I'm nt giving tuition anymore.. Cherie's mum decided to find another tuition tchr.. gd for me too.. cos it's like I wun be free for the nxt 2 mths.. n yet I dun wanna affect Cherie's results.. oh.. she gt her results back.. n she improved in all her subjects.. so happy for her.. guess tt's the gd thing abt being a tuition tchr.. when u see ur student performing well.. u feel happy for him/her..

Went for kb today.. gt shifu to help me with my aching.. foot and wrist.. then shifu helped me to put med on my ankle.. nat's left toe is wrapped up too.. haha.. so funny.. one left.. one right.. so funny.. :P

Today.. almost quarrelled with him again..

I dunno.. dun scold me when I dun tell u stuff.. it's juz so obvious y I dun.. it's nt cos I dun care.. or cos I dun wanna tell u.. it's cos I juz dun like talking..
At times I feel like I'm nt so impt..
Other times I juz can't understand y others can understand me easily and yet u cant..
Or maybe u do.. bt u dunno how to express it..
I really dun wanna quarrel with u alr.. getting tired of it...

Today was.. ok..

Fasted.. bt it wasn't tt ez cos I had diaorrhea.. my stomach ached the WHOLE day..

Cherie forgt abt tuition.. then I had to reschedule..

Her mum called me n talked to me abt it.. sigh.. I dunno.. think I might give up on teaching.. in this way, I'll be able to concentrate on my studies more..

I'm so tired.. It seems to be a matter of time b4 I finally break down.. cos I've really nt been resting v well..

God.. Grant me peace so tt I can rest...
Help me to be hardworking and not lazy so that I can study and do well.. not for me.. bt for U..

This blogskin is given to me by Lloyd.. thx a lot..

Dear's family is.. well.. let's juz say tt each family has a story of their own.. Unique to their own..

His has probs with his grandad n cousin.. as in maternal grandad n paternal cousin.. the grandad's living off the family n complains.. rather he accuses the family of stealing frm him.. so he locked his room n cleverly forgot to take the key out of his rm, hence locking himself out of the room.. his cousin is another one tt lives off the family.. he's a graduate in I dunno what course bt he's nt been working for coming 3 yrs..

Tt's y he doesn't like going home.. cos when he goes home.. more than 1/2 the time, he'll be home alone..

In the coming 2 wks I've gotta start studying.. I hope tt I'll be able to concentrate..

God.. thank you for stopping the bleeding.. grant Ptr Cheah speedy recovery.. continue to sustain him..

Ptr's Cheah's condition is critical.. he's been transfered to the ICU..

Tmr, FE n CE will be fasting frm 7am to 7pm.. then they'll be having a break fast together.. then prayer mtg at 8pm..

This shows how frail life is.. one min u might be fine.. the nxt u're sick.. the nxt u're unconscious n ur life is hanging on the line..

This happening has certainly affected the church in a v large way..
Besides.. there's this controversy going on...

Somehow.. I can't help bt think tt God is trying to show us tt although we might disagree on the D & R matter.. and our conflicting thoughts might cause a huge disagreement within the church.. tt we are aft all still a part of each other.. we are STILL one church.. we STILL believe in the same God.. we STILL believe in the same things.. juz tt we dun agree on some issues..

Today for image n etiquette we learnt how to make-up.. quite interesting..

Ptr Cheah's ill... VERY ill.. We covet ur prayers..

He's gt dengue fever last wk.. hospitalised on sunday.. ruptured a vein on his arm and had to go for surgery less he lose his arm.. and then he was bleeding profusely.. and it can't stop..

For the 1st time in a long time.. we've had congregation prayer.. 10pm.. no matter where u are..

Ptr Cheah's a great person.. understanding.. caring.. CE needs him..

My EC presentation was screwed.. somehow.. suddenly.. I can't present on the adding new account.. so I suppose tt's going to affect the results a whole deal..

Attended Student's council mtg.. nt cos I wanted to.. bt cos i had to.. cos I had to take minutes.. frm the mtg.. I found out more abt Alvin.. it's more.. much more than what I alr knew.. sigh..

Dear made me a bottle of orange honey.. as in freshly squeezed orange.. with honey.. n he did it while he was on the phone with me last nite.. n he waited for me at the bus stop bt I didn't turn up cos I was kept awake by my coughing the whole night.. I'm sorry... I know u were quite pissed.. sorry....

God.. grant me strength to go thru this.. help the church.. pray tt U will grant Ptr Cheah speedy recovery..

When u wanna comment.. whatever u wanna say.. whatever u mean.. DUN juz look at it frm ur point of view.. smtimes.. MANY TIMES.. u've gotta be in tt person's shoes to know what he/she is feeling..

A 3rd person's perspective might be biased if he/she doesn't know the whole story.. otherwise.. it wun be empathatic..

Opportunity only knocks once.. Miss it n it'll nv come back again..

Other times.. u've gotta look at both sides of the coin.. it rarely is a one-sided thing.. usually both sides..

Dun judge the book by it's cover.. dun look at a handsome guy or pretty gal and think tt he/she muz be gd in character.. dun base it on the things he/she do for u.. take time to understand.. to know the person..

When a problem arises.. it hardly is the fault of 1 person.. it's the fault of both.. like what they say.. it takes 2 to tango..

Quarrelling.. is a total waste of time.. I dun understand y ppl can't juz sit down n talk calmly.. what's the use of getting so worked up??? Is it even going to solve anything???

I've learnt tt in facing any situation.. it's impt to keep calm.. to remain cool.. tt there's no use in getting all emotional cos tt will nv solve anything.. it only clouds ur judgement.. making things harder for u to see..

N most imptly.. muz pray.. cos most of the things.. most judgements u make.. most decisions.. might be wrong.. and God.. is nv wrong.. so muz ask Him for guidance.. n even if the ans isn't what u want.. u muz be humble enough to accept it..

I dun wanna quarrel.. I dun wanna say anything k..

Dun think so much.. dun ask so much..

Juz pray abt it..

Hopefully things will tide over..

Home..

Today was some day.. AAA lecture.. PMKT presentation..

The presentation was ok.. or so he says..

Aft PMKT, I was SUPPOSED to go for OM lecture.. bt I didn't.. I was stuck doing my EC.. and it's still screwed..

Rachel was SUPPOSED to look for Nellie.. n she told met tt she did bt Nellie wasn't at her table.. then she said tt she ask her fren to see if her fren can help..

I dunno.. is this called IRRESPONSIBLE???

She asked me if I wanna look for Nellie at 12 tmr with her.. like.. NO!!! I'm having OM tutorial.. yes.. I haven't done my tutorial yet.. I've gt like NO TIME alr..

I was feeling pissed.. quite.. then it's like.. I had to say it out.. I had to let it out.. bt sm ppl weren't free..

It's ok if it happens once or twice.. I can understand.. bt everytime? Like it juz so happens tt when I'm feeling pissed.. sm ppl aren't available.. nt tt I can blame......

I dunno if it's pushing me away.. cos I really dun feel tt strongly alr..

I dun wanna discuss abt it..

He was quite temperamental these 2 days.. and I dunno y..

Prob cos he's tired..

My EC proj isn't going well.. it's going badly in fact.. Rachel really ISN'T doing ANYTHING!!! It's like.. I'm trying to give her stuff to do.. so tt she'll at least pass the proj.. bt.. she's nt doing ANYTHING.. n the deadline's on wed... well done..

I gt my attachment posting today.. I'm posted to CNP!!! :) At least outsourcing works.. :P

Dar, AK n Lloyd is attached to OCBC.. haha.. so I can go to work with dar.. :).. If I'm working at the main office tt is.. bt I think so.. this time.. I'll be doing admin stuff when I go there..

Daddy's in Halo as I type.. so I can't acc him back tonite.. didn't really see him today.. n he's in such a bad mood.. dun wanna step onto his tail or anything..

Corrinne May's songs are NICE!!! Her voice is crystal clear.. sweet.. meaningful lyrics too..

Planning lotsa stuff.. like what to do.. where to go.. what to get... yah.. cannot divulge too much.. :)

Dar acc me to church today.. so nice.. :)

Today's sermon was given by UCS cos Ptr Cheah fell sick.. he was down with high fever.. hope he's feeling better now..

The sermon was gd.. it was abt being lively stones in the church.. tt we should hold firm to Christ n His word as our centre..

Went to buy shoes for presentation.. borrowed money cos I was low on cash..

I'm sorry k.. I didn't mean to be so irritating.. maybe I'm juz nt understanding enough.. bt I really wasn't unhappy.. I'm sorry... so sorry..

I wun force u to go to church.. I know tt u want to.. bt u can't.. I wun ask u to lie to get urself to church.. cos it's wrong to lie in the first plc.. I know it's going to be hard.. bt I pray tt God will allow it.. tt He will allow us to continue.. n IF He doesn't.. dun be too upset..

Ok... so my blog have ONCE AGAIN attracted 'passers-by'..

First and foremost, I can start to see y ppl say tt I'm nt Christian.. cos def.. i haven't been walking close to God n sm of the things tt I feel like doing.. for example to defend myself against the criticism made against me.. aren't exactly right..

2ndly.. I'm fine with u all posting ur views.. bt to the extend tt u all post it LIKE THIS.. I've really gotta think if I should take away my tagboard..

3rdly.. There're ups n downs in EVERYBODY's lives.. I'm v sure everyone of u have been thru them..

I have to admit tt I dun try to seek His will enough.. I know tt I shouldn't be doing sm stuff tt I'm doing.. and what do u want me to do abt it? Undo all tt I've done?

Be ye nt unequally yoked with unbelievers.. what? Break off? Juz cos he's nt a christian? I believe tt God can work His spirit in his heart if He wants.. like my dar.. she didn't use to believe.. bt now.. she can msg me and tell me tt she wanna go to church with me to take a look.. and she believes.. it's a total change of mindset and belief.. IT'S POSSIBLE.. it juz takes time.. and God's providence.. IF He wants..

IF things dun work out.. I'll take the necessary steps..

I'm bz.. n I know tt being too bz is NT gd.. cos it takes away devotional time and quality time spent with God.. n I wun make excuses for y I'm bz.. I wun say tt it's cos of sch or what else nt.. cos sm ppl can do it.. y cant I?

