respecting him.. for nt caring enough.. for being too bz n caught up with my stuff..
He said I've changed.. I wasn't like this b4.. I showed him due respect n all b4 this.. maybe I did.. maybe all tt's happened is a sign..

It's no longer a choice.. It's a final decision.. whether to stick thru it.. or to choose the easier.. yet harder choice.. I dun wanna think of tt as a choice..

Nth.. is fair.. U might be selfish n want what u hope to have bt nth is as simple as it seems.. U all might tell me nt to think so much.. bt prob it's juz me.. the same as him.. he totally LOVES to be pessimistic over EVERYTHING n even when I tell him otherwise.. He'll still think in tt way.. n am I to take the blame for everything? It's nt fair when ALL the blame is pushed to me in a quarrel although I know tt I do have my misgivings.. n it isn't fair tt we're quarrelling!

I guess tt there are alternatives to learning what u muz learn n to do what u muz.. n nt juz what u feel like doing.. tt's the difference between who u are.. n who u think u are..

Now.. I dunno what I want.. I dunno what is happening.. y it is.. bt I guess.. in time.. I will..

It all takes time...