It juz says tt I'm nt tt committed yet.. Faith and believing is one thing.. Commitment is another.. I'm working towards tt..

If u wanna post nasty remarks.. do it somewhere else..
It'll be much appreciated..

I'm having my mkting tutorial now..

BORING.. bt what to do.. he's taking a v long time.. it's 40mins into the tutorial n he's only at the 1st tutorial.. qns 2.. part 2.. this tutorial has 4 qns.. the nxt one has 5.. I'm sure he's going to take almost FOREVER...

I'm tired.. n I'm hungry.. didn't have dinner last night.. slept at ard 3+.. almost fell aslp during AAA lecture juz now.. didn't understand a single thing the lecturer was talking abt.. cash flow analysis..

The classroom is stuffy.. I can't juz cater to those who feel cold.. cos it's unfair to the rest..

And I better concentrate..

I'm in SU now.. yah.. still here.. tried doing my AAA tutorial.. sigh.. cmi.. dunno how to do..

Juz came back frm Galileo n... yah.. haha.. Ken, Chee How n Sham went to Halo to watch Premier League highlights.. so I tagged along.. else I'll be left alone in SU..

Yest.. went out with dear n dar.. wanted to go to marina to watch fireworks.. bt it was drizzling n we didn't wanna go there to eat.. so we walked along orchard.. only to go back to taka's Seoul Garden.. the food there wasn't all tt fantastic.. there wasn't a lot of variety.. n we saw Cai Ling there.. yah.. as in.. TT Cai Ling.. Ng Cai Ling.. ok.. I dunno so many Cai Lings tt will strike tt kinda bell.. so.. if u know u know.. if u dun then nvm.. :P
Yah.. she was there with a guy.. supposedly bf.. I think.. bt anyway.. I dun think he's any gd.. I mean.. Robin's def better.. really.. tt guy doesn't look better.. he's only taller.. so whatever.. it's nt my prob.. it's her prob tt she dunno howta appreciate him..

Dear's the best.. :)

Dar.. dun stress k.. whatever it is.. I'll still be here.. really.. although it seems tt I dun spend a lot of time with u.. I'll still be here.. call me.. I'll do whatever I can.. I dunno what happened btwn u n ak.. hope u all are ok now..

I love u... really.. dun give up on me k...?

Had a LONG day..

IEF..

Tea session..

Mtg...

Feeling quite drained now..

I know tt I can't keep up like this for too long.. I know tt I'm overworking myself more by the day.. bt it's nt as though I can do much.. so many proj.. presentations..
I should really focus on doing my work...

The hot topic.. Lloyd.. I dunno if it's juz me.. or is everything tt he say a direct insult to me..

At times he seems ok.. bt when he starts to brag.. or when he says sm stuff.. I dun even know if it's gone thru his brain before.. maybe it did.. bt it didn't go thru his heart.. cos he apparently didn't seem to know how it felt when he started criticising..

He said tt I was the kinda gal tt "guy-hops".. tt I'll 1st find a stable one.. then go find others.. n if it doesn't work out.. I'll juz fall back on the "stable" one..

I know tt I shouldn't return an eye for an eye.. bt sometimes it's SOOO hard.. it's like.. I dunno.. many ppl dun like him.. n it's ez to fall into tt catogary cos he really is irritating..

Yet, as a christian.. I should show gd christian testimony.. which means tt I'm supposed to love my enemies as myself.. it's ezier said than done.. more so when the "victim of abuse" is myself.. frm this I can actually see tt Jesus is v great.. He's able to love His enemies even when they tortured Him, hurled abuses at Him and ridiculed Him..

Human as we are.. we are prone to sin.. anger.. bitterness.. n most definitely revenge.. when ppl insult us.. the usual rebuttal is to defend urself.. to shoot down whatever u think is false.. If u study into the life of Jesus.. u'll actually come to see tt He nv once did tt.. n it takes a lot of patience.. and humility..

Can I do tt?

God.. help me.. let me be a candle in the dark.. though small bt still shining bright...

Was bored.. so did more quizzes...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


You are a pure dreamer! You are innocent, light,
and sweet like cotton candy!

What Kind Of Dreamer Are You? (Anime Picz)
brought to you by Quizilla

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


You're a complete sweetheart! You always seem to be
in a good mood. You try to be nice to and help
everyone, even when they don't deserve it.
That's great, but don't become a doormat! Your
idol would be someone like Reese Witherspoon.

What Kind of girl are you? (pretty results!)
brought to you by Quizilla

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Many people see you as Truly Nice! Congratulations
on being a nice, smart, and generally a happy
person! It's hard to find nice people nowadays!

What Do People Truly See You As? (lots of outcomes and stunning pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


People see happiness in your eyes! You are most
likely a really awesome person who trys to
enjoy life. You can usually see the good in any
situation or person. You bring joy wherever you
go in life and probably have a really good set
of friends. But sometimes you may strive too
hard to be happy and may try to fool yourself
and others. In this case, it's not good to hold
in your feelings, and you should try to find
someone to talk to about what's bothering you
instead of covering it up. But, all in all you
usually get over these situations quickly and
can continue living life to its fullest! Go
you! ^_^

What can people see in your eyes?(great ANIME pics)((IMPROVED!!!))
brought to you by Quizilla

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Your element is Light: Innocent, beautiful,
kind-hearted and pure. You are so sweet your
almost angelic, you find joy in others
happiness and cannot stand to see anyone in
pain. You want to make everyone around you feel
good about themselves and if someone is upset
you can tend to become rather upset as well
which means you are sympathetic and raise
others above yourself. Being as kind and
good-natured as you are people have most likely
hurt you in the past but you pick yourself up
every time. You may look fragile but you are
stronger than most tend to see. Life is
beautiful no matter how you look at it and you
understand that people make mistakes, not
everyone is perfect. You try to see the good in
the bad which is a talent few posses, dont ever
let anyone change you. You truly have a
beautiful soul inside and a heart of gold.

.:-What is your true element?-:. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by Quizilla

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


You need love.
You are a pretty normal, well-rounded person
that just craves that fairy tale love where you
will be swept off your feet and live happily
ever after. Chances are that you fantasize or
dream about it so much that you either see all
the guys/girls as unromantic or you tell
yourself that anyone could be your soulmate.
You long to have someone by your side and you
want to give back on the romance part too, not
just give.

What Do You Need in Your Life? [dark pics]
brought to you by Quizilla

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Ok you are a romantic anime girl and you love and
care for a lot of people.There is no evil in
you soul or your heart.Though sometimes people
don't feel the same way as you do you keep on
trying to change their mind.You love to help
people out and you are always happy.Keep on
trying to make the whole world smile because
you know smiles are contagious ^_^.Oh and if it
seems like there is nobody who could love you
as much as you could love them it doesn't
matter the thing is that the only thing that
matters is that he cares and loves you and it
doesn't matter how much well maybe it does but
don't set your standards to high cuz then you'll
find nobody

If You Were An Anime Character What Would You Look Like?(Girls Only)
brought to you by Quizilla

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Your word is: Brooding. You are a true thinker and
often try to figure out the meaning of life,
why we are all here etc. You may not be so
social, and often think twice before acting but
those thoughts you have in your mind never stop
flowing in. Sometimes you can be so
concentrated you forget about other things that
you have to do. Don't change, this world needs
deep people.

What Dark Word Represents You? [anime pics]
brought to you by Quizilla

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok.. I think tt should be enough..

I found out tt dear's results for the quiz are the same as mine...

R we so similar?

Is tt gd?
Is it nt?

I dunno...

Read Wei Er's blog.. can see tt's she's blissfully engaged.. sm of the qns asked.. which she wonderfully ans is v enlightening..

Yes.. u can nv tell when God is going to let tt special someone come into ur life n when u're going to get married.. bt smtimes.. it's possible to alr make plans.. like.. I'm nt going to get married.. although I hope to.. there's this strong feeling tt I wun.. maybe I'll be wrong.. bt usually I'm nt..

I wun know.. only God does..
n I better get working on the prezzie tt I wanna give them.. I dun have lotsa time left..

Was browsing thru Greg's blog when I saw this.. so decided to take it.. haha..


Cocktail

?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Your personality is best represented by the
traditional Japanese Katana. You are brave
beyond words and rarely (if ever) act for your
own personal gain. Your honor is very
important to you, and you strive to better
yourself and help others. You try not to let
emotions get in the way of making a sound
decision, and are usually quite successful.

What sort of Weapon best Represents your Personality? (anime pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


You are a protector.
Yes, you don't like to kill people. That goes
against everything you belive in. It's not that
you are a coward, but your ideals and morals
wouldn't allow it. You are the typical hero, do
the righteous things, get the bad guys and do
it all legally. But just because you don't kill
doesn't mean you can't kick ass. And that is
what you do. You use your brain and your
strenght to do honourable deeds and protect
people you know and love. If an evil guy is
going to take over the world soon, it's you who
will get involved. You hate watching innocents
suffer, and love seeing bad people getting what
they deserve. You are probably also happy and
optimistic and work pretty good in groups. And
the friends you usually make are true ones.

Main weapon: Anything at all
Quote: "You only live once, but if
you do it right, once is enough" -Joe
Lewis
Facial expression: Smile

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A beautiful angel. God would hand pick you to be
his right hand angel. You are a blessing
beyond blessings. You are kind and helpful
towards everyone and everything. You also have
a smile to lighten up the world. You believe
everything deserves a chance to thrive and live
on to greatness. To you, everything has a
purpose and a way of living and you hold no
grudge against it.

What Angel Resides In Your Soul?
brought to you by Quizilla

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What do u all think?

Had a family gathering at my plc today.. My grandfather, aunties, uncle and 2 cousins (paternal) came over for steamboat lunch..

Aft I had my fair share (I wasn't hungry so I didn't really eat.. bt had to cos I drank a little) I went to his plc to study.. didn't really get to study a lot cos I reached there quite late n we wanted to go out aft tt..

We went to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory aft tt.. it was really an interesting movie.. very cute.. n funny too!

I wrote a little smtg over at his plc.. there are sm parts of it tt he didn't really like reading.. I know.. bt..

Here goes..

Loving someone means having to accept her past, present and future...
It means standing on her side even if all evidences point against her...
It means staying with her even if everybody walks out...

Pain and sorrow is part and parcel of every relationship
The key is to treasure and cherish every happy moment

Nothing ever goes the way we want it to...
Although you might not like it,
You still have to face it cos it MIGHT come true.
So it'll still link back
Even if we dun want it to happen tt way
We'll never know...

If...
Everything were to end...
Let it end on a happy note
And not forget the times we had
And the LOVE we had for each other...

After which...
We'll lead our separate lives...
Move on as usual...
When we see each other again
May we be smiling at each other
Wishing the best for one another
And not crying at the back view of the other...
With regrets...

Dear.. I know how u feel.. I know u dun wanna lose me.. neither do I.. bt everything is up to God.. I pray tt He'll lead u to Him.. bt it's nt up to me to decide...

Love u..

Hello!

Ok.. today.. had lessons still quite late.. then went to Marina Bay.. wanted to watch fireworks bt it's at 12 midnite.. so had to forgo it..

Talked to dear.. then we cried a bit.. bt kinda gt closer.. smtimes I wonder y I would hurt him so much.. I cant bear to do it.. bt I juz do.. sigh..

Saw Stephanie on the way back.. she gt on the bus with her bf.. they went to newton circus to eat a PRAWN.. tt's nt all tt fantastic bt cost them $21.. Sooo ex! haha..

Ok..I'm feeling tired.. going to rest..

Today's lesson is fun.. Uncle Daniel used psychology to describe how our minds afffect and control the way we think.. so tt affects the way we listen too.. Bias can be both positive and negative.. well.. shouldn't say too much.. else it wun be fun nxt time.. haha..

Didn't go out yest.. neither did I today.. haha.. guess I shouldn't stay out so much.. will spend A LOT.. n.. no point.. nth much to do outside anyway.. unless I'm out with Diana.. else being out alone isn't all tt fun..

I've gt nth to do now.. guess I can juz rot.. n rot.. will study tmr..

Oh.. Wei Er's back..
N I wanna get a Christian bf..

I dunno what to do..

Miss u dear..

Yest's presentation wasn't all tt gd.. I can't say tt it can't be blamed.. cos it really is our fault tt we should have prepared the presentation before hand.. n should practice b4 tt.. bt.. what's done's done.. so there's nth tt can be done..

The National Day thingy was boring.. aft tt went to look for dear.. then we went out with Jamie n Colin..

Dear.. so sorry.. I know tt I didn't have lotsa time to spend with u this week.. so u were upset.. so sorry... really.. I wasn't sensitive enough.. I was too... bad.. I'm so sorry.. I know tt u're nt free to acc me.. tt made u v upset.. I really didn't mean to make u upset..

I should have been better.. I should have been more sensitive.. u were so quiet the whole day.. I only knew tt u were troubled.. bt I didn't know y.. I'm so sorry...

I loved the rose.. v nice..

GOOD MORNING!!!

No.. ur eyes aren't playing tricks on u.. it really is 5.30am now..
I didn't wake up..
I didn't slp..
Nat accompanied me..
I woke greg up..
I woke dear up..
Daddy woke up..

Haha..
I dunno what I'm doing..
I've done all I could..
Whatever's left is what I can't do..
Although they might say tt whatever I wrote is crap n prob end up re-writing everything AGAIN..
At least I've tried..

Ok.. I'm having my OM tutorial now.. listening while typing this..

Gt back all my results alr.. I really did horribly.. sigh.. muz start mugging alr.... :(

PMKT: 36.5/50
OM: 28/50

Well.. I did expect tt I wun do well in the first plc.. haha.. whatever..

Yest, went for tuition.. Leon came back n he didn't even noticed tt I was there until he turned back and saw me.. haha.. when I left, his mum actually... "reminded" him to say gdbye to me..

He was like quite nonchalent the whole time.. then when I left.. he smsed me.. asked me to tc on my way back..

For all tt u've done..
All tt u've nt..
All tt I wish u did bt didn't..
All tt I wish u didn't bt did..
All tt I nv expect u to do..
All tt u were expected to do..
If only u were a little better..
If only u'd cared more..
If only...

All those r in the past now..

Found out tt there's this gal who attracts him a lot.. bt she's his fren's gf.. n I met her b4 if I nv rmb wrongly.. she happens to be frenz with Wei Ming n Li Ying.. mmm.. small world isn't it.. rather.. small Singapore.. haha..

Dear is SOOO tired today.. I know.. can't blame him either.. if I had trained so much yest nite.. I would be v tired today too.. esp if I had to wake up so early in the morning for boring IS lessons..

Bought a top today for my presentation.. it's nice.. :) I like it! Haha..

As a result of all my various activities today.. like paying for sch fees, buying my bus concession n buying my top.. I'm officially BROKE.. my current assets is a single digit.. therefore..

I would like to call out to all generous souls to help save POOR (literally) Deborah.. for donations, pls email to me and send I'll send u the plc to send ur money.. ;P

This is what nat was wearing the day she came down to look for me.. see the bus' window? She put on my track pants n jacket... looks quite funny.. :P 

Simple Plan - Untitled

I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

This is my new favourite.. really v nice.. v meaningful too...

Kenneth juz broke up with Nat... cos according to him, he feels for her more like a sis than a lover..
I know I'm in no position to comment.. bt I really think tt it's a waste..
So.. they're remaining as friends.. n nth more..

When I see ppl breaking up.. I can't help bt think abt myself.. abt what might happen.. what happened.. what's happening to me.. ard me..

The gd thing is.. she's optimistic.. unlike me.. whenever a rlsp ends.. I'll juz be SOOO despondent.. it seems like I'll nv get on my feet again until I finally walk out of the shadows.. for tt.. I really admire her.. n muz learn frm her.. bt I guess.. everybody's different.. in they way they react to different things.. maybe it's cos of the degree of commitment.. the difference in the things tt couples do together.. the difference in the feelings towards the other party..

Dear.. I know I'm getting irritating.. prob I'm wanting too much.. taking up too much time.. I'm sorry.. I'll back off a little.. give u more space.. cos.. Le Chandelier's principle.. smtg like.. if u're too possessive, the person will want more freedom.. woohoo! Choo is going to be so proud of me.. I can still rmb! Haha..

Gdness..
I'm crazy.....

Ok.. I somewhat rmb what I wanted to write...

I met Richard on Fri.. he passed me my b'day pressie.. it was smtg he made.. a piece of wood with my name carved on it.. then I saw a box of Marbolo Mentol in his bag.. I was like.."what is this doing with u.." then he was quite nonchalent when he said tt it's his..

So he either smokes.. or he knows tt I hate smoking.. tt's y he purposely put it there.. I dunno.. n even when ppl tell me nt to blame myself.. I feel partially to be blamed.. If I hadn't.. he'd prob nt be smoking.. or he'd nt need to lie to me tt he is..

I was so upset tt day.. I was abt to cry bt crying wun solve anything.. n I gt to work.. so I couldn't..

Thank God for dear.. He came down n acc me.. even if it was juz for a short period of time.. at least he was there..

Dear.. I know tt I'm unreasonable.. n I prob am getting worst.. I'm so sorry... there're juz things tt I've gotta make sure.. things tt I've gotta see.. know.. prioritise..
IF.. I no longer want to spend so much time with u..
IF.. I dun talk to u so much frm now..
I'm sorry..
It's nt cos I dun care abt u anymore.. I still do...

I had all my thoughts ready.. I was so sure of what to write.. n now?


I totally have no idea what I wanted to.. or want to write..

I saw Leon's blog.. the latest entry was on how ppl take others for granted or how ppl use others.. then I saw tt he wrote abt me..

I found out today tt Wei Er's engaged to Joshua Higgs.. she's only been to Australia for 3-4 mths n she gt engaged.. She's 20.. He's 19.. they're going to get married nxt yr.. so nice..

I dunno y.. bt lately I've been feeling different.. I dunno how to explain..

If I act strange.. if I'm weird.. if I start ignoring u.. if...
I'm sorry...

There're just somethings that I've gotta straighten up..
Maybe this wun last..
Maybe we wun..
Everything is up to God..

In the library now.. finished looking for pics for the IEF proj's presentation.. Am here with dear, AK, Zhi Wei, Lloyd, Clara, Wee Hoon n Amy..

Actually had nth much to do today.. then greg msged me yest n asked if could do proj today.. then wilson called me during IEF tutorial to ask me to work.. like &!#%$#%$#$^&%$^@ I wanted to acc dear today!!!
*sobz*

Yest, went to Halo aft tuition.. didn't drink a lot.. the fried rice frm SIM is VERY NICE! Really.. u all should try it.. it was quite big a portion so I took quite a while to finish it..

Dear's walking ard like a zombie.. dunno what's wrong.. he seems v tired recently.. muz slp well kz....

Everything in 1! 

Dear n I.. n my bouquets.. see the gal behind him? Gd looking rite... he says so too... 

Me n my roses 

Present frm dar n ak.. CUTE!!! 

My blue rose with Rochers! 2 favourites.. blue rose and chocolates!!! 

My bouquet of 9 blue roses... Beautiful rite??? 

All my presents!!! 

I gt back my AAA results.. I passed.. 87/100..
Passed OM.. dunno the results..
Passed IEF.. oso dunno the results.. passed the sypnosis bt the comments nt so much..
Passed EC.. 60.5/100.. at least I passed..

Now..
Left with PMKT.. will only get it nxt wk..
Hope I'll pass too...

Yest was my 18th b'day.. I had a great time..

During the course of the day, I received many smses frm ppl.. Christine, Marcus Pang, Jing Rui (YPS), Min Li (YPS), Li Ping (YCKPS), Junius, Darren Chua, Chun Xiang msged me ard 2+, Xian Xiang msged me last nite at 11.50.. Andrew Teng, Felicia, kor.. Long Quan msged while I was having dinner.. Wan Cai, Leon's mum.. Leon n Wan Hong called me.. Greg, Anthea.. Chin Pei n Ker Hsien msed me today.. Pui Suan told me on msn..

Yest's events were quite a handful.. 1st.. we couldn't get on the bus.. so we gt Robin to come n fetch us to sch.. :P
Went to meet dear once we reached sch n he gave me a bouquet.. 1 stalk of blue rose.. 6 rochers..
In the LT.. he gave me another bouquet.. this time with 9 blue roses..

Went to Cine for lunch at Kobayashi.. then nat came.. we headed to Lido to watch Bug Me Not.. VERY CUTE!!! Aft tt, dear had to leave..

Dar n Nat bought me a slice of oreo cheesecake n we had ice cream at haagen daaz..

Aft nat left, dar n I met up with Yizhao.. we went to Mushroom pot for dinner.. aft tt, took a cab back.. Yizhao is SOOO nice.. he paid for everything.. dinner.. cab fare..

Dear was at the car park opposite my blk.. he was preparing smtg.. he tried to light up the car park with candles.. although he didn't manage to cos the wind was quite strong.. there was the effect.. He put the words, "Happy Birthday" n "I Love U"..
The word love was in the form of a heart.. n a crystal rose was in the middle of it..
Very sweet.. no one has ever done this for me b4..
I've NV celebrated my b'day attached b4.. haha.. this is the 1st time..

Although things didn't really go according to plan cos the big bouquet was supposed to be sent to the LT by the florist.. the small bouquet was supposed to be sent to the classroom by his freshie.. the last rose was supposed to be in the form of a bouquet.. in the end, the florist said tt he can't send the flowers to the LT.. I didn't have tutorial so he couldn't send the small bouquet to the classroom and the florist wrapped the last rose in a box.. I was VERY happy.. he really put in a lot of effort..

I gt a container of sweets n a pencil case frm dar n ak, a pair of earrings frm nat, a set of Chinese opera masks frm Chun Xiang, a bottle of perfume frm Yizhao, another pair of earrings frm dear, a ring frm my sisters, a bag frm Cherie.. n lotsa love frm dar n dear..

Thanks a lot.. I'd nv be able to be so happy if nt for u 2.. u 2 planned a lot..

Love ya...
*muacks*

Juz came back frm msia yest.. had quite a time there.. getting criticised by ppl is one of it.. sigh..

Today.. I gt an ang bao frm Cherie's mum.. had dinner with them too..

Thx to..
Qi Zhi, Richard, Chris, dar, AK, Robin, Norman n Jia Wei for their bday sms..
Yi Zhao for calling me..
Hun, Han Qin n Marcus Chin for msging me on msn..

Thx guys.. u make my day special!

Wei Jian gt IN!!!

Okok.. tt's nt the emphasis of my 1st blog entry aft a long time.. :P

Miss me???

1st off.. Common tests so far has been only one word.. SUCKY.. the only one tt didn't suck tt bad was PMKT.. so far tt is.. I haven't studied A SINGLE THING for my EC.. I'm sooooo going to fail..

Dreaded.. is it juz me? Or are the modules harder to cope with..

Is it me? Or am I relying too much on myself?

I.. dun really know anymore..

While my supposed future looks more "bright".. Life starts to become more bleak.. like I dunno what I want anymore.. what I can do.. what is impt.. I know who's impt.. bt putting too strong an emphasis on them might be detrimental to me as well..

I needa balance.. I'm like... SOOOOO OFF BALANCE NOW..

N.. should I help Lloyd? He's asking me to help him with EC.. n I dun really see the pt.. it's like.. He's alr an expert on his own.. and.. he irritates me.. so this really IS a gd time to get even.. bt God says.. Love ur enemies.. so IF I help him.. it's nt to show tt I'm "gd" bt rather to show Christian values.. although I'll hafta give up on like... 2 hrs of slp???

I've found out tt my CUTE tb06 are really a cute bunch of ppl.. for bstats.. common test 1.. it's an open book test.. n they LITERALLY took it as open BOOK.. they thought they could only bring tb in!!! Oh my gdness! Haha.. so funny!!!

Had my AAA test today.. was overly confident.. sigh.. didn't read carefully n left out major parts in my Profit and Loss Statement.. which resulted in me getting the wrong ans for my Statement of Changes in Equity.. which in turn caused me to get my Balance Sheet WRONG..

Sigh.. so careless...

Should have been more careful..

No pt crying over spilt milk anyway.. what's done's done..

Nat came down to sch to look for me.. then Chun Xiang, De Hong, Nat n I went back together.. the bus was like SOOOOO COLD!!! The air was condensing on the bus windows.. imagine how cold tt was! Worst still.. it rained for the WHOLE day..

Didn't really have the mood to study aft AAA test.. so I didn't.. n I'm still slacking.. have tuition n going for training tmr.. sigh.. nt going to study AGAIN.. then will be sun.. n I wun study yet again... sigh.. HOW?!?

I'm DYING... so tired!!!

Been studying.. bt nth gt into my thick skull of mine.. n I dunno how..

Tmr's AAA test.. n I'm still..........

Went for tuition today.. Cherie had this Chinese passage tt was VERY meaningful.. it's abt candles n how the author linked it to his tchr.. n frm there.. I came up with a phrase..
" Let my life be like a candle.. forever burning.. forever bright.. till my last breath.."

Maybe.. when I feel up to it.. or IF I ever feel like doing it.. I can write a poem or smtg.. haha.. we'll see..

I totally forgot abt helping Cherie with her poem on "Ocean".. the prob is.. it's supposed to rhyme.. it's the 2 paragraph.. abab cdcd.. kinda poem.. dun understand? It actually means tt alt lines r supposed to rhyme.. I know NUTS abt rhyming.. haha..

Dear's mum makes GREAT curry.. her curry chicken is VERY nice!!! Haha..

Dear "bullied" me.. He attempted to carry me across the road over to KAP.. I was petrified tt I started crying.. seem so childish huh..

We're both broke.. so sad.. bt true..

Nvm.. u dun hafta have money to be happy.. as long as u have each other.. u'll be happy.. at least for me I will..

Dear.. I know u've gt lots of stuff tt u dun wanna say cos u dun want me to worry.. bt smtimes.. the more u dun say, the more I'll think.. the more I'll worry..

Pray.. pray for health.. pray tt things go well.. pray tt no matter what happens.. we'll know tt it's for the best.. n tt everything's in His hands..

I'm in sch now.. in the proj rm with dear, dar n ak..

I've juz came back frm Cherie's plc frm tuition nt so long ago.. trying to do my AAA.. bt I cannot.. dunno howta do... sigh.. muz put in more effort..

Bought my 3 tbs.. I'm officially BROKE! I spent a total of $102.40 on my tbs.. n I had to think v hard to recall if I had enough $$ in my bank to pay for the bks.. imagine if I didn't have enough...

Dear is slping on my lap now.. in fact.. he slpt on my lap b4 I went for tuition.. n now.. he's slping on my lap again.. sigh.. he didn't really slp last nite..

He gt his new hp.. so jealous.. I oso want a new hp.. nt tt I'll get any.. sigh.. no $$.. I want the Sony Ericson K750i.. SOOOOO nice..

I'm tired too... bt I've gotta study... MUZ study!!!

Gambate!!!

Oh yeah... gt a new key chain.. my name.. so nice.. the guy did it with acrylic.. n he's GD with designing the names n cutting.. he used a coping saw.. n didn't use clamp AT ALL.. he's at bishan.. near the interchange.. take a look if u want.. u'll really be impressed....

Finally handed in our IEF report..

Lotsa things happened in sch today.. there was this mad rush for JJ Lin Jun Jie's concert tickets.. n there were only 250 tickets..

Went for my 1st Ex-Co mtg.. we had voted for the council.. Wonderfully or nt.. I'm the Asst Honary General.. in simple terms.. the asst secretary n person in charge of packaging..

For my 1st external programme, I'm to take part in SCS.. sm kinda seminar in Hotel Sofitel, M'sia.. n it's compulsary for me.. cos I'm the only yr 2 in the WHOLE ex-co.. sigh... n I dunno y... this will be on 23rd n 24th July.. meaning the sat n sun aft common test..
Then we'll oso be having this Poly Conference again in the same plc sm time during my ITP (Industrial Training Programme).. this one is for 5 days n it's a compulsary event for all cos NP is the one organising it..

I've nt started studying for my common test yet! Ok.. tmr.. going to touch a bit on AAA.. Mon - AAA n OM, Tue - OM n IEF, Wed - IEF, Thurs - PMKT, Fri - EC, Sat - OM...
Tt's my plan... MUZ stick to it!

Ok... I'm irritated by Lloyd ALR..

WHAT'S UR PROBLEM? NEED U CRITICISE AND INSULT ME LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS? U CALL ME A FLIRT COS U SAW MY MSN NICK " Each raindrop represents my love..." SAID TT I GIVE MY LOVE TO MANY.. PLS.. I'M NT LIKE TT.. I WUN STAY WITH SOMEONE IF I DO NT LIKE HIM!!! I AM NT.. LIKE U CRUDELY PUT IT, "A MONEY SUCKER".. COS I DEF DO NT SEE THE PT OF MISLEADING A PERSON IF I CLEARLY HAVE NO FEELINGS WHATSOEVER FOR HIM..!
SO IN SIMPLE TERMS.. IT MEANS TT I DO LIKE HIM!!! DUN JUDGE THE BOOK BY IT'S COVER.. DUN SAY THINGS TT U DUNNO OF.. YES.. THERE WAS A PERIOD OF TIME TT I WASN'T SURE OF MY FEELINGS.. BT PPL DO HAVE UPS N DOWNS IN THEIR EMOTIONAL STATES! I'M SURE U DO TOO!!!! SMTGS AREN'T WHAT THEY SEEM.. IF U DUNNO ANYTHING.. U'LL DO FINE JUZ TO SHUT UP.. I'LL APPRECIATE IF U DUN GIVE FALSE COMMENTS ON ME.. COS I DEF DID NT ASK U TO!!!

Tt aside..

RACHEL!!!!! I really CANNOT do EC on my own.. I'm like so totally STUCK.. pls.. I know u're nt in my class.. n I know tt u, like me, wun wanna repeat this module.. so PLS.. help up... u've skipped lessons.. I dun mind tt.. u even skip lectures.. nt tt I can do anything abt it.. bt throughout the WHOLE proj or so far at least.. u haven't done a single S***! Even the quiz tt all of us were supposed to do.. u waited for me to complete it.. nt as though complaining will help in anyway....

God.. help me.. I'm so stressed... tmr I've gotta be in sch frm 11am-7pm to work on our IEF sypnosis.. nxt wk's study break.. coming back on mon frm 10-12 for make-up OM tutorial.. AAA common test on Fri.. then common test wk.. having tests EVERYDAY except tue.. the fri aft common test wk is presentation for IEF.. then coming mon gotta hand in OM proj..

The punch line?

I've gt NTH done yet.. zero.. zilch.. nt even started studying..

How am I going to pass... much less score...........

The most memorable thing abt today is the movie tt I watched with dear.. Title of the movie is "Be With You".. it's a Jap movie.. only shown in Cathay cinemas.. I encourage u all to catch the movie.. it's really v nice..

It's a sad story of a man, boy n dead wife.. she promised to come back during the raining season.. which she did.. The family shared happy times with each other.. the husband, Aoi Takumi is suffering frm sm kinda health prob.. the son is a cute n understanding boy.. the wife, Mio is the "dead" woman.. she came back only during tt time n Takumi n Mio fell in love again during tt period of time.. they had many memorable moments..
When she found out tt she had to leave she planned a lot of stuff for them cos she knew tt she wouldn't be alive to tc of them.. she taught her son how to cook n do the laundry... ordered 12 yrs worth of b'day cakes for her son so tt he'll have a b'day cake every yr till he's 18.. instructed him to tc of his father..
I watched till I cried.. really v touching.. kinda like my situation...

Dear.. tc of urself k.. dun want anything to happen to u.. *muacks*

Sch today was relatively ok..

Went down for tuition.. then went to Barbara's to cut my hair.. when I reached there.. I found out tt dar n ak went down to have their hair cut in the evening.. n as usual.. I waited for Thomas to wash my hair.. I really enjoyed every moment of it.. when he was washing my hair for me, I told him tt his washing is the best.. tt his hands r skilled.. tt it feels like a massage chair.. then he said tt it's the last time alr.. tt he's leaving to go back to m'sia this sat.. those words fell like a bomb on me.. when I sat there n Johnny helped blow my hair I was literally tearing.. I didn't wanna cry.. bt I couldn't help it.. Roy has alr left.. Thomas is leaving too... really miss them.. really will..
When he was washing my hair for me today.. I could see tt he was looking at me.. I could feel.. n he was smiling sweetly at me.. guess there's a reason behind it all..
Thomas.. thx a lot.. u're the best.. no one's able to wash my hair like u do.. give me massages.. part my hair at the right plc w/o asking.. blow my hair the way u do.. talk n smile the way u do.. cos it's juz u.. all the best in m'sia...

The past wk.. I was confused.. I felt like I didn't feel a thing for him.. I felt like I couldn't stand him anymore.. tt he was irritating n all.. bt today.. I finally know y he did what he did..
U should have juz told me.. I know.. u dun want me to worry.. bt when I saw u winching in pain today.. I could feel it.. u juz didn't wanna say.. u dug ur nails into ur palms.. u almost dug ur fingers into the railing.. it hurts...
Take care of urself dear.. pls.. tc....

N yes.. I cried a lot today.. for Thomas.. for dear.. he said tt it's true tt women r made of water.. cos I kinda wet his shirt with my tears.. really feeling v tired now.. bt still gotta rush my IEF proj...

2/7.. I seemed to have totally forgot abt dar's bday.. bt I didnt! I sent her prezzie to her plc w/o her knowing.. then I didn't meet her.. I didn't msg her the 1st thing in the morning at 12 mn..
I wanted to surprise her.. msged her at 11.59pm.. :)
Went to nat's plc.. Kenneth went over too.. then I went out with Wan Cai n his fren to Geylang to eat..

3/7.. went to church.. during lesson, we discussed on the topic of Christian liberty.. watching tv is.. marriage to an unbeliever isn't.. doing things on sunday is.. so we muz know what is n what isn't..

Watched AI (Artificial Intelligence).. it was a v nice show.. v touching.. esp the ending.. David n his mother.. what he wanted all his life.. all the time.. was to become a real boy so tt his mum will nt leave him.. he went down the sea to look for the blue fairy.. n he froze.. then he was awoken by the touch of the future robots.. n he wanted them to revive his mum.. they had a prob.. it was only temporary.. for one day.. n for tt day.. they did everything together.. when she woke up.. he was the 1st person to greet her.. he made her a cup of coffee the way she liked it.. n he tucked her to slp at nite.. the most touching part was when she hugged him.. n told him tt she loved him.. tt she's always loved him.. n always will..
I cried.. at the last part.. really v touching..

If.. u only had one last chance with a person for only one day.. who will it be? What will u all be doing?

Cherish the ppl u have...

Attn to ALL!!!

I will prob be leaving my blog alone for a period of time.. cos I'm feeling v unstable abt stuff..

Else..

I might be blogging lotsa in-depth thots..

I dunno... I'll see..

Then.. it'll boil down to the "closing up" n the "opening" choice again..

Zhi Wei... SORRY!!!! REALLY!!!! Didn't mean it.. so so sooooooo sorry..

Met Wan Hong for lunch.. skipped PMKT lecture cos it was Robert Yow.. n I didn't bring my notes..

Saw Gaius n Annie in sch.. I really think there's smtg going on.. Sm stuff in sch caught my eye.. like a black bikini.. n shrunk.. VERY NICE! bt no $$.. so didn't buy..

Bumped into Chun Xiang's sec sch fren on the bus home.. we talked abt him.. n she was telling me tt he's getting despo for a gf.. maybe it's my fault.. I might have hurt him too deep.. I was intending on helping him bt she told me to let him be.. Prob it's for the best.....

Leon found out abt dear.. he was like.. I dunno how to describe.. it's like he said he's happy for me.. bt yet his tone sounded quite hostile? He asked me y didn't I let him know.. ok.. no. 1 it's been on my blog for AGES.. he has my blog addy.. so if he bothered to check.. he would have known.. no. 2 HOW DO U EXPECT ME TO SAY??? Go up to him n, "u know what? I'm attached" ??? Aft knowing him for coming to a yr.. he should know tt I'm nt this kinda person.. since he didn't ask or express any interest in finding out.. I didn't say.. n it's my fault?

Nat sent me sm photos of her in bikinis.. I muz say tt she look gd in them! Haha..

Today for EC.. I did most of the work again.. Rachel was trying to figure out the stuff.. she told me tt her com's access isn't working v well.. so I did it.. nvm.. I'll get her to do dreamweaver......

Went to sch.. skipped OM lecture.. n had tuition..

Went back to sch to look for dar n dear.. they were on the same lvl in the library bt they didn't see each other! When I asked dear to look for dar.. dear walked past her w/o knowing n told me tt he didn't see her.. (-_-"

Aft tt, dear n I went to dar's plc tt mac.. met up with Junius for a while..

Sigh.. still gt so much things to do.....

Today was fun!

Today's Koh Poh Tee's last lecture with us.. nxt term would be Ms Wong's..

Today's AAA tutorial was more of an overall revision for CO A/cs.. nt v ez to do..

Went for tuition.. then went to my maternal grandparents plc.. n I gt sweet potatoes to eat! My grandma offered to peel the skin for me.. bt I rejected.. then for my 2nd round of sweet potatoes, they were alr skinned.. then my uncle was like.. "How come she gets skinned ones n I dun!?!" Haha.. they were actually skinned b4 cooking.. tt's y I gt.. haha.. cute..

Gotta do IEF alr.. tataz..

Home frm work.. today wasn't as bz as yest bt still quite bad..

Slept at 430 this morning.. woke up at 745.. was VERY TIRED!

Ptr Cheah preached on 1 Cor 13.. on Charity.. which means love.. it's nt so much of BGR love bt fraternal.. like brotherly love.. yah.. great sermon..

Gt to hear the recordings today.. it wasn't as bad as we thot it would be.. sm of them weren't tt gd.. bt the gals ensomble was nice.. esp "O Lord Most Holy".. VERY NICE!
Oh yah.. we're going to sell the CDs.. I dunno how much they'll cost bt it's to raise funds for the kindergarden.. yupz.. so those who wanna plc orders.. juz put ur name on my tag board..

Went to wheelock plc with him to collect his hp.. n.. nokia gave him a new hp! Cos he's was totally bad.. haha.. serviced 4 times in the last 2 mths! I would have thrown the hp away... bt it's EX.. sigh..

Oh yeah.. Saw lotsa ppl today.. Mui Cher's back in SG! She juz gt back yest.. I saw her at Somerset MRT station while I was on my way back.. Was with dar, dear n wendy n she was with her 2 frenz..

When I reached Bishan n walked to the bus stop, I saw Lionel..

Feeling a bit drained.. been doing too much work... sapping energy...

Worked today.. it was a last min thing.. wasn't really prepared for it...

Yest, went for tuition.. I was late to meet him cos I was still at Cherie's plc.. n he called me n asked where I was.. he sounded quite hostile.. n we had a small tiff..
Went to Marina Bay with dar n him to eat.. ate quite a bit.. he's a gd cook! He makes great prawns..

Did nth much today.. so I dun really have much to write abt..

Dear.. u're v nice u know? Bt there're smtgs tt we cant agree with.. we juz hafta talk it out..

Smtimes.. I dunno what I want.. n many times.. I think A LOT.. bt I juz dun say it out.. I know.. I really do.. bt it's nt my fault.. I'm like tt... I've always been..

Went for kb today.. didn't really get to train though.. cos we were supposed to be looking out for the freshies' mistakes n correct them..

Did my personal ethnography presentation today.. wasn't all tt bad I suppose.. bt it was kinda short.. so short tt I myself was shocked.. we were each given 5 min.. I only took 1/2 of the timing needed.. Michael did smtg interesting.. brought sm specimens to class.. tt to me, n many others, they were scary.. prob it's cos we are afraid of them.. mmmm..

Hester darling.. I dun think u'll read this bt if u do.. leave tt idiot.. he's isn't worth u doing this to urself.. he totally sux.. n I know u wanna leave him alr.. juz tt he doesn't allow u to.. dun stress urself out kz?

I was v tired this aftnn on my way to sch.. I overslept n missed my stop.. so I took a cab back to sch.. he was waiting for me at the overhead bridge to help me carry my stuff bt I took a cab.. then he ran down to meet me at blk 53.. so sweet of him.. thx dear..

Home...

Yest... I went to look at NP's kb's training.. nt bad.. bt they dun focus on anyone.. apparently, they wanna filter the ppl 1st.. n start serious training only aft those who're nt serious leave..
Injured myself quite badly.. sigh.. nvm.. I'll heal..

Today, was VERY tired.. almost end up slping in OM tutorial.. bt at least didn't.. then went for PMKT.. Hello Kitty's back! Shingo acc me for lecture too.. thx dear.. :) Aft tt was EC tutorial.. then I went for tuition.. dear acc me to walk out too..
Aft tuition, I went to J8 with Leon to catch a movie.. Saw Tony at the food court with a gal he claims isn't his gf.. ok.. whatever.. I wun probe further.. We watched "A Lot Like Love".. it's quite a nice show.. juz tt the protagonists in the movie took 6 yrs to find out tt they actually loved each other.. def there were many happenings in btwn.. happy, unhappy, funny.... lots..

What I wanna say is.. u wun know who is the one for u.. sm ppl waste 6 yrs.. when the person has always been ard.. bt.... cherish them when they're ard.. cos u'll nv know.....

I'm home..

Freaking tired.. wanna die alr..

I haven't done my tutorials as yet.. crap.. I'm like so nt in shape to do..

I'm tired!

Darn.. I slpt late this morning.. woke up quite early bt still late.. he waited for more than an hr.. n when I reached.. he gave me a "I'm pissed" face.. ARGH! Felt like walking off.. No guy has ever given me tt kinda face.. even if he had to wait for me for a long time..

When we reached sch.. he went to slp.. then I was there doing my IEF notes.. met him at can 4 aft tt when I had lunch.. aft sch.. yah..

I should go slp.. it's like 1+ alr....

Yest n today was v bz...

What in the world am I saying..

What I'm trying to say is.. work was v tiring yest n today cos it was a full house.. I dunno the sales for yest bt I know today's 8000++

I did smtg stupid.. something tt'll hurt someone a lot.. I'm so sorry.. bt I guess it's for the better.. better sooner than later rite? I dun wanna wait till we've sunk too deep b4 I pull out.. it'll hurt too much... for u.. I really dun wanna hurt u.. u know? U've done so much.. u've tried so hard.. it matters to me.. u know? u matter...

Thunder is roaring.. Lightning is flashing outside the window.. in a way it depicts my feelings.. the feeling before rain comes.. the ominous feeling.. gloomy..

I dunno what's come over me..
Prob I took choice 3 w/o even knowing tt I took it......

I'm HOME! Dar's staying over tonite.. :P It's been quite some time since she last did...

I slept late last nite.. n woke up rather early today.. so I'm feeling quite tired now..

Saw Junius at the amk mrt station bus stop.. told him to leave 1st while I continued to wait for him to arrive..

Did my NPSTD domain in sch.. was a teeny-weeny late for IEF tutorial cos of tt..

Wanted to go donate blood today.. there wasn't a big prob.. I passed all tests.. I was of enough weight, my bp today was 100/60.. which wasn't all tt low.. temp was unusually high.. 37.2 degrees celcius.. pulse rate quite fast.. 72 beats per min.. passed the neon test.. (dunno if it's spelt like tt..) So I proceeded to draw blood.. I was lying there comfortably when the nurse came to help insert the needle.. she couldn't find my veins.. told me tt my veins r too fine.. said tt if she tried to insert the needle, I'll get bruises n there might nt be any blood.. so poor Shingo was left to donate blood on his own.. sorry dear.. really nt done on purpose... I didn't mean to leave u there alone.. juz tt the nurse dun allow me to donate.. my fine veins are in-borned.. inherited.. I can't do anything abt it.....

Dar n I met Nat at Far East.. went to walk for a while.. then Nat had to leave.. The both of us decided to stick ourselves in BK to have our dinner so as to prevent ourselves frm spending more.. what to do.. we're BROKE.. Bought a necklace for Rachel.. Shingo came down aft tt.. n I bought a pair of... shoes? slippers? dunno how to describe..

Went down to taka to find Mushroom Pot's "counter".. It's located SOOOOO FAR IN!!!!! We spent $5 to get $13 worth of food! Tt's cos we're staff.. no arguments..

Dear.. u're so sweet.. u actually bought the rings.. n u managed to do it w/o me knowing.. when dar n I went to the toilet.. u went to send them for engraving.. u dared to kneel down in front of a crowd.. juz to put on the ring for me.. need I mention how touched n shocked I was? I was speechless.. dumbfounded.. whatever u said.. whatever dar said.. all landed directly on my heart.. u all really did a lot u know?

1 mth.. nt a long time.. bt alr had lotsa ups n downs.. lotsa doubts.. lotsa.... uncertainties.. u're telling me tt we can pull through.. tt we will.. I hope so.. really do..

Juz reached home nt so long ago.. yupz..

Today was ISP presentation day.. wasn't all tt bad.. Shingo acc me for breakfast today.. then he left for lesson while I discussed proj..

The presentation was ok.. overall.. we did quite well.. or so.. I thot..

Went down for kb n did NTH.. cos it was orientation.. the freshies came.. so we didn't have training as usual...

Dear.. I'm so sorry.. guess all I'm apt at doing is to make u upset.. to hurt u.. I'm really nt gd.. I'm really tt bad.. I told u nt to like me.. bt apparently, u're past tt..
I'm atrocious.. juz now when u hugged me.. and asked me if it were the last.. I couldn't ans.. my heart ached.. physically.. bt emotional wise.. I didn't feel a thing..
At tt pt in time.. I juz felt like giving up.. like nt fighting anymore..

U're nt suffocating me.. def nt.. when u tell me u miss me n all.. it juz kinda reassures me tt I'm all u're thinking of.. it's my dad.. when he comes into play.. n u're juz being u.. then the suffocating effect comes..
It takes 2 hands to clap.. 1 cant make any sound..
Dun keep blaming urself.. it's NT ur fault.. nv was.. nv will be..
Everything is my fault.. if I waver, it's my fault.. cos I cannot commit.. if I'm stubborn, it's my fault.. if I dun love u, it's my fault.. cos I dun dare..

I'm tired.. v tired... really... v v tired.. I dunno how much longer I can last.. n how much more I can take....

It hurts...............

I.. dunno how to say this..

My dad doesn't approve..

He told me tt u're nt the one for me.. tt u're stubborn.. tt he knows I'm looking for someone who understands me n all.. bt u're nt the one.. he said tt the right one hasn't come yet.. nt now.. n he told me nt to let him down..

I know u're stubborn.. I know u're zhuai.. I know tt it might cause problems cos I'm v stubborn too.. n it's nt possible tt u keep giving in to me.. cos one of these days.. u'll stop..

I'm.. squashed in the middle.. I can hardly breathe..

On one hand I've my dad.. who's so sure tt u're nt the one.. who's trying his best to keep me away frm u.. to stop me frm getting into a rlsp with u...
Yet on the other hand.. I've gt u.. I... it's hard...

I've thought of 3 choices.. n I dun wanna take either... bt I muz...
1. Be Daddy's gal.. take what he says.. hurt him by choosing nt to be with him
2. Dun care abt what Daddy says.. juz be with him
3. Close myself up.. dun care abt anything tt happens ard me..

God.. I know there's the religion barrier.. I know tt there's a limit to what I can do.. to what I can change..
Tell me.. what to do.. pls... tell me what to do.......

~where's everybody when I need someone to be here for me... at least physically...~

Hey!

Kinda surprised tt I'm home so early yah? Well.. I'm quite surprised myself.. what to do? I had nth to do.. my dad wanted me home.. n so here I am.. had "dinner" with my dad.. 1st time.. at home.. alone with my dad.. having dinner.. my dinner was chicken soup n the chicken drumstick.. YUMMY!

Prob now is.. my dad went out.. so I'm literally home.. ALONE.. nvm.. what to do? Haha..

I've juz finished calling the yr 1s who're going for kb.. the list is quite horrible.. I've ppl whose no are no longer in use n some whose no r wrong.. bt I managed to make do.. n call those I can to pass the msg.. for the rest.. too bad.. :P It's nt exactly my prob if they dun turn up.. Opps.. did I juz say tt? haha..

Grace n Far like each other.. they have a big prob though.. n somehow dear.. it's the same.. Grace is a christian.. Far's muslim.. n both of them stand to their beliefs..

I almost quarrelled with him today.. over minor things like.. whether to go for lecture or nt.. I wanted to go cos I wasn't sure abt the module alr.. n he wanted to acc me.. bt he didn't wanna go for lecture with me cos he didn't wanna sit there n stone, nt knowing a single thing tt the lecturer is saying.. we msged.. then he called.. I felt tt it was quite intense.. he said, "call me when u've decided whether u wanna go for lecture or nt.." I said ok.. n I thot he put down the hp so I put mine down.. then he msged n asked me y I put down.. I was like.. frustrated alr.. so I didn't reply.. then when I've chilled a little.. I called him n he told me he was on his way down to canteen 1 alr.. when he reached, he gave me a little smtg tt he did yest.. v nice.. although it was a little out of shape, it's still done by him.. somehow made the tension go away..

Had lunch with Zhi Wei n Yi Ling, Dar n AK n Shingo came down.. so it's like.. 6 of us squeezing in one small table meant for 4.. Went to sit outside the lecture theatre with Shingo n Dar n AK went in.. coming out during the break.. Zhi Wei left with Yi Ling to go out..

Grace dearie.. I dunno what I can say.. only tt we're in the same situation.. all I would wanna say is.. stand strong to ur faith.. God nv makes mistakes.. yes.. we may waver in our faith.. bt still.. stand firm.. pray abt it.. rmb.. u've gt me! :)

Hp on 24-7.. anything can call me..

Richard.. I hope u wun compare.. like I've only gt to wait 1/2 an hr for him to finish bathing n all bt u're only out on the wkends.. pls.. dun be like this... I wouldn't mind waiting the whole wk if I were with u.. I've did it b4.. n I know.. the pt is.. I'm nt with u.. I know tt I've hurt u.. n I'll hurt u even more.. I'm sorry.. bt there's nth I can do to make up for it.. is there? Bt I know what u want.. will be what I cannot give.. Sorry...

Our group pic at the "LOVE" word juz outside Glass House 

Dar n I... 

Aft we've finished eating.. (frm bottom left: Me, Clara, Diana, Amy, Wee Hoon, Kendrick)(2nd row left: Deron, Zi Kang, AK, Clarence, Bob, Alvin, Greg)(Top: Lloyd, Benny, Zhi Wei) 

At Fish n Co.. 

The surprise cake session in sch.. 

I'm so sorry tt I did tt.. I'm sorry..

I dunno y I did what I did.. I know it hurt u a lot..

I couldn't rmb what happened on the 17th May.. I really couldn't rmb until u told me.. Cos to u.. they mattered.. n to me.. they didn't really matter tt much.. at least at tt period of time they didn't..

I'm so sorry.. I know.. u aren't look for sorry.. u juz want me to know how u feel abt it all.. u wanna talk things out.. trash things out.. so tt u wun keep things inside.. so tt I'll know how u feel.. n what's going on..
I'm sorry.. it really is hard to tell everything u know? I expect ppl to know.. yeah.. I know.. expectations too high.. I dun wanna say n yet want ppl to know.. Guess tt's juz so me..

I'm really v bad.. the thing I do best is to hurt u.. I'm so sorry dear.. so sorry.. I didn't mean to hurt u.. I didn't mean to do those things tt hurt u.. I know it hurts.. I know how badly it hurts.. let me do smtg to amend k...?

I'm sorry.. bt I still dun love u..
I know.. u might.. no.. u will hurt seeing this..
BT..
I like u.. A LOT..
Bt love comes in later..
When I start to.. I'll know..

Till then.......

Today's a fun day.. :P

Today's Wee Hoon's bday.. the 1st lesson was PMKT tutorial.. aft tt, we gt Wee Hoon, Clara n Amy to leave 1st while the rest of us prepared the surprise for Wee Hoon.. we had a cake.. n sang bday song for her.. aft tt, we made our way down to PS.. 15 of us.. haha.. Wee Hoon, Amy, Clara, Deron, Clarence, Alvin, Bob, Kendrick, Lloyd, Greg, Benny, Zhi Wei, AK, Diana n I.. We went to watch Mr & Mrs Smith.. Aft tt, we went to Glass House (Fish & Co) for dinner.. Zi Kang joined us.. the total bill? $354.00.. I gt a shock when I saw the bill..
We played games.. the no. guessing game.. the 1st few rounds were drinking kola tonic.. a mix of sprite with cola syrup.. then the subsequent ones are dares.. Wee Hoon had to kiss Kendrick on the lips.. Bob had to kiss Amy on the cheek for 10s.. Zi Kang had to carry Wee Hoon.. Greg.. did 10 push-ups on top of me.. as in I was lying on the floor.. then Deron had to french Clara for 7s.. n AK french Diana for 5s..
Yah.. the dumb things we did..
We dedicated b'day song for Wee Hoon n Deron.. then the guy who sang walked up when he was singing the song, "Right Here Waiting".. quite cool.. :P

Spent A LOT today.. bt.. still ok.. what to do? Fren's bday.. it's nt like I celebrate b'days everyday... haha.. anyway it's fun.. n nice.. :P

I'm SO going to do smtg on Zhi Wei's bday.. bt I dunno what.....

Ok.. I know I haven't posted for like.. 3 days?

Can't exactly rmb the events for the rest of the days... OH.. I kinda rmb..

Fri..
EC lecture was total crap.. ended up slping again..
Had IEF tutorial aft tt..
Then had tuition with Cherie.. she bought me a koala souveniur.. oh.. n.. he's back... gt me the army shirt n shorts frm taiwan..
Went down to Lot 1 to catch Mr n Mrs Smith with Shingo.. Angelina Jolie is SOOOO HOT!!! She's like SOOO sexy... I wish I had her figure..
Aft tt, we went down to Iggy's plc.. where we stayed for the nite.. There, I became Robert's personal dermatologist.. helping him to do facial.. squeezing pimples n white heads.. haha.. Then, I became Maria.. went out to buy groceries n food for the ppl..
Drank quite a bit.. a few shots.. Barcardi, Absolute Vodka (Pure, Raspberry, Vanilla), Bailey's, n this brand of vodka.. can't rmb the brand.. Bailey's with milk is v nice! Smooth.. tasted like chocolate milk.. :P

Sat..
Woke up, had kb where I didn't really train cos I was too tired.. At Iggy's it was like many of us stayed up.. then 7 of us squeezed in his rm.. haha.. crazy.. Slept only abt an hr.. bt poor Shingo didn't get to slp cos the sofa was apparently too short for him.. n I was um... zZzZZ.. sigh.. too tired..
Saw nat's bf, Kenneth.. he's Diana's pri sch fren.. such a SMALL world.. anyway.. we had ice cream at haagen daz n took neoprint at J8.. b4 dar n I went to Parco.. I bought a new top n skirt! VERY NICE!!! Bt spent like 50++ on them.. now no $$.. BROKE... sigh..

Sun..
Went to church.. for the 1st sun.. I dun have choir.. feels so weird!!! Choir debriefing was fellowship session with pizza.. 2 Hawaiian, 1 Curry Chicken, 1 Pepperoni's Lovers.. all regular.. then 1 set of 12 spicy drumlets, 1 box nachos with salsa.. VERY nice.. I LOVE SALSA!!!
Had work aft tt.. I bought dar a hp chain.. which Yuanyuan wonderfully took.. :( Bt.. nvm.. I'll get another one.. wondered y she gave the money to dar instead of me..
Leon's been trying to get to me today.. then his reason was cos he felt tt he needed to say sorry.. I dunno.. y say sorry... there's no reason to.. at all.. no pt too..

I really am tired.. in a couple of hrs.. my family is going to msia.. leaving my dad n I in Sg.. so sad.. I'm going to miss them.. n my house is going to be EMPTY.. until my dad comes back tt is.. *grinzzzz* can havoc.. *hint hint* Crazy.. then I needa clear up the mess.. dun want..

I miss my late grandma suddenly.. cos Shingo said tt I'm blur.. no link? Well.. there is..
She used to call me "bler" cos my name's Deborah.. then she doesn't speak eng.. so when she calls.. she'll omit the De.. n try the borah.. bt it sounds like "blur"..
Now there're tear droplets lining my lower eyelids.. miss hearing her call me tt.. miss her..
Suddenly rmb tt time.. I cant rmb how old I was.. bt I had 3 b'day cakes tt yr.. n tt was the only yr.. tt yr.. I celebrated at both my grandparents plc n at home.. She was so enthusiastic.. calling everyone a wk b4 to inform them tt it's my b'day the nxt wk.. tt she's going to have a party at her plc.. she really loved me a lot.. prob cos I was her 1st grandchild.. I still am..
She's still my grandma.. n no matter what happens.. she'll live in my heart.. although she's no longer here in person..
Nai Nai.. I miss u.. a lot.. and although u dun read eng.. I'm sure u can feel it..
*Xiang ni*

Juz reached home nt so long ago..

Finally finished recording.. for the 1st time.. my sun is going to be free.. I'm so going to miss having choir on sun! :(

Today was Eunice's b'day.. Happy 22th Bday! We surprised her with a bday song in the middle of our rehearsal for recording.. then she had cake.. CHOCOLATE CAKE!!! Nice.. cos I finally gt to eat chocolate.. :P

Recording was tiring.. the air con was off b4 10.. we recorded till 11+.. so for at least 1 hr, we were recording in a stuffy room.. everyone was perspiring.. felt like we were in a sauna.. only cooler than tt..

Today, I went to ACM.. Asian Civilisation Museum.. cool!!! VERY nice.. oh.. n.. there's the Vatican artifacts coming soon.. 18th June to 6th Oct.. I wanna go!!!

Too much of Da Vinci Code.. :P

Yest, BW sent the 4 of us back, Christine, Julia. Isabel n I.. I gt into the front seat of the car n to my horror, I saw a cockroach running put from the car's dashboard. My immediate reaction was to scream and jump out of the car. I must apologise to Shingo cos I blasted into his ear, He was on the phone with me when I screamed.. So sorry.. BW had to catch the cockroach b4 I dared to return to the car..

The Da Vinci Code.. I would surmise it as a gd book overall.. Gd in writing style, gd in the twists in the story, gd in the suspense build up, interesting codes, wide range of vocab used in the writing. The plot is great.. took plc in a plc of historical value, speaks of history.. Nice layout of events.. yet, many flaws r found in the content of the bk.. In trying to decipher the codes however, many "truths" were told. These "truths" are false in nature, disputing Christ's divinity. To keep u all in suspense, I'll nt disclose what was written bt I wanna remind u tt Christ Himself is indeed God n tt He remained single all His life on earth.. Many bks n documentaries have been written n filmed to see if the contraversy was true bt they found out tt the bk was mere fiction.. Hence the bk is juz a readable, interesting bk, nt to be believed..
I'm eyeing the nxt bk, Angels n Demons.. I figured tt I should read the sequel.. cos it's nice! :P

Ur highness (Chen Peiyi) is down with high fever.. Regina msged us this morning at 8 plus to tell us tt OM tutorial was cancelled.. Gd thing was.. I was still at home.. Lloyd however, was alr on his way to sch.. I reached sch at 1240pm.. Haha..

The PMKT lecturer today isn't Wong Wai Mun bt Robert Yow.. Oh man.. He's extremely BORING! Sigh.. He spent 1 hr on the 1st 11 slides.. n dragged on.. Dar, AK, Zhi Wei left during break time.. B04 ppl left as well.. I stayed back.. I would have felt left out had I followed them cos Dar has AK.. Zhi Wei had Yi Ling n even if he doesn't, he has AK.. u would prob say tt I have Dar.. bt smhow things aren't tt way.. I dun wanna go too much into the issue.. it def has no advantage for me..

Had EC tutorial.. Rachel didn't come cos she was sick.. n I had to do the tutorial on my own.. I was cracking my brain n had to literally squeeze my brain juice to think of field names for my database..

Gt to see Shingo aft 1 wk.. gt lotsa australian stuff.. haha.. 1st thing he gave me was on the bus ride home.. a mood ring.. then on the way to bishan, he gave me a t-shirt.. aft tt, at the playground near my house.. he set up 2 scented candles.. one on my left n one on my rite.. n placed a box in the centre.. in it holds a beautiful opal heart necklace..
Yes.. I'm a sucker for romance.. I like romantic ppl k... n I dun see anything wrong with tt..

Whatever it is.. I dun wanna take things into my own hands.. ask 1st..

Had singing juz now.. now my throat's v dry..

Today, the AAA lecturer.. TT lady.. wasn't tt bad.. yes.. she was still horrible.. bt nt tt bad..

I slept during OM lecture.. too tired..

Had veg n egg for lunch.. with papaya n dragon fruit.. n celery, green apple juice.. u've no idea how nice it tastes! Tastes better than celery with lemon.. :P veg n tofu for dinner.. I'm going on this strict veg n fruit diet.. cos of singing.. needa get my voice back.. n of cos.. besides the dishes.. I had rice to go along with them..

Oh.. I finished reading The Da Vinci Code alr.. it's a nice bk tt everyone should read with a pinch of salt.. cos it disputes the Christian faith.. many of the things tt is written.. esp in connection with Christ's divinity is false.. all these things.. if u do nt have enough knowledge.. will be detrimental to ur faith..

Cherie n Shingo are back alr.. yup.. Richard's going to have his POP tmr..

Gotta do tutorial alr.. bt b4 I go...

Tried writing this paragraph in chinese bt apparently they can't be read.. so.. here's the hanyu pinyin translation..

you hen duo shi bu shi shuo hao jiu hao, yin wei li tou ke neng hui you qi ta bu ke gao ren huo bu xiang yu ren fen xiang de li you.
sui shuo shuang fang ru guo bi ci xi huan dui fang de hua jiu ke yi zai yi qi, dan you hen duo shi hou, shi qing bing fei ru ci jian dan.
dan ru guo ni yi jin he yi ge ni xi huan de ren zai yi qi de hua... er ta ye hen zai hu ni... qing bu yao qing yan fang qi.. yin wei hen duo shi shi bu neng hui tou de.
you xie ren hui shuo, bu zai hu tian chang di jiu, zhi zai hu chen jing yong you.. ke neng zhe jiu shi zui jian dan que you nan liao jie de dao li ba.
wo zui xiang shuo de shi.. zhen xi ai ni he ni ai de ren.. bu yao dao tou lai hou hui de ren shi ji zi..

Dar.. wo ai ni.. zhe yi dian mei bian guo.. wu lun ru he, bu guan fa sheng shen me shi, wo dou hui pei ni yi qi du guo...
Nat.. I dun wish to ask so much.. lest u find me a nuisance.. bt whatever it is.. I'll be here kz.. hp on 24-7..

Juz finished choir nt so long ago.. my poor throat's hurting like mad.. my voice seems to be going too.. it's like.. SO SAD!

Sch today was like any other.. sold a few bks.. tt's abt it..

IEF lecture.. I almost fell aslp.. ALMOST.. bt didn't..

AAA tutorial.. it's like... I didn't do tutorial.. so ended up copying the tutorial frm tchr.. bt at least I understand tt way.. nono.. at least I understand better..

Muz rest more.. drink honey.. drink pi pa gao.. no fried food.. no chilli.. :'(

Went to church today.. had lesson.. then singing..

I think I've spoilt my throat or smtg.. muz take more water.. muz take honey.. muz take more pi pa gao.. okok.. dun complain..

I didn't go to work.. found out tt I kinda sprained my left foot.. so I couldn't work.. sigh..

I can't rmb what I wanna type.. hmmm.. I always forget.. I'll write if I rmb.. I think I should write it down or smtg..

Know what's the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Knowledge is what u know.. wisdom is the application of what u know.. Many times u know what u should do.. n what u should nt.. bt end up nt doing what u should n do what u shouldn't.. n many times u do things cos of emotions.. which, many of us know tt we shouldn't let emotions take control of us.. bt many times they juz take over us..

Emotions r gd servants bt bad masters.. if u control ur emotions.. gd n well.. if u cannot control n let them control u.. u'll prob be misled..

Many times I've been ruled by emotions.. n it's v hard to curb it..

I guess by praying n reading the Bible.. I'll be more clear on the path God wants me to take.. n even if it hurts.. or if it's going to hurt.. with God, nth is impossible.. He'll lead me thru..

Juz added a little smtg to the extreme left bar.. scroll down to see..

Yes.. I know tt this template's a little irritating.. too many scrolling bars.. relax kz? Will try to change my template soon.. n if possible.. create one of my own.. IF possible.. I dun really think I've the creativity, skill n time to do it though...

What to do?

Ok..

Didn't do much today.. went for kb..

Tony kept commenting tt I bite my lips.. It's NT ON PURPOSE!!! Then everytime he sees me bite.. he whack my head with the padding.. aft like 2 or 3 hits I can block alr.. everytime he sees me opening up my ribs to be attacked.. he attack.. then I block.. haha.. actually it's gd training..

Aft tt, went for dinner with Qi Zhi.. had pasta at Pizza Hut..

Then came home.. yupz.. tt's abt it..

I feel.. tt I haven't been putting my focus on God.. cos suddenly.. I feel alone.. suddenly.. I feel weak.. suddenly.. I can't concentrate on my sch work.. suddenly.. I lose focus..

I muz pray.. I muz read the Bible.. I muz pay attn to what He wants...

Went to sch for EC lecture.. was tired so I ended up slping.. sigh..
Then I didn't understand IEF's tutorial.. Met the tutor today.. she kinda shocked me when she 1st entered cos she was dressed like a guy.. and she really looked like a GUY..

Tried doing the tutorial.. bt spent a long time doing it.. sigh..

Met Robin! He said he's fat.. bt it didn't look tt way..

Went for choir aft tt.. sang till my voice almost went..

1 thing I want to put forward.. guys should be more gentlemanly.. simple actions like holding the door, carrying the stuff will do.. Others like sending ur gal friends home.. even if they're nt ur steads.. will show too..

I actually have many things tt I wanna write.. many things... bt I can't rmb what I want to.. all I know is...

Sch's killing me....

I really need help.. IEF, AAA esp.. OM n PMKT oso.. n one more...... EC.. I dunno how to do EC.. my partner, Rachel.. seems to nt care abt it at all.. n she came up with a wonderful proposal.. Bridal.. I dunno how in the world to do..

I'm finally done with my IEF tutorial! I dun understand anything!!! Argh.. feeling so upset now... :(

Shingo landed in Aussie at abt 7.58am.. he msged me to tell me tt he landed.. n he oso sent me an email frm the cafe there.. v sweet..

ISP today was fun.. VERY fun.. we did experiments on ppl.. and found out tt NP students aren't all tt helpful.. sigh.. so disappointing...

Aft ISP, I went down to esplanade to see Serene's performance.. VERY nice.. it's SO gd! They used traditional Indonesian instruments to make music.. different kinds of music too.. Rock, fusion, traditional, more towards Canto-pop.. yupz.. Great experience.. I went with Junius.. then Chun Xiang joined us like towards the ending of the performance.. met Justus there too..

The 3 of us had dinner at this Jap stall at Cine.. saw Carol there.. Carol frm tb06.. my freshie.. yup.. she was quite shocked to see me there as well.. had dessert.. sesame paste.. it's nt bad.. nt v thick.. bt still passable.. took neoprint.. quite nice.. no.. is nice.. :P then headed home..

Going to do some 'light' reading for IEF..

Home..

I somehow feel like an outcast.. sigh.. Robin said tt it's shocking to hear tt..
Somehow.. it's like.. whenever it comes to forming grps to do grp work.. I'll be left there.. while the others happily go to their own cliques.. n aft they finished forming, then they'll start considering me..

Maybe it's cos I'm a pain in the ass.. or a thorn in the flesh.. whichever's more painful..
Or cos I'm a VIP.. nono.. nt Very Impt Person.. bt Very Irritating Person..

Shingo's leaving alr.. going to Australia.. soon..
I dunno how I feel.. I know tt I'm supposed to miss him.. if I like him.. bt I dunno how I'm feeling now.. prob I've missed ppl too much to feel any difference.. bt I guess.. I'll feel weird nt having him call me up in the morning.. or nt telling me to slp at nite..

Gotta do my ISP alr... blog again if I have the time..

I'm having E-commerce lessons now..

The tutor isn't v frenly.. sigh.. dun really like her..

Juz ended PMKT lecture.. the lecturer, Wong Wai Mun.. wasn't tt high today.. so the lecture was quite boring.. Kenneth, a freshie crashed our lecture.. he was like rotting away..

Had my 1st OM tutorial today.. Tutor is Chen Peiyi.. She's hyper! N she's a Taiwanese.. She's like.. hip.. VERY hip.. she kinda told us to call her, "Ur highness" cos she wanted a name of royalty.. so she "psychoed" us to call her tt.. quite funny..

Now trying to form grps.. so SIAN! Okok.. I better get to work.. sigh...

Home! Bathed...

Today.. I've officially condemned OM lecture.. the lecturer is atrocious.. BORING.. ATROCIOUS!!!

PMKT tutorial was ok.. the tutor is a classic tutor.. the kind who cant stand noise.. sigh.. n our class is like SOOOO noisy..

Wan Hong's attached.. the way he celebrated his gf's b'day is v romantic.. n full of surprises..

He went to meet her on her bday.. n hid a stalk of rose under his shirt.. then he gave the impression tt he didn't have anything for her.. then he suddenly asked her to close her eyes n gave her the rose.. so sweet..
He brought her to Pastamania where he decided to go to the toilet.. then a lady walked in n presented her with a bouquet of roses.. tt lady's his fren.. yah.. Bouquet of 5 champange roses, 1 red rose.. told her the 'story behind the roses'.. Tt she's the red rose among the champange roses.. tt among the nice ppl.. she's the one tt stands out in his life..
They took a rickshaw ride round esplanade..

Nice.. v nice.. full of surprises n romance..

ARGH.. I'm a sucker for romance.. sigh..